Just what are 4th Commandment duties?

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Hermione

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Hello everyone,

I don’t want to sin against the 4th Commandment, but I don’t quite know what’s required of me by this Commandment.

Right now I am being financially supported by my parents, so I owe them obedience. I understand this as doing things they ask me to do assuming it’s not dangerous for my health, immoral etc.

What about when I become financially independent? I understand that I will owe them support when they are elderly, but will I be obligated to maintain a relationship with them? Will I have any sort of obligation to involve them in any aspects of my life?

Also, do I have any obligation to FEEL a particular way about my parents?

Thanks!
 
Prior to the age of emancipation, those duties can be summed up with one word: obedience.

After the age of emancipation, those duties can be summed up with another word: respect.

Also, children, please note that the first word, according to the 4th Commandment, also means obedience to those your parents put in authority of you, such as teachers.

– Mark L. Chance.
 
duties of children and parents are spelled out in the Catechism of the Catholic church under the section on the 4th commandment
 
duties of children and parents are spelled out in the Catechism of the Catholic church under the section on the 4th commandment.
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2197 - 2257 paragraphs
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I thought this would help and the Catechism of the Catholic Church is on line at:

scborromeo.org/ccc.htm

👋
 
your parents are people just like everyone else… and the words of jesus… “Love each other”… i dont think we can love our parents if we dont even take part in a relationship with them and include them in our lives. As far as the 4th commandment duties… those have already been fullfilled in christ… i wouldnt worry to much about it
 
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Hermione:
Hello everyone,

I don’t want to sin against the 4th Commandment, but I don’t quite know what’s required of me by this Commandment.

Right now I am being financially supported by my parents, so I owe them obedience. I understand this as doing things they ask me to do assuming it’s not dangerous for my health, immoral etc.

What about when I become financially independent? I understand that I will owe them support when they are elderly, but will I be obligated to maintain a relationship with them? Will I have any sort of obligation to involve them in any aspects of my life?

Also, do I have any obligation to FEEL a particular way about my parents?

Thanks!
Click to expand...
 
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Hermione:
Hello everyone,

I don’t want to sin against the 4th Commandment, but I don’t quite know what’s required of me by this Commandment.

Right now I am being financially supported by my parents, so I owe them obedience. I understand this as doing things they ask me to do assuming it’s not dangerous for my health, immoral etc.

What about when I become financially independent? I understand that I will owe them support when they are elderly, but will I be obligated to maintain a relationship with them? Will I have any sort of obligation to involve them in any aspects of my life?

Also, do I have any obligation to FEEL a particular way about my parents?

Thanks!
Click to expand...
You don’t have an obligation to FEEL a particular way about your parents, but remember, love and respect are not feelings. They are actions.
 
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moira:
You don’t have an obligation to FEEL a particular way about your parents, but remember, love and respect are not feelings. They are actions.
Click to expand...
I appreciate this thread as I had very indifferent parents and after I became an adult did not have much of a relationship with them. Were they in need, certainly I would have helped and did so when
called upon. But I didn’t have much of a relationship with them as a child and as an adult it didn’t get any closer. My priest helped me quite a bit with this issue as my father died years ago and I wonder if the fact that I don’t think I loved him meant I had violated the fourth commandment. I did respect him and I was grateful for the ‘gifts’ he gave me (genetic). I just didn’t have those warm fuzzy feelings. He said I can still have a relationship with my late father through prayer and can pray for my mom too. Neither of them were/are believers but that doesn’t mean prayer won’t help.

Lisa N
 
Thanks everyone! 🙂

Just how much obedience to I owe my parents. If my father says he thinks I should make food for the family, is this an order I should obey every day? Or can I disregard it for the most part? Or do it occasionally but not most of the time?

What is respect? Is it looking up to the other person?

To be honest I am not very excited about this commandment and I wish I didn’t have duties to my parents. This is definitely the hardest commandment for me.
 
Honoring your parents wishes is a very important commandment. In the OT being subject to a parents wishes is considered a sin offering, a payment to God in reparations for our sins.
Many of the saints greatly respected their parents often submitting to the most menial tasks and chores without hesitation or question.

The only question is if the parents are abusive or give questionable moral advice.

IF you have a strained relationship to your parents, it makes it difficult but you still owe them the respect that is due them, they are still your parents.

Laziness for household chores is no excuse.

wc
 
Once I read some advice that struck a chord - honoring your parents also means never bringing dishonor to them…

As for your situation today - you sound like a typical teen (I know, I was one and now am the mother of one) 🙂 Take it from me, when you get older and are a parent yourself, you will honor your parents even more because you will be amazed how wise they turned out to be. Treat your parents exactly the way you want your daughter to treat you… Today at 40, my mom is one of my dearest friends - dad too. Having parents who love you is a great blessing.
 
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Hermione:
Thanks everyone! 🙂

Just how much obedience to I owe my parents. If my father says he thinks I should make food for the family, is this an order I should obey every day? Or can I disregard it for the most part? Or do it occasionally but not most of the time?

What is respect? Is it looking up to the other person?

To be honest I am not very excited about this commandment and I wish I didn’t have duties to my parents. This is definitely the hardest commandment for me.
Click to expand...
At this point I wish my parents were still around so I could serve them. We are only here for a short time, cherish the time you have with your parents. IF you have been blessed with loving parents, you need to be as obedient to them as possible.

Look at Jesus, He is God, and he obeyed Mary and Joseph, two mere mortals.

It is okay to negotiate with your parents, if you feel making dinner or lunch all the time is too much of a burden, decide between you what is fair. However if they feel that is your responsibility as your share of hosusehold duties, that is their decision to make.

Parents are more reasonable than you think, at least most are.

wc
 
I am happy to see that there are other people who wonder about this. This is the hardest thing for me, as I have to question sometimes what is best for me.
There are times that I feel so quilty because I am going against what my mom says even though it is the best thing.
Good Luck! If you are having a lot of problems with it you can find someone to talk to about it, that has a very good understanding of it.
Kat
 
I have a lot of guilt over my own duties to my mom. She was and is and emotional abusive person. If you look up Narcistic Personality Disorder on the web, you will get a very strong description of her. Up until this point I have shown respect by just pacifying her, but lately her abusive tirades have been directed against my sons. SO now I am faced with the decision to break off relations with her in order to protect my kids. It is very difficult, but I still pray for her.

THe origianl poster should just be thankful that she has a normal, stable family. (At least I am presuming that she does)
 
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