B
bfree1216
Guest
Hi everyone,
I’ve been struggling with one aspect of prayer recently that has me in a mental clutter. I feel like we are told to keep God on the mind at all times by priests, saints, and Catholic mystics alike. In practice however, I find that keeping God on my mind draws me entirely out of the present moment. I feel spacey, slow to answer my friends and colleagues, and simply disconnected from the world around me in a negative way.
I began to try to counteract this in ways that at the time, I didn’t realize were counter-intuitive: specifically ditching meditation on God and focusing on mindfulness (not in the good, God-centered way). Mindfulness was amazing in helping me solve the initial problem: I felt as if I could truly act as Christ and focus on the people around me rather than on God. This mindfulness, however, also led me to myself, and I felt pride rather than gratefulness for God.
Then, in trying to combine these two, I accidentally found myself engaged in pantheism. Pantheism helped me view God ~as~ everything, but then I realized that this wasn’t in accordance with Catholic doctrine.
Then, I tried viewing God through the lens of panentheism—still helped me maintain some sense of a creator God, but after consulting a Catholic theology professor at my university, I realized this wasn’t in accordance with Catholic doctrine either.
Now I’m back at this entirely dualistic viewpoint of Catholicism, and I’m stuck. Dualism is obviously Catholic doctrine that can’t be refuted, but viewing God as distinct from what’s going on around me forces me to decide if I’m going to focus on God and abandon being attentive to those around me, focus on the world around me and abandon focusing on God, or simply hurt my brain trying to focus on both at the same time
I’d appreciate your insights, and how to avoid absent-mindedness while avoiding New Age or Eastern spirituality! Thanks in advance!
(cross-posted to r/Catholicism)
I’ve been struggling with one aspect of prayer recently that has me in a mental clutter. I feel like we are told to keep God on the mind at all times by priests, saints, and Catholic mystics alike. In practice however, I find that keeping God on my mind draws me entirely out of the present moment. I feel spacey, slow to answer my friends and colleagues, and simply disconnected from the world around me in a negative way.
I began to try to counteract this in ways that at the time, I didn’t realize were counter-intuitive: specifically ditching meditation on God and focusing on mindfulness (not in the good, God-centered way). Mindfulness was amazing in helping me solve the initial problem: I felt as if I could truly act as Christ and focus on the people around me rather than on God. This mindfulness, however, also led me to myself, and I felt pride rather than gratefulness for God.
Then, in trying to combine these two, I accidentally found myself engaged in pantheism. Pantheism helped me view God ~as~ everything, but then I realized that this wasn’t in accordance with Catholic doctrine.
Then, I tried viewing God through the lens of panentheism—still helped me maintain some sense of a creator God, but after consulting a Catholic theology professor at my university, I realized this wasn’t in accordance with Catholic doctrine either.
Now I’m back at this entirely dualistic viewpoint of Catholicism, and I’m stuck. Dualism is obviously Catholic doctrine that can’t be refuted, but viewing God as distinct from what’s going on around me forces me to decide if I’m going to focus on God and abandon being attentive to those around me, focus on the world around me and abandon focusing on God, or simply hurt my brain trying to focus on both at the same time
I’d appreciate your insights, and how to avoid absent-mindedness while avoiding New Age or Eastern spirituality! Thanks in advance!
(cross-posted to r/Catholicism)