It might help to mention where you are (at least country), many lay or third orders are small or localised. That way people can offer solutions tailored to your needs. The Discalced Carmelites are quite well spread out so you should have no problem with them and they do take males. I understand what you mean about females, some Carmelite institutes and in fact other lay institutes are for woman only, especially secular institutes. But there are plenty that are for men only and for both men and woman. I don’t know much about other orders but I believe Caritas Christi and the Dominicans also practice contemplation and I am pretty sure others do to. Hopefully the member the others suggested will come back online and answer your questions soon, but in the meantime look online and read up about some of the saints and see which charism really grabs you… There are a lot of youtube clips on Carmelite spiritualty too. Keep praying, especially adoration, God will show you His path, have no doubt about that. Do remember though, this is all in God’s time. God bless you