Leila Miller: When even the Church abandons the abandoned spouse

[JimG]

When even the Church abandons the abandoned spouse — Leila Miller

 

[redcatholic]

Yep. This view needs to be seen more.
“Just go get an annulment” should not be the Catholic view.

 

[JimG]

I haven’t read the book by Sheila Rauch Kennedy, (Shattered Faith), but when her husband sought and obtained an annulment ruling from a U.S. tribunal, she appealed to the Roman Rota, which eventually overturned the original tribunal decision.

 

[Irishmom2]

I read the article linked and the links the author “this, this and thised” and I had no idea it was this bad.

 

[Anicette]

The judicial vicar who is writting this letter

1. confuse civil marriage and sacramental marriage. He speaks of the will of the husband to end his marriage. Certainely, he is currently determined in his goal, a,d speaking with him show no effect. But that does not mean this priest has any right to said to his wife that his marriage is dead (her husband is still alive!) and to kill all her hope of reconciliation.
2. It is wrong from him and uncharitable to put the blame of her while saying her marriage goes not represent Christ’s exemple, so should be “ended”. The worst psychologist would not said the same thing, it is deliberate cruelty. And for a priest it far worst. He is excepted to show Christ’s love, compassion… and stay strong for the marriage - so encourage and heard the tears of the abandonned spouse.

The US Church count as the majorities of the annulements in the world, despite being only 1/4 of the Catholics…

 

[JimG]

First came no-fault divorce laws. So, if you live in a no fault divorce state, even though you promise fidelity for better or worse, in good times and bad, till death, the state law immediately voids your vows, no matter how sacrosanct. The law says that either party can break the marriage at any time, for any reason.

Then the tribunal system made it easier to find reasons why a marriage is not valid.

Divorce is easy. Annulment is easier than it was.
Keeping commitments is harder.

 

[Anicette]

orce is easy. Annulment is easier than it was.

I agree. And to find links and reference to annulement procedure on the family mistry of (some?) dioceses is an American particularity. It is not completely unfound to speak on an annulement culture that go together with a long history of divorce because of cultural/economical/protestant/law background.

 

[ZemD]

That letter hurt my feelings even not being the person it was addressed to.

‘Look honestly at your marriage, would jesus use it as an example to teach about marriage?’

Ouch.

He probably wouldn’t use my marriage as an example either, but I sure hope that doesn’t mean our vows mean nothing just because we are imperfect and both fail at times to put the other first and ourselves second.

 

[Irishmom2]

Yeah, when I read that, I thought “ gee, is there anyone I know whose marriage could be used as an example?”

But you know, I think the people that argue or whatever but tough it out actually are the good examples, not the fairytale marriages where everything appears fine, and then one of them announces they are calling it quits.