A
Augustine
Guest
I’m not sure which words to use to reach out to others for support about this.
Any way, in my early 20s, I was a somewhat devout Catholic, meeting regularly with my spiritual director and trying to remain in good terms with God. Until I met who would become my wife.
Because she was divorced (actually, separated, divorce came later), I ended up distancing myself from the Church for well over 5 years. Until one day when I suggested we go to Mass to thank for my landing a good job. From that day on, we’d go to Mass every now and then. At first, sparsely, later, more frequently, but in no way close to weekly. Later, we started going to another church closer to home. The pastor there conquered both of us and at one point, I’m not quite sure when, we found ourselves going to every Sunday Mass.
Even before we reached this point, some longing for the Church, in particular the sacraments, started to grow in me. I started to want to learn more about the Faith, getting back to spiritual readings as I used to before I met my wife. It wasn’t without great joy when our pastor started teaching “RCIA for Catholics” last week, to which about 200 people showed up (in a 3000-family parish).
Meanwhile, I can’t say that my wife has been as enthusiastic as I have (this is when I suspect I’m being melodramatic). She was baptized Lutheran, but was first married in the Catholic Church. At one point, she wanted badly to get in line to take the Holy Communion, but I advised her that our situation forbade us from doing that. It was in the middle of Mass and I tried to explain to her what’s wrong in our situation that proscribes us from that sacrament. She was very saddened by that and it was probably then that she expressed what sounded to me like a regret to having approached the Church.
She was never raised as a Lutheran. Rather, she was raised as a member of a New Age cult. Perhaps then was when she got a certain distrust for religion in general. Having said this, I have to say that I do this to explain that this journey is perhaps harder for her than for me. She’s got more stumbling blocks than me to go over. Yet, I have to say, all along she’s grown spiritually. Baby-steps, but a baby-step for a baby is something of a Super-Man.
This weekend, after having caught our son with pornography, we all went to Confession, but she didn’t want to. Her first Confession wasn’t all what she expected emotionally, a couple of years ago, so she hasn’t been quite keen on it. As she was reading a guide for examen I used, she was scandalized to see that tying up the tubes was a sin, something we did over a decade ago. Knowing her I knew what was going through her mind: “there goes this Church against common sense again.” Unfortunately, I didn’t have the time to tell her that as we didn’t know that it was wrong we commited any grave sin. But I digress. I only mentioned this event because it’s fresher in my memory. It’s actually one instance among several others like this that I’m afraid add mortar between her stumbling blocks.
If we were alone in this journey, perhaps no one would get hurt. But what leaves me deeply saddened is that it does affect our children. Particularly our 18-year old daughter, I’m afraid. Our 12-year old son is still docile to the Chruch’s teachings, but I’m afraid that some of my wife’s difficulties are rubbing off on our daughter.
I dream about a pious family, yet I’m grateful to the Lord for calling me back and being able to bring along my dearest ones. I can only put my hopes in Him to bring us all close to teh Church, perhaps even giving my wife the courage to start her annulment. For now, I can only pray for it. If only I prayed more often…
Please, during your prayers, say a couple of words for us.
God bless.
Any way, in my early 20s, I was a somewhat devout Catholic, meeting regularly with my spiritual director and trying to remain in good terms with God. Until I met who would become my wife.
Because she was divorced (actually, separated, divorce came later), I ended up distancing myself from the Church for well over 5 years. Until one day when I suggested we go to Mass to thank for my landing a good job. From that day on, we’d go to Mass every now and then. At first, sparsely, later, more frequently, but in no way close to weekly. Later, we started going to another church closer to home. The pastor there conquered both of us and at one point, I’m not quite sure when, we found ourselves going to every Sunday Mass.
Even before we reached this point, some longing for the Church, in particular the sacraments, started to grow in me. I started to want to learn more about the Faith, getting back to spiritual readings as I used to before I met my wife. It wasn’t without great joy when our pastor started teaching “RCIA for Catholics” last week, to which about 200 people showed up (in a 3000-family parish).
Meanwhile, I can’t say that my wife has been as enthusiastic as I have (this is when I suspect I’m being melodramatic). She was baptized Lutheran, but was first married in the Catholic Church. At one point, she wanted badly to get in line to take the Holy Communion, but I advised her that our situation forbade us from doing that. It was in the middle of Mass and I tried to explain to her what’s wrong in our situation that proscribes us from that sacrament. She was very saddened by that and it was probably then that she expressed what sounded to me like a regret to having approached the Church.
She was never raised as a Lutheran. Rather, she was raised as a member of a New Age cult. Perhaps then was when she got a certain distrust for religion in general. Having said this, I have to say that I do this to explain that this journey is perhaps harder for her than for me. She’s got more stumbling blocks than me to go over. Yet, I have to say, all along she’s grown spiritually. Baby-steps, but a baby-step for a baby is something of a Super-Man.
This weekend, after having caught our son with pornography, we all went to Confession, but she didn’t want to. Her first Confession wasn’t all what she expected emotionally, a couple of years ago, so she hasn’t been quite keen on it. As she was reading a guide for examen I used, she was scandalized to see that tying up the tubes was a sin, something we did over a decade ago. Knowing her I knew what was going through her mind: “there goes this Church against common sense again.” Unfortunately, I didn’t have the time to tell her that as we didn’t know that it was wrong we commited any grave sin. But I digress. I only mentioned this event because it’s fresher in my memory. It’s actually one instance among several others like this that I’m afraid add mortar between her stumbling blocks.
If we were alone in this journey, perhaps no one would get hurt. But what leaves me deeply saddened is that it does affect our children. Particularly our 18-year old daughter, I’m afraid. Our 12-year old son is still docile to the Chruch’s teachings, but I’m afraid that some of my wife’s difficulties are rubbing off on our daughter.
I dream about a pious family, yet I’m grateful to the Lord for calling me back and being able to bring along my dearest ones. I can only put my hopes in Him to bring us all close to teh Church, perhaps even giving my wife the courage to start her annulment. For now, I can only pray for it. If only I prayed more often…
Please, during your prayers, say a couple of words for us.
God bless.
I think that they do pick up my wife’s reluctance. It seems to me that my son isn’t as affected by it as my daughter. She tends to side with her mother at first.
