Kim Kardashian/How do you educate a young girl

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Anyone heard the latest drama online? Kim posted a naked picture which led a young actress to tweet her that she should be teaching young girls to set important goals (basically do not use your body for attention). This led Kim to attack her by basically saying that the actress is not famous. And of course, a bunch of “feminists” started attacking people who believe that a mother of two (or anyone actually) should not post naked pictures.

Of course the point of the thread is not to gossip but to ask parents a question: how do you teach your daughter the right way? We all know society is going to influence young kids. How do you teach your child that modesty should be empowering, not nudity. Society thinks that by showing skin, it means you are an empowered woman, you are confident in your body, etc. Now, being empowered and confident is great, but I certainly don’t think nudity is the way to go. (Seems like everyone wants to go and live in the garden of eden, to be naked without shame. Don’t they know it’s impossible because there is sin)

The reason why I’m asking this is because I have a younger sister, she’s about 11. Now this is usually a mom’s job but my mother died years ago and I know my brothers or my dad are not going to teach her certain stuff. I’m just shocked at how people think society are the ones sexualising naked bodies. I do think that women are sexualised of course, but to say that the naked body is sexualised seems like a stretch.

Anyway, any tips to explain to a young girl how to dress with self respect will be most welcome. (Idk how to explain to a young child without sounding like one of those people that act like the woman is 100% responsible for a man’s lust) She already thinks cleavage is fine bc everyone else dresses like that. Lol 😦
 
Lea101 said:
Anyone heard the latest drama online? Kim posted a naked picture which led a young actress to tweet her that she should be teaching young girls to set important goals (basically do not use your body for attention). This led Kim to attack her by basically saying that the actress is not famous. And of course, a bunch of “feminists” started attacking people who believe that a mother of two (or anyone actually) should not post naked pictures.

Of course the point of the thread is not to gossip but to ask parents a question: how do you teach your daughter the right way? We all know society is going to influence young kids. How do you teach your child that modesty should be empowering, not nudity. Society thinks that by showing skin, it means you are an empowered woman, you are confident in your body, etc. Now, being empowered and confident is great, but I certainly don’t think nudity is the way to go. (Seems like everyone wants to go and live in the garden of eden, to be naked without shame. Don’t they know it’s impossible because there is sin) ***

The reason why I’m asking this is because I have a younger sister, she’s about 11. Now this is usually a mom’s job but my mother died years ago ***and I know my brothers or my dad are not going to teach her certain stuff. I’m just shocked at how people think society are the ones sexualising naked bodies. I do think that women are sexualised of course, but to say that the naked body is sexualised seems like a stretch.

Anyway, any tips to explain to a young girl how to dress with self respect will be most welcome. (Idk how to explain to a young child without sounding like one of those people that act like the woman is 100% responsible for a man’s lust) She already thinks cleavage is fine bc everyone else dresses like that. Lol 😦
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Hi Lea!
God bless you for stepping in and trying to help your sister understand about modesty!

I teach my daughters that modesty is important-and I also teach them the definition of what’s modest (or not) is set by the culture around us. For instance, in some cultures, my daughters and I would be considered immodest because we don’t wear headscarves. We also show our ankles, our shoulders and occasionally our knees. :eek: I say that because when we teach modesty, we have to put it in perspective.

Time and place is important for modesty. What passes for modest at the beach may not be appropriate other places. Leotards and tight fitting clothing is fine for dance and exercise, but in other setting tight fitting clothes can be immodest. Nudity is appropriate in the shower. Remember that everyone is undressed at some time or another–the trick is wearing the proper amount of clothing for the situation.

To understand modesty, one needs to also have a general comprehension about what’s appropriate and what isn’t. Since a celebrity’s photos prompted you to ask this question, I suggest beyond just discussing modesty,** discuss photography**. Cameras are now found everywhere. Encourage her to use caution when taking and sharing photos. Even if dressed modest for the occasion, some photos still look immodest or suggestive–and therefore shouldn’t be saved or posted on the internet.

It’s perfectly appropriate to be undressed when changing outfits, showering or getting ready for bed. What is inappropriate is taking a photo of those things. Teach camera caution.
 
I tell my kids, “If you are ever on the cover of a magazine, it should be because you’ve cured cancer.”
 
Every time I see a photo of the Kim Kardashian, I am reminded of the song "Generation Sex’ by The Divine Comedy:

“Generation Sex respects the rights of girls who want to take their clothes off: as long as we can all watch, that’s okay!”

(Fear not - the song is an ironic take on a self-obsessed society and is actually very good)

The best thing you can do for your sister is to be a role model and let her see that you can go out, have fun and enjoy yourself with friends who value you because of who you are and not what you look like or what you have.

If you can steer her towards choosing a wise, caring and fun group of friends and encourage her to take up activities where girls are encouraged to learn team-playing skills and appreciate the importance of a healthy body - and that healthy bodies come in several builds and sizes - then I’m sure she will learn to make sensible choices about her own life.

Are there any female role models that you have found inspirational? Maybe you could spend some time telling her why you admire them and ask her who she admires, so you get a discussion going: nothing too heavy, just a way of encouraging her to see that there are lots of role models out there who don’t feel the need to show off their bodies. I don’t recall Mother Teresa ever trying to ‘break the internet’ to draw attention to her work!
 
Kim Kardashian is famous for being a pornographic actress. Her body is her currency, her livelihood. I’m not sure why it would be surprising to anyone that she has to pose nude to earn a living. I know I’m not. I don’t know what I will tell my girls about sex workers when the time comes but for now I’m happy to ensure that they are not exposed to that type of media.
 
Burt_Macklin said:
Kim Kardashian is famous for being a pornographic actress. Her body is her currency, her livelihood. I’m not sure why it would be surprising to anyone that she has to pose nude to earn a living. I know I’m not. I don’t know what I will tell my girls about sex workers when the time comes but for now I’m happy to ensure that they are not exposed to that type of media.
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You must not spend a lot of time at the grocery store…

(Although, to be fair, there usually isn’t a lot on the covers about KK’s core competency. The other checkstand headlines usually aren’t very edifying, though. Cosmo normally has the cover story titles covered at our grocery store, thanks be to God–otherwise we’d have to have a lot more conversations about what “your best orgasm” means.)
 
Dacinom said:
God bless you for being concerned, and for being a good older sister!

I am so sorry that you lost your mother, that must have been hard, please be assured of my prayers.

While you can certainly be a good influence on your sister, I URGE you to have a conversation with your father at once. Don’t underestimate the influence of a father on an 11-year-old girl. A father’s influence is powerful. Also, he (presumably) controls the family finances and approves what clothing she is allowed to purchase. My husband wouldn’t hesitate for a second to tell my daughter’s not to wear a short skirt and that they needed to change clothes. Tell your father that your younger sister is reading about Kim Kardashian, he needs to know! He can tell your sister this woman is a horrible influence and that your sister’s body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. Maybe your father hasn’t stepped in much, but give him a chance. Even if he says just a little bit to her it could have a huge impact.
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My dad tries his best, I suppose. He does buy her a couple of dresses (like they are wayy too big for her because she is curvy) but she hates them. My mom used to tease him because he has horrible taste in clothes too 😃 I would love for him to step in but honestly, he is not really a fantastic rolemodel (coming home late, drunk) and he is so clueless with the media, so he doesn’t know who is Kim, and he basically told me to take care of the “sex talk” or basically something like that. It’s such a challenge honestly, idk how parents do it. You all deserve an award!

And thanks for the concern with my mother, it means a lot 🙂
 
Lea101 said:
My dad tries his best, I suppose. He does buy her a couple of dresses (like they are wayy too big for her because she is curvy) but she hates them. My mom used to tease him because he has horrible taste in clothes too 😃 I would love for him to step in but honestly, he is not really a fantastic rolemodel (coming home late, drunk) and he is so clueless with the media, so he doesn’t know who is Kim, and he basically told me to take care of the “sex talk” or basically something like that. It’s such a challenge honestly, idk how parents do it. You all deserve an award!

And thanks for the concern with my mother, it means a lot 🙂
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My prayers are with you.

I recommend charity products from Jason Everett. You can buy CDs/mp3s from Lighthouse Catholic Media. Also his book on Theology of the Body for teens is great and popular.

Finally, I strongly recommend the new FORMED.org. It’s like a “Catholic Netflix.” Parishes can buy a subscription for everyone in the parish or individuals can buy one for $9.99 per month (though the parish subscription is better)

God Bless
 
In addition to the excellent advice you’ve received in this thread, I’d also remind your sister that Kim Kardashian and her whole family are essentially famous for being famous. She and her mother and sisters are known for being beautiful, dressing well and being involved with famous men, not for their brains or their courage or their skills or their kindness. Tell her that a life of virtue may not be glamorous, but if you look at how many celebrities have wrecked (or ended) their lives with drugs and alcohol, clearly the glamorous life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

There are lots of young women who are famous for positive things, like Venus and Serena Williams, the US women’s gymnastics team, Adele, or Malala Yousafzai. Point these young women out to her, both as part of a conversation about KK and whenever you see one of them in the news. I’d highly recommend you get Malala’s book for your sister; it’s such an inspiring story of how to face up to evil.

Good luck! You and she are in my prayers!
 
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