Latin Hymn - Christus nos Lumen

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hartleymartin

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Please, Latin experts around here take a look at this hymn. It should be rather familiar. I have been playing around with online Latin translators in an attempt to create something beautiful:

Please have a go at translating it and telling me if the grammar is any good for a hymn!

I. Exspectantes tenebras lucem.
Nos vobis in spe.
Fac tuis, et plebs tua sancta,
Mundo lux videre.

Refrain:
Christus nos lumen
In cordibus nostris
Illumina tenebras
Christus nos lumen
ecclesiae vestrae collecta

II. Venia pax turbata mundus.
Desperatio spei multis desunt
Tantum tu sermo salva nos.
Fac vivas vocis.

III. Venia cibus esurienti multi
Venia aqua multa sitiunt.
Panem tuum fac aliis fracta
Pascere omnes

IV. Venia tuta multi profugi.
Venia calor frigore multi.
Fac tua tecta aedes aliis
Muris vivo saxo.

V. Multa munera multa populo
multi cupiant corda pertinere.
Serviamus invicem ut
Adveniat regnum tuum.
 
Barbkw said:
Harley,

What does the hymn say in English?
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Looks like it is intended to translate “Christ Be Our Light”, but there are plenty of grammatical errors (not just poetic/translator license) – More than I have time to enumerate at this time (apologies).

tee
 
tee_eff_em said:
Looks like it is intended to translate “Christ Be Our Light”, but there are plenty of grammatical errors (not just poetic/translator license) – More than I have time to enumerate at this time (apologies).

tee
Click to expand...
Many grammatical errors indeed. As I’m trying to read it, I wonder who wrote it. Or maybe the original wasn’t in Latin but translated from another language. Certainly isn’t as well written as Tantum Ergo or O Salutaris Hostia, for example.

I’ll take back my earlier comment on it sounding just fine in the “Latin,” or words to that effect.
 
tee_eff_em said:
Looks like it is intended to translate “Christ Be Our Light”, but there are plenty of grammatical errors (not just poetic/translator license) – More than I have time to enumerate at this time (apologies).

tee
Click to expand...
Unfortunately, I have to agree. Moreover, the work suffers from being, basically, just a mechanical translation of a poem into blank verse with no apparent attempt at recreating meter, flow, poetic stress patterns, etc. The effort is impressive, but it serves to illustrate the very high difficulty of the task.

I’m happy to try to answer any specific questions, of course.
 
I’m not going to claim any talents, I spent a lot of time playing around with translation software. However, I knew that it was never going to get done properly.

It is indeed intended to be a Latin version of “Christ be Our Light”. I have been able to sing the above translation to the original melody.
 
hartleymartin said:
I’m not going to claim any talents, I spent a lot of time playing around with translation software. However, I knew that it was never going to get done properly.

It is indeed intended to be a Latin version of “Christ be Our Light”. I have been able to sing the above translation to the original melody.
Click to expand...
Just my opinion: it is a good try at the translation. You capture most of the meaning. However, if you haven’t noticed we tend to be much, much stricter with the Latin grammar than the English grammar nowadays, especially in music. :mad: I don’t know why that is but est quod est.
 
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