Lay Blessings

[Wilhelm_Stoever]

is it permissable for a layman to make the sign of the Cross over a tombstone and say," May they rest in peace" or “Eternal rest grant unto them O, Lord”. or something like that?

 

[benedictgal]

is it permissable for a layman to make the sign of the Cross over a tombstone and say," May they rest in peace" or “Eternal rest grant unto them O, Lord”. or something like that?

What is the context? The document Ecclesiae de Mysterio is very clear about what shoudl be done at funerals where th elaity are assisting:

Leading the Celebration at Funerals
In the present circumstances of growing dechristianization and of abandonment of religious practice, death and the time of obsequies can be one of the most opportune pastoral moments in which the ordained minister can meet with the non-practicing members of the faithful.

It is thus desirable that Priests and Deacons, even at some sacrifice to themselves, should preside personally at funeral rites in accordance with local custom, so as to pray for the dead and be close to their families, thus availing of an opportunity for appropriate evangelization.

The non-ordained faithful may lead the ecclesiastical obsequies provided that there is a true absence of sacred ministers and that they adhere to the prescribed liturgical norms. (111) Those so deputed should be well prepared both doctrinally and liturgically.

However, it does not say that the laity can make the sign of the cross over a grave in the manner that a member of the clergy (deacon, priest or bishop) could do.

 

[Wilhelm_Stoever]

My question did not relate to funeral rites, but to just visiting a cemertery and praying for the dead and making a sign of the Cross over a gravestone. and saying “May they rest in peace” or “Eternal rest grant unto them O, Lord”.

 

[benedictgal]

My question did not relate to funeral rites, but to just visiting a cemertery and praying for the dead and making a sign of the Cross over a gravestone. and saying “May they rest in peace” or “Eternal rest grant unto them O, Lord”.

While I don’t have the Book of Blessings with me, what I do whenever I go and visit my mother’s grave (and my maternal grandparents, buried a few yards away) is to say the “eternal rest” prayer and make the sign of the cross over myself.

If I want her grave blessed, I will ask my PV to do so during All Souls Day (he’s done that on numerous occasions) or one of the deacons who is usually there that day blessing graves.

It is certainly a holy and pious thing to pray for the deceased, and I believe that there is a special plenary indulgence applied to them (might be done if prayed at the grave), but, as far as making the sign of the cross over the grave, it’s not a very good idea.

 

[FrDavid96]

is it permissable for a layman to make the sign of the Cross over a tombstone and say," May they rest in peace" or “Eternal rest grant unto them O, Lord”. or something like that?

Yes, not only is there nothing wrong with it, but it would be a good thing.

It wouldn’t be a “blessing” though, it would be a prayer.

My only hesitation is when you say “make the sign of the cross.” This can get very subtle. If you cross yourself, or trace a cross on the stone or something like that then it is a good thing indeed. If however you’re doing what a priest would do if he blessed the grave (like using the gesture that a priest uses at the end of Mass) that would be different.

 

[PatrickJT914]

Why not? I love my Mom and Grandparents still even into death. My Mom more recently (7 June 2007) Every time I visit her in the cemetery I make the sign of the cross on the grave near the headstone (because she can’t anymore). Then I’ve alternated with the Rosary, Chaplet of Divine Mercy, the big 3 prayers (Our Father, Hail Mary and Glory Be) followed sometimes by the Prayer for the Dead. I would do it for my Grandparents as well, unfortunately I don’t have a car to reach their graves.

I know you are asking a legitimate question. However, I’m a little upset that such a question is even asked. I say SO WHAT! It’s not really that different from our parents blessing us. Only it’s reversed, I’m doing it out of love. I really get annoyed when Ultra-trads get so stuck on legalism. In the long run when we face Jesus in heaven. What do you think he’ll ask us us? Whether how much legalism did we follow on earth? Or, will he ask us how loving we were? I believe Jesus was quite clear in scriptures on loving others. Doing for the least of His.

In one of Peter’s letters, he said " that we were a royal priesthood" In that we offer up sacrifices, make blessings, pray for intentions. That of course we are not ordained to the sacramental priesthood. But one of the laity. So in risk of being defiant for the sake of love for my Mom. I WILL continue to do this. I do not care for others opinion. If the scriptures, St. Peter say it’s okay, then it’s okay.

Disclaimer and apology- I vented a little too much. I still hurt at the loss of my Mom. I didn’t mean to be defensive. The question is a good question.

 

[benedictgal]

Yes, not only is there nothing wrong with it, but it would be a good thing.

It wouldn’t be a “blessing” though, it would be a prayer.

My only hesitation is when you say “make the sign of the cross.” This can get very subtle. If you cross yourself, or trace a cross on the stone or something like that then it is a good thing indeed. If however you’re doing what a priest would do if he blessed the grave (like using the gesture that a priest uses at the end of Mass) that would be different.

Thank you for the clarification, Fr. David. I may just do what you suggested when I go visit my mother’s grave tomorrow. I just make the sign of the cross over myself after I pray for her. I was thinking along the same lines as you were regarding the gesture that the priest makes at the end of Mass that is why I was leery of it to that end.

As I said in my original reply, I try to make the effort on All Souls Day to have my mother’s grave blessed either by my Parochial Vicar or by an available deacon. When either of them does this, they will obviously use the gestures that are proper to them. I get picked on a lot because I visit my mother’s grave a great deal. I am an only child and, even after 15 years, her death still hurts. My father goes every day and he prays for her as well.

In regard to the matter of “royal priesthood”, we have to remember that there are things that are proper to the “ministerial priesthood”, to which St. Peter, the Apostles and their successors belonged. There is a fine line as to what we, as the laity can do versus what the deacon, priest and bishop can do. That is why when the question of blessings pops up, it’s like a red flag.

 

[Wilhelm_Stoever]

hmm… very interesting, I should read up on indulgences.
out of curiosity, if someone did imitate the priests blessing motions, what type and gravity of a sin would it be?

 

[benedictgal]

This is what Ecclesiae de Mysterio says regarding the Ministerial Priesthood and its relationship to the laity:

1. The Common Priesthood of the Faithful and the Ministerial Priesthood
   Jesus Christ, the Eternal High Priest, wished that His one and indivisible priesthood be transmitted to His Church. This Church is the people of the New Covenant who, “through Baptism and the anointing of the Holy Spirit are reborn and consecrated as a spiritual temple and a holy priesthood. By living the Christian life, they offer up spiritual sacrifices and proclaim the prodigious deeds of Him who called them from darkness into His own wonderful light (cf. 1 Pt 2, 4-10)”.(19) “There is but one chosen People of God: ‘one Lord, one faith, one Baptism’ (Eph 4, 5): there is a common dignity of members deriving from their rebirth in Christ, a common grace of filial adoption, a common vocation to perfection”.(20) There exists “a true equality between all with regard to the dignity and to the activity which is common to all the faithful in the building up of the Body of Christ”. By the will of Christ some are constituted “teachers, dispensers of the mysteries and pastors”.(21) The common priesthood of the faithful and the ministerial or hierarchical priesthood “though they differ essentially and not only in degree … are none the less ordered one to another; (since) each in its own proper way shares in the one priesthood of Christ”.(22) Between both there is an effective unity since the Holy Spirit makes the Church one in communion, in service and in the outpouring of the diverse hierarchical and charismatic gifts.(23)

Thus the essential difference between the common priesthood of the faithful and the ministerial priesthood is not found in the priesthood of Christ, which remains forever one and indivisible, nor in the sanctity to which all of the faithful are called: “Indeed the ministerial priesthood does not of itself signify a greater degree of holiness with regard to the common priesthood of the faithful; through it, Christ gives to priests, in the Spirit, a particular gift so that they can help the People of God to exercise faithfully and fully the common priesthood which it has received”.(24) For the building up of the Church, the Body of Christ, there is a diversity of members and functions but only one Spirit who, for the good of the Church, distributes His various gifts with munificence proportionate to His riches and the needs of service (cf. I Cor 12, 1-11).(25)

This diversity exists at the mode of participation in the priesthood of Christ and is essential in the sense that “while the common priesthood of the faithful is exercised by the unfolding of baptismal grace, – a life of faith, hope and charity, a life according to the Spirit – the ministerial priesthood is at the service of the common priesthood … and directed at the unfolding of the baptismal grace of all Christians”.(26) Consequently, the ministerial priesthood “differs in essence from the common priesthood of the faithful because it confers a sacred power for the service of the faithful”(27). For this reason the priest is exhorted “…to grow in awareness of the deep communion uniting him to the People of God” in order to “awaken and deepen co-responsibility in the one common mission of salvation, with a prompt and heartfelt esteem for all the charisms and tasks which the Spirit gives believers for the building up of the Church”.(28)

The characteristics which differentiate the ministerial priesthood of Bishops and Priests from the common priesthood of the faithful and consequently delineate the extent to which other members of the faithful cooperate with this ministry, may be summarized in the following fashion:

a) the ministerial priesthood is rooted in the Apostolic Succession, and vested with “potestas sacra”(29) consisting of the faculty and the responsibility of acting in the person of Christ the Head and the Shepherd.(30)

b) it is a priesthood which renders its sacred ministers servants of Christ and of the Church by means of authoritative proclamation of the Word of God, the administration of the sacraments and the pastoral direction of the faithful.(31)

Succession, because this ministry continues the mission received by the Apostles from Christ, is an essential point of Catholic ecclesiological doctrine.(32)

The ordained ministry, therefore, is established on the foundation of the Apostles for the upbuilding of the Church: (33) “and is completely at the service of the Church”.(34) “Intrinsically linked to the sacramental nature of ecclesial ministry is its character of service. Entirely dependent on Christ who gives mission and authority, ministers are truly ‘servants of Christ’ (Rom 1, 1) in the image of Him who freely took for us ‘the form of a slave’ (Phil 2,7). Because the word and grace of which they are ministers are not their own, but are given to them by Christ for the sake of others, they must freely become the slaves of all”.(35)

I hope that this will help explain the matter a bit better.

 

[benedictgal]

hmm… very interesting, I should read up on indulgences.
out of curiosity, if someone did imitate the priests blessing motions, what type and gravity of a sin would it be?

I don’t know if this section addresses the question you raised, but, this is what Ecclesiae de Mysterio says regarding the role fo the Ministerial Priesthood:

1. Unity and Diversity of Ministerial Functions
   The functions of the ordained minister, taken as a whole, constitute a single indivisible unity in virtue of their singular foundation in Christ.(36) As with Christ,(37) salvific activity is one and unique. It is signified and realized by the minister through the functions of teaching, sanctifying and governing the faithful. This unity essentially defines the exercise of the sacred minister’s functions which are always an exercise, in different ways, of the role of Christ as Head of the Church.

Therefore, since the exercise of the munus docendi, sanctificandi et regendi by the sacred minister constitute the essence of pastoral ministry, the diverse functions proper to ordained ministers form an indivisible unity and cannot be understood if separated, one from the other. Rather they must be viewed in terms of mutual correspondence and complementarity. Only in some of these functions, and to a limited degree, may the non-ordained faithful cooperate with their pastors should they be called to do so by lawful Authority and in accordance with the prescribed manner. “He (Jesus Christ) continually provides in His body, that is, in the Church, for gifts of ministries through which, by His power, we serve each other unto salvation…”(38) “The exercise of such tasks does not make Pastors of the lay faithful, in fact, a person is not a minister simply in performing a task, but through sacramental ordination. Only the Sacrament of Orders gives the ordained minister a particular participation in the office of Christ, the Shepherd and Head in his Eternal Priesthood. The task exercised in virtue of supply takes its legitimacy formally and immediately from the official deputation given by Pastors, as well as from its concrete exercise under the guidance of ecclesiastical authority”.(39)

This doctrine needs to be reaffirmed especially in the light of certain practices which seek to compensate for numerical shortages of ordained ministers arising in some communities. In some instances, such have given rise to an idea of the common priesthood of the faithful which mistakes its nature and specific meaning. Amongst other things, it can encourage a reduction in vocations to the (ministerial) priesthood and obscure the specific purpose of seminaries as places of formation for the ordained ministry. These are closely related phenomena. Their interdependence calls for careful reflection so as to arrive at well considered conclusions in their regard.

I hope this helps.

 

[FrDavid96]

hmm… very interesting, I should read up on indulgences.
out of curiosity, if someone did imitate the priests blessing motions, what type and gravity of a sin would it be?

That’s taking it a little too far. You’re asking about praying for departed loved-ones. That’s a good thing.

As long as you’re not saying to yourself “I’m going to bless this grave, and I’m going to do what a priest would do” (and then don’t do it) then don’t worry yourself about it. Say the prayers. Trace a cross on the stone, or on the earth if that gives you comfort. Praying for the departed is important. Concentrate on that part.

 

[PatrickJT914]

Let me clarify something. When I said I make the Sign of the Cross I do it on the ground. Not the way the ordained ministers make it in the air. Aslo I know that I’m not an ordained priest or deacon. Although truthfully I have considered becoming a priest when I was mostly a young lad. However, being a permanent deacon is sometimes at back of my mind.