Kids summer camp

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Belgianteacher

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Hey,

This is my first post ever. This summer my son (age 8) will go on a long summer camp with his scouting group. He has done this before but this year it will be the first time that camp is more than a week. This would result in him missing Mass on one Sunday.
I’m troubled about this and would like to have your opinion. Is it ok to send him to camp or should I keep him home?

kind regards
 
Talk to your pastor and the camp director.

Find out if the camp can make arrangements for your son to attend mass. If not, talk to your pastor about a dispensation for your son.

Then talk to your son about the importance of mass even when on vacation and that when we have a conflict sometimes our priest can give us permission and waive our obligation.
 
If at all possible, have your son with you when you speak to the pastor. This will make more of an impression on his heart than mom saying “I emailed Fr Smith and you can miss mass”.
 
Yes, or even have your son ask Father himself. I worked at a summer camp one year and it was very common for parents to come by for their kids on Sunday to go to church.
 
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Yep. He is your kid. And you can take him to Mass if you wish. Personally I wouldn’t let a scouting organization take priority over the Church. Especially if as an organization it seems to be moving away from the church.
 
Hoosier-Daddy said:
Personally I wouldn’t let a scouting organization take priority over the Church
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Your post implies you would keep your kid home from the scouting trip so he won’t miss mass. This might be a great way to lead your kid to start hating mass at the ripe old age of 8. Nothing wrong with missing if a dispensation is obtained. That is the route I would go.
 
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Sure. You could get a dispensation or you could follow another organization that gave real food. You could go camping with the “boy” scouts or you could receive the Lord God. You know, there was a time scouting would have encouraged Mass or Church attendance over a camp. And then there’s our brethren from other faiths whom I’m sure the scouting community would excuse for religious observances. I always get the impression Muslim people dont struggle with these issues as much. And we have God himself!!!
 
But we are talking about an 8 year old boy here. He’s not concerned with all of that stuff you mentioned. If you make him miss
10 day camping trip just so he won’t miss Mass on one of those 10 days, I think you’re setting him up to really hate the Church. Or at least Mass. I think it is understandable. Remember back to when you were eight years old. It seems a little extreme, to expect that, especially when it’s not necessary.
 
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I have had many Muslim children opt out of 5th grade camp, citing religious observances and we would be happy to do nearly anything within reason for them to be allowed to participate.
 
I cant imagine your position. As a parent of multiple children I can assure you that an 8 year old can and will care about the stuff you mention. They are eligible to receive, have received instruction and if it was Good instruction it covered why Mass attendance is more than just a box to check or something that interferes with a fun experience. An 8 year old can and does sin, and 8 year old can and have does holy holy things. All that being said its OUR job as parents to instill the faith in our children. It’s OUR Sunday privilege to be with OUR Lord the burden of obedience and example clearly falls on the parents here. Tip toeing around Mass to not upset an 8 year old would be inconceivable in my house. We go to Mass because we are FREE to do so. We are not threatened with death, starvation, poverty, or persecution. We give our allegiance to the faith, to God alone. Not a scout troop. And that is the example we set for our Children as responsible parents. Rebellion or not, agreement or not, that is our RESPONSIBILITY as Catholics.

That being said, yes, dispensations CAN and ARE given. As they should be. The law should not be rigid that people live in shame and fear. But honestly, if we think about the choice here it is almost ridiculous.

Surely you aren’t saying that a parent would be making a mistake to decide to take the Child to Mass right?

But it was interesting, your wording. “If you make him miss Mass” That is exactly my point. Perhaps the average 8 year old would be theologically immature to be “upset” about that, but you perhaps inadvertently made a great point. We should not MAKE a person we are the Charge of spiritually miss Mass. Especially a child!
 
We are all entitled to our opinions. I would be very interested to have someone check back in 10 years and let us know how their now 18 year old feels about the church if they are raised in such a rigid environment.

A dispensation is perfectly in order for this scenario being discussed.
 
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It isn’t really rigid if you are consistent. All of my Children (6 soon to be 7) do not even view it as rigid. Its just done. Now true, we home-school and use Catholic curriculum so they grow up with saints and examples of why they should want to go to Mass. And though kids of many ages can and do get bored at Mass, none of my kids have ever expressed a desire to not go. (not that it would really matter and they probably know that) but my girls love getting dressed up for Mass every week. I’m always amused at those who think that structure and rules especially with quality explanation makes people rebel. As if a permissive attitude compels more obedience later. Families on all sides of the parenting spectrum have kids fall away. Perhaps in our family, because it is large, we have less of the issues that smaller ones have. The duckling effect causes kids to fall in line, literally and figuratively. It’s why when leaving a park I say "get in the car it is time to go, and they all do it immediately. While the parent next to me has a hard time with one child. I don’t know. And honestly an 18 year old in College better have something to fall back on in the realm of structure or there will be no hope! I’m no Pollyanna about the future and my children, but I will not be plagued by guilt whatever their future holds, because I am living my vocation as their parent. With all the responsibilities that entails given to me by God.

The tooth brush argument here is also applicable. You have heard of the toothbrush argument. That a child may not want to go to Mass but we do it anyway? Like a child may not want to brush teeth but we do it anyway. Nowhere in that argument is a parent who thinks making a child brush teeth leads to rebellion and tooth decay later right? Well apply that to the camp. I’ll bet the 8 year old packs a toothbrush…
 
I think it is all about being reasonable. It may be reasonable to have your child miss a birthday party on one day because they have to go to mass instead. To keep a child away from a 10-day camping trip so they can go to mass on one of those 10 days, seems very unreasonable to me. Kids understand what’s reasonable and what’s not, even at the young age of eight. How will this play out as they mature and grow? Will they never be able to go on an extended trip if it means they will miss mass? Again, if so, that it is unreasonable. At least to me.

Apparently, the church agrees with me. Otherwise they would not have dispensations as a possibility. At my church, the priest is reasonable and understands religion is not the only component of healthy growth and development for a child. Experiences also matter. Like camping trips.
 
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I think the Church agrees with both of us. I would point out that a dispensation us not automatic. It must be given. Which means the Church errs on the conservative side here. A whole other debate is the resposibleness of a ten day camping trip for 8 year olds at all! Especially as a catholic or scout on this climate!
 
Catholics 8yos can’t go to camp now? I didn’t catch that edict! If your kids are so perfectly trained, why wouldn’t you expect them to act right at a camp for 10 days. I went to summer camp at the age of 8 and I don’t recall any degenerate behavior until I went to camp at the age of 13.
 
IMHO, as a parent. If the kid wants to go, I personally would let him.

We just got back from a hockey tournament on Sunday where we were gone for 4 days. The 10 yr old had a blast and got to play against kids from the other side of the country. I’m glad he got the opportunity to be with his friends in such an environment.
 
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