Just Don't Know What to Do...

[juliasmith]

I’ve been gone from the forums (and the church) for almost a year now.

I have a history of occult involvement, and fell back into those practices while away from the church.

I have over twenty years in neo-paganism and with this return to those practices came a promise of income for teaching.

Yesterday, I was overwhelmed by a powerful sense of guilt for being involved with this teaching process. I won’t share what happened, as we are not supposed to share personal revelations, but it was powerful. I need prayer and advice. I do not know how to extricate myself from this completely.

My best friend is neo-pagan. I run a small group again. I am set to teach at an online,degree providing Wiccan school,this is so intertwined in my life I don’t think I can ever get away from it.

I will lose my entire social network and support system. But I know that I cannot continue with this. I am tired of the roller-coaster.I’ve waffled back and forth between the two worlds (christian and neo-pagan) for so long. I want free of this once and for and all. Last night I came across the alleged vision of Leo XIII(?) about Satan being given more power over people that would do his will in this century and it seemed that was what I was going through. The devil had been given more power over me because I allowed it to happen.

But every time I pray to Christ, it seems He is not there. That He has turned his back on me.Is that possible that it is too late and Christ will have nothing to do with me because I allowed myself to get confused and in doing so, sinned?

 

[juliasmith]

Just realized that I placed this in the wrong list. Moved to Spirituality.

 

[SalomeBintullah]

I’ve been gone from the forums (and the church) for almost a year now.

I have a history of occult involvement, and fell back into those practices while away from the church.

I have over twenty years in neo-paganism and with this return to those practices came a promise of income for teaching.

Yesterday, I was overwhelmed by a powerful sense of guilt for being involved with this teaching process. I won’t share what happened, as we are not supposed to share personal revelations, but it was powerful. I need prayer and advice. I do not know how to extricate myself from this completely.

My best friend is neo-pagan. I run a small group again. I am set to teach at an online,degree providing Wiccan school,this is so intertwined in my life I don’t think I can ever get away from it.

I will lose my entire social network and support system. But I know that I cannot continue with this. I am tired of the roller-coaster.I’ve waffled back and forth between the two worlds (christian and neo-pagan) for so long. I want free of this once and for and all. Last night I came across the alleged vision of Leo XIII(?) about Satan being given more power over people that would do his will in this century and it seemed that was what I was going through. The devil had been given more power over me because I allowed it to happen.

But every time I pray to Christ, it seems He is not there. That He has turned his back on me.Is that possible that it is too late and Christ will have nothing to do with me because I allowed myself to get confused and in doing so, sinned?

Don’t ever think that Christ has abandoned you. That’s just Satan working on you and trying to convince you to come back to him. Don’t forget about St. Paul; he persecuted and even killed Christians, but God caused him to turn away from that and work to spread Christianity. It must have been incredibly difficult for him to lose his entire “support network” by giving up persecution and becoming one of the persecuted. But it was worth it. I suggest rereading the Acts of the Apostles and St. Paul’s letters with this in mind. Maybe you could also watch this movie about Paul’s life.

In the past, I’ve also struggled with some sins that have been very difficult to give up. Satan is continually trying to convince me to return to them, and sometimes I do, but I always regret them afterward and go to confession. I’ve noticed that it’s easier for me to resist each time. Remember, there is no sin so great that God cannot forgive it.

And, of course, I would definitely recommend looking for a new job.