Last Rites Questions

[whichwaytogo47]

My father entered hospice six weeks ago and I have been unable to visit since July 31st when he entered. My brother who is a fallen away Catholic but whom believes in God visits dad. I went to my two childhood churches, one of which we were baptized and the other we were confirmed. I was the behavior problem that got us to go to the other church from St Mary’s to St Anne’s in the same town. They stated since there was a chaplain that they didn’t want to risk getting COVID, but the Chaplain giving last rites / annointing of the sick is not Catholic. My father is atheist / agnostic.

The hospital sent a chaplain and the hospice that goes into the Catholic nursing home sent in a chaplain that does rounds. Because the chaplains were female, I suspect they’re not Catholic - they are either Episcopal or call themselves of the apolistic tradition but in some way Protestant. Should I feel like I betrayed my dad in some way? My uncle who died also had a female chaplain but he was married in the Anglican church.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Can you ask the Hospice if they can have a Catholic chaplain either visit or somehow virtually bless your father? Sometimes hospices have priests or deacons they can call, who know how to handle these things.

If the hospice will not help you, or your father has already passed, then you can be at peace knowing you tried to do all you could.

I feel for you. I have a Catholic elderly person in a nursing home with COVID right now, she is not well and may pass away at any time, and I can’t visit her as the nursing home has been shut down to visitors to months due to COVID. I tried to get the hospice to send a priest to anoint her. The priest could not go into the building and was only able to do a “Virtual Anointing”, he probably did it over Facetime or maybe through the building window. I was fortunate to even be able to get that. But I’ve done all I can do.

 

[whichwaytogo47]

I feel for you. I have a Catholic elderly person in a nursing home with COVID right now, she is not well and may pass away at any time, and I can’t visit her as the nursing home has been shut down to visitors to months due to COVID. I tried to get the hospice to send a priest to anoint her. The priest could not go into the building and was only able to do a “Virtual Anointing”, he probably did it over Facetime or maybe through the building window. I was fortunate to even be able to get that. But I’ve done all I can do.

Hugs. I agree. My dad had COVID back in July but had "recovered’ from COVID, though his fall might have been related. I agree that you did everything you could do.

 

[Vico]

… My father is atheist / agnostic. …

There could be a blessing, but the Catholic Sacrament of Anointing of the Sick is restricted.

CIC

Can. 1004 §1. The anointing of the sick can be administered to a member of the faithful who, having reached the use of reason, begins to be in danger due to sickness or old age.
…
Can. 1007 The anointing of the sick is not to be conferred upon those who persevere obstinately in manifest grave sin.

 

[whichwaytogo47]

I believe that mental illness played a role in him being an agnostic. And I have hope that he may believe.

 

[Vico]

I believe that mental illness played a role in him being an agnostic. And I have hope that he may believe.

So for that CIC Canon applies:

Can. 1006 This sacrament is to be conferred on the sick who at least implicitly requested it when they were in control of their faculties.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

The whole thing is sad in many ways, but the blessing is that the person has dementia and really is not aware of what’s going on.
Also, when she was in her right mind, she prayed and went to Mass her whole life and never to my knowledge did anything untoward.
So I am quite sure the Lord will provide for whatever was lacking in her last sacraments.

 

[felsguy]

The hospital sent a chaplain and the hospice that goes into the Catholic nursing home sent in a chaplain that does rounds. Because the chaplains were female, I suspect they’re not Catholic - they are either Episcopal or call themselves of the apolistic tradition but in some way Protestant. Should I feel like I betrayed my dad in some way? My uncle who died also had a female chaplain but he was married in the Anglican church.

Given that your father most likely could not receive the Last Rites anyhow, perhaps you can take comfort that those who did visit him certainly would have prayed over and for him.

I would point out also that there are female Catholic chaplains in some places. A wonderful, devout, and trained Catholic young lady was a full-time member of the chaplaincy staff who frequently visited and prayed with my late wife for the several months she was in a hospital run by an order of Catholic nuns. Her quiet presence was very comforting and she remains a great friend. Perhaps one of the female chaplains who visited your father also was Catholic given that you mention there was some association with a Catholic facility.

 

[whichwaytogo47]

I would point out also that there are female Catholic chaplains in some places. A wonderful, devout, and trained Catholic young lady was a full-time member of the chaplaincy staff who frequently visited and prayed with my late wife for the several months she was in a hospital run by an order of Catholic nuns. Her quiet presence was very comforting and she remains a great friend. Perhaps one of the female chaplains who visited your father also was Catholic given that you mention there was some association with a Catholic facility.

That provides me a good answer. I thought that only males could be chaplains or that you had to be a priest to be a chaplain. I may have assumed wrong. The nursing home may have been surprised by my nervousness. I was just worried that my dad was not truly getting anointing of the sick believing that because the chaplain was female that meant the person was not Catholic. My father was a fall-away Catholic - don’t know when in my childhood, he stopped going to church.

 

[Elf01]

I was just worried that my dad was not truly getting anointing of the sick believing that because the chaplain was female that meant the person was not Catholic.

Sorry to say, that concern is valid. Only a priest can administer the annointing of the sick.

I assume that a Catholic chaplin would call a priest though.

 

[whichwaytogo47]

Sorry to say, that concern is valid. Only a priest can administer the annointing of the sick.

I assume that a Catholic chaplin would call a priest though.

I’m under the assumption that the chaplain has not called the priest.

I do appreciate the feedback / concerns.

 

[JanR]

Under the circumstances, I would think that to be sufficient. God doesn’t want us to deliberately put ourselves into jeopardy, and I’m pretty sure He understands.

 

[felsguy]

felsguy:

I would point out also that there are female Catholic chaplains in some places. A wonderful, devout, and trained Catholic young lady was a full-time member of the chaplaincy staff who frequently visited and prayed with my late wife for the several months she was in a hospital run by an order of Catholic nuns. Her quiet presence was very comforting and she remains a great friend. Perhaps one of the female chaplains who visited your father also was Catholic given that you mention there was some association with a Catholic facility.

That provides me a good answer. I thought that only males could be chaplains or that you had to be a priest to be a chaplain. I may have assumed wrong. The nursing home may have been surprised by my nervousness. I was just worried that my dad was not truly getting anointing of the sick believing that because the chaplain was female that meant the person was not Catholic. My father was a fall-away Catholic - don’t know when in my childhood, he stopped going to church.

I apologize for any confusion I may have caused by neglecting to mention that only a priest can administer the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick.

Under the circumstances, I would think that to be sufficient. God doesn’t want us to deliberately put ourselves into jeopardy, and I’m pretty sure He understands.

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