Leaving parish

  • Thread starter Thread starter Whitacre_Girl
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
W

Whitacre_Girl

Guest
I have a question about the church’s rules about parish attendance. I hope this is an okay place to post.

Due to reasons I don’t want to get into here, I find myself having to leave my parish. I want to seek out a church that is more traditional, and more reverent of the mass in general. (My current parish has just gone too far, and I feel that I can’t tolerate it anymore). Is it permissible for me to go to a parish close to my home, and stop attending this one?

As to trying to fix the problems in my parish, it is something a large number of us have spoken up about, and we have all been ignored. I am now a minority in my opinion because all others have left, or are about to Especially in light of what they have done to the mass during Holy Week. 😦
 
When my parish started becoming more liberal in the 80s, I left and went to another nearby parish that was more traditional. I don’t know what the rules are, but if going to Mass gets me angry and doesn’t bring me peace, something has to change. So I went elsewhere.
 
Whitacre_Girl said:
I have a question about the church’s rules about parish attendance. I hope this is an okay place to post.

Due to reasons I don’t want to get into here, I find myself having to leave my parish. I want to seek out a church that is more traditional, and more reverent of the mass in general. (My current parish has just gone too far, and I feel that I can’t tolerate it anymore). Is it permissible for me to go to a parish close to my home, and stop attending this one?

As to trying to fix the problems in my parish, it is something a large number of us have spoken up about, and we have all been ignored. I am now a minority in my opinion because all others have left, or are about to Especially in light of what they have done to the mass during Holy Week. 😦
Click to expand...
You are free to choose your own parish.

I returned to my ancestral parish about 15 years ago when a job transfer brought me back to my hometown. My parish was in horrible liturgical shape back then. A lot of real angry people including myself. Most of them are gone now. I remain. Our Solemn Mass on Easter Sunday is going to be stunningly gorgeous and reverent. The rest of the Masses should be great as well.

I wish more people would have hung in there with me…
 
ChurchTorch said:
You are free to choose your own parish.

I returned to my ancestral parish about 15 years ago when a job transfer brought me back to my hometown. My parish was in horrible liturgical shape back then. A lot of real angry people including myself. Most of them are gone now. I remain. Our Solemn Mass on Easter Sunday is going to be stunningly gorgeous and reverent. The rest of the Masses should be great as well.

I wish more people would have hung in there with me…
Click to expand...
I have been trying to hang in as long as I can. This is a frustration that found me on the day I was brought in to the church.

The problem is, this whole week - all of it - is being replaced with standard masses to a different kind of mass we use to be more “community oriented.” in these masses, children are free to run around and scream through the whole mass (even to the point of crawling up on the altar and pulling and the priest’s garments while he is doing the consecration). They are allowed to run around and play in the aisles, scream, and adults will just talk during parts they don’t understand or find uninteresting. And by children I don’t mean 2 and 3 year olds, I am talking about 4 year olds to as old as 11 year olds. There are even cases where they get up, leave the sanctuary, and play in the fount of holy water. Splashing each other, laughing, and shouting. Nothing is done to address this. Don’t get me wrong, I love kids. I am studying to be an elementary school teacher which proably makes the distration of kids not paying attention and being off-task even more off-putting.

When I was brought in to the church (after sacrificing my career, family and friends to do so and waiting 2 years) the mass was one of these masses. I couldn’t hear half of it, couldn’t understand the other half, and when we were praying there were kids playing tag around the altar. Needless to say I left feeling more disappointed by my “wedding” to the church than satisfied. It was like trying to get married, and enjoy the romance of that event, in the middle of a rock concert.
 
Whitacre_Girl said:
I have been trying to hang in as long as I can. This is a frustration that found me on the day I was brought in to the church.

The problem is, this whole week - all of it - is being replaced with standard masses to a different kind of mass we use to be more “community oriented.” in these masses, children are free to run around and scream through the whole mass (even to the point of crawling up on the altar and pulling and the priest’s garments while he is doing the consecration). They are allowed to run around and play in the aisles, scream, and adults will just talk during parts they don’t understand or find uninteresting. And by children I don’t mean 2 and 3 year olds, I am talking about 4 year olds to as old as 11 year olds. There are even cases where they get up, leave the sanctuary, and play in the fount of holy water. Splashing each other, laughing, and shouting. Nothing is done to address this. Don’t get me wrong, I love kids. I am studying to be an elementary school teacher which proably makes the distration of kids not paying attention and being off-task even more off-putting.

When I was brought in to the church (after sacrificing my career, family and friends to do so and waiting 2 years) the mass was one of these masses. I couldn’t hear half of it, couldn’t understand the other half, and when we were praying there were kids playing tag around the altar. Needless to say I left feeling more disappointed by my “wedding” to the church than satisfied. It was like trying to get married, and enjoy the romance of that event, in the middle of a rock concert.
Click to expand...
You definitely need to go somewhere where you you will be spiritually fed. You are free to move.

I wasn’t in a sense. My ancestral parish of many generations had gone to heck. I NEEDED to stick around and be part of the solution. Not all are cut out for that. It took a long time to be able to ignore much of what you list and really focus in on the Mass. With God’s grace anything is possible. My parish is a good example of that!
 
I try to visit the Cathedral at least once a month then a nearby parish that celebrates the EF Mass the following Sunday and then back to my NO parish rest of the month. At least my BP doesn’t go too high that way.🙂
 
I have stopped going to my parish for Mass for similar reasons: awful music, no sense of reverence or of the transcendent Lord, liturgical abuses, etc. I’m not naturally the type to get involved in parish affairs. I found a beautiful benedictine monastery a 30 min. drive away. In 2001 I started going there for Mass every Sunday and to some of the other offices. In 2003 I became an oblate!

It is now my spiritual home. Also I sing in a small schola in a nearby city and once a month we bring Gregorian chant to different parishes. We get to see the parishes that are live, the ones that are dead, the ones that are irreverent, and the ones that are holy. Notably there are a couple of family-oriented parishes that I like where even a 4 pm vigil Mass on Sunday is packed.

I do continue to tithe my home parish though.
 
The old rule about having to go to a certain parish depending on your home’s location has been rescinded.
 
Hello Whitacre_Girl.

Wow! This is an absolute abomination. How such disrespect and disregard for Jesus and our most holy sacrifice can be shown, especially in Mass, is beyond me. I feel for you and understand your just anger. I would say to attend another church for Easter so that you can enter into a deeper appreciation for His suffering and resurrection. If you haven’t already contacted your bishop, I would suggest doing so. Make sure if you write a letter to keep it concise to the most important issue, because I am sure he is extremely busy, but if you’re unable to try contact him by phone through the office of the diocese.
 
The rules about geographic parishes are no longer being enforced in most places. You are free to attend Mass at any parish. To join a parish, call the parish office and ask what paperwork they need. I strongly encourage you to belong to a parish and financial support the church as the precept require.
 
Whitacre_Girl said:
I have a question about the church’s rules about parish attendance. I hope this is an okay place to post.

Due to reasons I don’t want to get into here, I find myself having to leave my parish. I want to seek out a church that is more traditional, and more reverent of the mass in general. (My current parish has just gone too far, and I feel that I can’t tolerate it anymore). Is it permissible for me to go to a parish close to my home, and stop attending this one?

As to trying to fix the problems in my parish, it is something a large number of us have spoken up about, and we have all been ignored. I am now a minority in my opinion because all others have left, or are about to Especially in light of what they have done to the mass during Holy Week. 😦
Click to expand...
i don’t really see a problem in that

in my area there are two churches close by and people move back and forth between the two parishes. some move to the other parish because it has a school attached and being a registered parishioner they get discounts for their kid’s fees. others just because they like the priest in one parish better

when we moved, my wife wrote to the parish office indicating we’re moving
 
Whitacre Girl

I’m in the same boat as you. Anyone worthwhile in the parish is long gone having either given up in frustration or being shown the door by some of the more “compassionate” and “tolerant” parishioners. Women are pro-aborts and frustrated priestesses and the GIRM is ignored completely. It’s a wealthy parish and it never enters the heads of these people that they may have members who aren’t. When the abuse scandal broke in 2002, people refinanced their homes so the diocese could raise money to pay people off.

It is too bad that most of your group chose to leave. How will things change if good people walk out? That is exactly what they want you to do and are hoping you do. That’s what we did in the sixties and seventies because everything got so bad, and you are now living with the results of that.

Why don’t you and whatever of your group is left make a novena to Our Lady and ask her what you should do?

But, no, everyone here is correct. You are no longer, as we were in the past, bound to your geographical parish. I think that was done mostly for the sake of the schools that the parishes had attached to them.

I’m saying a prayer for you.
 
Whitacre_Girl said:
I have a question about the church’s rules about parish attendance. I hope this is an okay place to post.

Due to reasons I don’t want to get into here, I find myself having to leave my parish. I want to seek out a church that is more traditional, and more reverent of the mass in general. (My current parish has just gone too far, and I feel that I can’t tolerate it anymore). Is it permissible for me to go to a parish close to my home, and stop attending this one?

As to trying to fix the problems in my parish, it is something a large number of us have spoken up about, and we have all been ignored. I am now a minority in my opinion because all others have left, or are about to Especially in light of what they have done to the mass during Holy Week. 😦
Click to expand...
HI

I hope you don’t feel sad anymore. I too, sometimes have thoughts about leaving my parish becasue I find alot of distractions today. Too much talking and so on and find it very disturbing. What is the matter with people! Sometimes, I can’t hear myself. There is no respect. At the same time I feel it is not the right thing to leave our parish becuase Jesus is in every parish. I block alot of things out because we can easily get upset. There was a time that I wanted to stand up from my seat and would like to have said something becasue it was getting too much. People have to learn to be in silence when going to church. all i hear yip yap… I always wish that everything was like before, very serious-that is what we need today.

I always hope for the better 🙂
:signofcross:
 
Beatitudes Matt. 5:3-10
Blessed are the peacemakers, they will be called children of God
It deeply disturbs my wife but, I have no problem attempting to bring peace to the house of God. I will not stand for disrespect to my faith or any facet of it.
I always do so in a respectful manner. But, comeon running and yelling. No way. I may just be blessed because our Pastor would absolutely blow a gasket. That is why I love him so much. Absolute Reverence… demanded by all. Before you get eternity you must give respect I feel.
 
I left my old parish sevral years ago and found a fairly "conservative " parish that was making some progress in getting more reverence. Many of the folks “talked” a good battle but after 4 years there is really no more progress than when I came to them. So i’ve pretty much moved on to FSSP
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top