Learner's Permit: Celebrate, Commiserate

[kaygee]

dd turned 15 yesterday. Today we went to dmv for her beginner’s permit – she passed. I’m proud of her, and so scared for her, and so terrified of teaching her to drive. Anyone want to share teaching teenage children to drive stories?

 

[SeekerJen]

When you take her out for practice, don’t spend the entire time pumping an imaginary brake pedal, white-knuckling the door handle, and gasping in fear. My mom did this any time I came within a few feet of a parked car or went over 25 mph. At one point, her behavior startled me so much that I nearly hit another car. I finally refused to drive with her in the car. My dad then started going with me. He would settle in to the passenger seat with a copy of Golf Digest, occasionally glance up, make a few comments to the effect of “slow down a little” or “don’t forget your blinker”, and otherwise just go along for the ride. It was so much easier to learn to drive with a calm passenger.

 

[Karin]

My ds will get his permit in May
I think that getting someone else toteach themis the best thing really…that way they can crack up somone elses car and drive someone else crazy…I am going the driving school road

 

[kaygee]

Thanks for the advice, Seeker Jen… My mom was the same way. . . I’ll try to be good, but DH is the WORST backseat driver in the world so he knows better than to try to teach her.

DMV was so traumatic! DD flunked the eye test. She’s never given us reason to suspect an eye problem. She plays sports requiring good eyesight well; she’s good at video games on TV; straight A’s in school and has always passed the school eye exam.

She was in tears when we left DMV and I took her straight to the WalMart optician – would have taken a week to get an appt. with my opthamologist. Optician checked her out and pronounced her mildly farsighted, but not enough to even think about getting glasses. She signed the DMV statement (muttering about how the testers need to tell testees that their foreheads need to be pressed hard and evenly against the testing machines) and back we went. I was afraid that dd might be too upset to pass the written test, but pass she did!

So far, we’ve only done start/stop, turn, k-turn, etc. in an abandoned parking lot and have done a couple of 25 mph tours of our subdivision. She did well. BUT

How do you train someone to automatically use a turn signal before making the turn WITHOUT nagging?

Karin, dd’s birthdate is a little off to be eligible for driver ed at school this year. She will have it well before she goes for the final road test. By law, she needs to log 40 hours of practice outside of driver’s ed. I agree that there is no substitute for a professional instructor.

 

[Giannawannabe]

When you take her out for practice, don’t spend the entire time pumping an imaginary brake pedal, white-knuckling the door handle, and gasping in fear. My mom did this any time I came within a few feet of a parked car or went over 25 mph. At one point, her behavior startled me so much that I nearly hit another car. I finally refused to drive with her in the car. My dad then started going with me. He would settle in to the passenger seat with a copy of Golf Digest, occasionally glance up, make a few comments to the effect of “slow down a little” or “don’t forget your blinker”, and otherwise just go along for the ride. It was so much easier to learn to drive with a calm passenger.

LOL!!! My Dad was the white knuckled passenger. My sibs and I still laugh about Dad “teaching” us how to drive. I can still hear him yelling “Brake! Brake! Brake!” when I come to a Stop sign.

kaygee,
no real advice here—I’ll be facing the driving thing in a couple of years!! I would tell your DD to say a little prayer every time she heads out in the car. Maybe put some St. Christopher medals in the car. Tell her to always ask for St. Christopher’s prayers when she’s driving. I agree with Jen. Stay calm and cool. If you’re nervous, then she’ll be nervous!

 

[KCT]

My ds will get his permit in May
I think that getting someone else toteach themis the best thing really…that way they can crack up somone elses car and drive someone else crazy…I am going the driving school road

In MD kids have to go to an approved driving school, plus get 60 hours of drive time on their own. My husband is WAY too nervous, so I do the drive time. 2 kids down, one to go!

Our youngest will be 15 yrs and 9 mos in November; she can test for her permit then. Basically I get a chauffer when one has a permit It’s kind of nice. —KCT

 

[puzzleannie]

I like the timing of Confirmation in my diocese, they already have the gifts of the Holy Spirit when they begin driver’s training, I hope it makes a difference. Each of my kids totalled a car as a new driver, each emerged safe and sound, as did their passengers. I survived, I don’t know how their guardian angels are doing.

 

[SMHW]

Here in California teens under 18 can get their permits when they reach age 15 but they are not valid for use until the teen has completed a course of classroom instruction and has had the first session of in-car driver’s training from a certified instructor. When they do get their license they have graduated driving privileges. Until they’ve had their license for a year they can’t take any passengers under the age of 20 unless they are accompanied by a licensed driver who is age 25 or older. There are some exceptions for family members.

I think having someone other than the parent give the first driving lesson is good for all involved. Both parent and teen are less stressed.

When my son was learning to drive and when my daughter (who currently has her permit) was first learning to drive we’d take them to some industrial complex on a weekend so there’d be a big empty parking lot. That way they could get the feel of the car without too much danger of them hitting anything. Once both driver and parent were comfortable we’d take them out on a street without too many parked cars or too much traffic. That cut down on the stress level for everyone.

Once we thought they knew how to keep the vehicle centered in the lane we’d let them do the driving when we were out running errands. Both my husband and I drive with them. The student driver quickly learns that if Mom and Dad say the same thing then maybe it’s important. If only one says it then maybe it’s a case of that parent just being too stressed.

 

[Nicole]

dd turned 15 yesterday. Today we went to dmv for her beginner’s permit – she passed. I’m proud of her, and so scared for her, and so terrified of teaching her to drive. Anyone want to share teaching teenage children to drive stories?

No stories to share yet, but we are right behind you. Dd turned 15 in Sept and is going to take her test next week. I told her she could drive me home from the testing place and she freaked out. I was just kidding of course, although she has practiced a bit w/her Dad already.

Definitely scary territory,
Nicole

 

[Khoria_Anna]

. I told her she could drive me home from the testing place and she freaked out. I was just kidding of course, although she has practiced a bit w/her Dad already.

Definitely scary territory,
Nicole

dd came dancin’ out of the testing room, knowing she passed – high fived me and gave me a huge hug. I said, “I knew you could do it – I’m so proud of you, but if you think this means you’re driving home, you’ve got another think coming.” There was general chuckling all around. . .

 

[jman507]

I got teaching duties with my sister. It gets my mom way too nervous. My dads ok, but I’d be the calmest one out of the bunch. My mom first took her to the parking lot to learn about turning. Then after that I did quite a lot of it afterwards, til she was decent enough. We’re kinda lucky because we have a long highway, til you really get into the city where the tougher traffic is. Then the town we are in only has light residential traffic. One gets a chance to get comfortable, before the hard traffic. The main thing is to keep calm, it helps the driver stay calmer. Make sure the driver stays concentrated.

Maybe to keep from seeming like you are nagging, talk your way through what you are doing first. Then drop that off a bit, when they don’t seem to need the talk through. Just mention something calmly if they forget something. Than a lot later, let them make a mistake if it is not critical, like a turn single, when no one is behind or near the turn, and bring it up afterwards.

 

[Viki59]

We are on the opposite side of the fence. Just because a child turns 15 or 16 doesn’t mean to me that they’re ready to drive.

My mom lost my application, and I never got it in high school. I paid for a course with a professional when I was 24, and got my license then.
It looks like becoming a family tradition, my oldest son got his license at 25 or so, on his own.
My second son, at 30, still doesn’t drive. Takes a bike or a bus and walks a lot.
Too many fatal accidents happen to young teens who drive. They are trying to cut down on them by making it illegal for kids to drive with more than one friend in the car. I prefer my method: they can drive when their brains are working a little better, at 18.

 

[Karin]

We are on the opposite side of the fence. Just because a child turns 15 or 16 doesn’t mean to me that they’re ready to drive.

My mom lost my application, and I never got it in high school. I paid for a course with a professional when I was 24, and got my license then.
It looks like becoming a family tradition, my oldest son got his license at 25 or so, on his own.
My second son, at 30, still doesn’t drive. Takes a bike or a bus and walks a lot.
Too many fatal accidents happen to young teens who drive. They are trying to cut down on them by making it illegal for kids to drive with more than one friend in the car. I prefer my method: they can drive when their brains are working a little better, at 18.

Your way works great if you live in an area with reliable and good mass transit options…not all of us do so the only option for us it to teach our kids to drive unless we want to play chaufer to them till they get to be 18 or older
Also just becuase they have a D.L. does not mean that they have to drive …

 

[jman507]

Thats one tough thing about making state driving laws. In my state in Nebraska, we have some urban places, then we have some places where it is five miles to your nieghbors.

But good on ya, if your city has a good mass transit. Its better to keep the kids out of the cars if they can get where they need to go without them.

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

How do you train someone to automatically use a turn signal before making the turn WITHOUT nagging?

**How about setting up clear “rules”? Tell her that you will remind her to put on her turn signal if she doesn’t automatically do it by a certain point that you both agree on (a few car lengths, the second house from the corner etc…whatever works for you). **

That way you will not be nagging her, but simply acting upon an agreement.

Malia

p.s.

when I was first learning to drive, my dad made me drive BACKWARDS up and down my grandparents long farm driveway…why??? Because apparently “if you can drive backwards then you can drive forwards”, lol. I think it helped me keep my speed in check and not get over confident and get out of control…

 

[Almeria]

How do you train someone to automatically use a turn signal before making the turn WITHOUT nagging?

Another way to train someone in this is to make sure that you are always using your turn signal. The more we adults follow traffic laws, the more our kids will. I had a bunch of friends fail their driver’s test because they drove like their parents did. If we want them to be drive as safe as possible, we need to be sure that we drive that way, too.

 

[TraderTif]

Oh man, I’m 25 and still have my learner’s permit! I had a lot of health problems in high school, and we didn’t really have time to tackle the issue. And then we moved to VT. I got my learner’s permit at 18 and realized that there are almost no driving instructors here! I tried the only local one, but he couldn’t cope with my crazy schedule (I still have health problems and am constantly canceling appointments.)

Plus, for my very first lesson he basically dumped me in the car and had me driving all over the roads, freeways, everything. It scared me so bad I was in total panic mode for the next lesson, where he tried to teach me to parallel park! On the actual street, between actual cars! (needless to say this method was completely uneffective, as I was too scared to LEARN anything!)

So my parents tried to teach me, but they wouldn’t let me get comfortable anywhere! I told them, “look, just let me stay in parking lots and this basic route around some side streets until I feel comfortable there, and then I can proceed on to harder things”. But I never progressed fast enough for them! They kept yelling at me to get out on the freeway, etc.

And the end result of all this stress was to exacerbate my health problems each time, I would get too sick to go anywhere, and I would have to start all over again. And then (on an un-related note), my health totally collapsed and I had to drop out of school. So as soon as I’m able I want to finish school first (only 7 classes to my degree!!!), and then try driving again, but on MY terms.

So all I can say is don’t force your kids to do more then they’re ready for! Because it really seems to backfire!!
Tif =8-)