Judge a whiskey by its cover

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DisorientingSneeze

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We are in a terrible season of allergies and pollen and colds. These times sometimes call for a little medicinal whiskey. I usually go with a familiar one, but I was so taken by the epic “cover art” for Canadian Hunter. Look at this guy!
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He looks awesome. What would you assume about this person if he were real? Help me write him a backstory, just for fun. My husband started spontaneously singing a song about him last night. I wish I could remember more of the strange heroic feats he attributed to him in song, but I was coming in and out of weird sick person couch naps.
 
I’m not buying that he is a “Canadian Hunter”, not with that beard. He looks more like a hipster. I bet the dogs are blocking view of his skinny jeans.
 
You make an important point about the beard and curiosity grows about his pants.
 
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Things aren’t going his way. Doesn’t look like the dogs are sure whose side they are on.
 
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He likes to be reaaaaallly close to the animals he hunts.
 
(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.) Also saves baby cubs or drops them off cliffs. I’m not sure.
 
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DisorientingSneeze said:
Help me write him a backstory, just for fun.
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Sam Hunter walked aimlessly, carrying his things in a cardboard box. “We have to let you go,” the VP of Marketing had said. And not that long ago, how did his girlfriend put it? “It’s not you. It’s me.” The October chill turned to rain, and that’s when Sam saw the billboard. The billboard that changed his life.

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DisorientingSneeze said:
He looks awesome. What would you assume about this person if he were real
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If???

I want royalties.

It’s happening again . . .

My likeness isn’t always stolen without paying royalties. But when it is, it’s to sell bad foreign beer . . .

At least tell me that it’s good whiskey . . .

(oh, wait, Canadian. Probably blended, too . . .)
Xystus said:
I’m not buying that he is a “Canadian Hunter”, not with that beard. He looks more like a hipster.
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As my former law partner noted, hipsters attempt to emulate my beard and suspenders . . .

I don’t think those are skinny jeans, though. If they’re stealing my likeness, the backstory is that he lost his leg while protecting a lost child from a rabid bear, three starving wolves, a demonically possessed honey badger, and two, uhm, frisky moose that lost the mating challenges
DisorientingSneeze said:
Also saves baby cubs or drops them off cliffs. I’m not sure.
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. After amputating his own leg without anesthesia, he had to cut down a tree with his teeth and fingernails, and made a prosthetic from it.

He developed this whiskey so that the next Red Blooded American Male caught north of the border has anesthesia . . .

They weren’t rescued. Those are the offspring of his pet cat, and he’s just being them back after they climbed out of the box.

hawk, off to write a letter demanding royalties
 
That looks like Chevy Chase. Is this an old movie? Canadian Vacation?

Or possibly Tim Allen – The Santa Claws.
 
I say he already had one dog but found the dead prospector’s dog from “To Build a Fire” and takes care of him.
 
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