Lending family money

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My husbands family is having money troubles and are being evicted, but my husband and I have no money to lend them and we also are living pay check to paycheck as I am a stay at home wife and our baby will be here next month and we live in a one bedroom apartment. I really need advise because my husband has other siblings who are more well off then us, but his dad has pressured my husband into giving him money that we really need for ourselves being my husband can be laid off any minute with the job he works. Anyways how do I reply to this in a catholic way? I do not want his family to be living on the streets, but im affended that his dad would expect us to help out that much and use the excuse that my husband’s older siblings have a family and that he couldn’t ask his older siblings for that type of help when my husband is also has a family to provide for.
 
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To family, money ought always be a gift. If you cannot afford to go un-repaid, do not offer.

“We do not have the money.” is a perfectly fine answer. Keep repeating it.
 
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Hon, if you don’t have the money, you don’t have the money.
Could you & your husband try to help them by finding some social service agencies that might be able to help?
 
Discuss this with your husband and make sure you’re on the same page. He cannot be irresponsible enough to give his parents money when he has you and soon a new baby to look after.

Agree on a party line together and stick to it. “We’re only just getting by as it is. We don’t have any money to spare for you.” Then repeat until they stop asking you. Don’t engage further, or get angry/argue.
 
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Never give money to friends/family that you cannot give as a gift.

“I’m sorry.” And if they don’t take no for an answer, you can stare at them helpfully until they choose to go away on their own.
 
Rfd said:
I really need advise because my husband has other siblings who are more well off then us, but his dad has pressured my husband into giving him money that we really need for ourselves being my husband can be laid off any minute with the job he works.
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Rfd said:
his dad would use the excuse that my husband’s older siblings have a family and that he couldn’t ask his older siblings for that type of help when my husband is also has a family to provide for.
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sounds like his Dad either
(1) knows your husband can’t afford to give and is pushing him to, despite his siblings having more $$, in which case need to set healthy boundary with Dad (“Dad, I’ve respectfully told you I can’t due to financial reasons. Please respect that. Thank you…”)

(2) doesn’t know your husband can’t afford to give in which case your husband and his Dad need to have a talk so Dad knows, after which Dad may go ask his siblings
 
We got them help, but very little could be done for them. I honestly would ignore it and let them work it out, but this is really emotional for my husband so I can not just say sucks to be you type of thing. I really do not know the catholic way to handle this, and I really do not want to hurt my husband since his little brothers could end up in foster care if his parents do not find another living arrangement soon.
 
@Rfd
Arguing with your father-in-law won’t help. He’ll just argue back.
Listing reasons why you can’t afford it probably won’t help. He’ll just keep insisting you can.
The best advice I know has already been given so I’ll just repeat it.
Lou2U said:
"We don’t have any money to spare for you.” Then repeat until they stop asking you.
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Just make the statement, then repeat and repeat until they stop.
You might add “We understand but—” to the beginning of this response. That sometimes helps.

May God bless you and your family, including the ones in need.
 
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His dad knows we have no money. My husband and I just moved out of a travel trailer we were borrowing because of how bad off we were when my husband had a 5 month lay off.
 
He should contact other siblings and at least let them know , if the Dad won’t. They need to know that your Father in law is asking your Husband for money he doesn’t have. At a minimum, if his siblings have enough money to give and if they have a conscience, the matter will be resolved and if they choose not to give money even though they can afford it, then the responsibility is on them, not on your Husband. My guess is your Husband is reluctant to tell siblings since its not the greatest feeling to tell someone you don’t have enough money to help out someone?
 
Rfd said:
his little brothers could end up in foster care if his parents do not find another living arrangement soon.
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Perhaps you could offer to take in his little brothers until the parents are able to resolve things. It’s important for them to be secure in where they’re living.
 
A parent should not be pressuring their child for money. They’ve had a 20-30+ year life advantage over their children and should be in a place where they can help their children, not the other way around. I understand things happen, but godly stewardship of finances and hard work can overcome a multitude of bad situations.

As a father I would never ask my children for money, even if it meant me becoming homeless.
 
This is time when the entire family ought work together to take in the members of the family who are having difficulties, help them looking for jobs, etc.
 
Donald_S said:
As a father I would never ask my children for money, even if it meant me becoming homeless.
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And as an adult child I would want my parents to come to me before becoming homeless.

My parents were a support to me when I needed it. I feel that it would be a partial repayment if I could help.
 
Elf01 said:
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Donald_S:
As a father I would never ask my children for money, even if it meant me becoming homeless.
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And as an adult child I would want my parents to come to me before becoming homeless.

My parents were a support to me when I needed it. I feel that it would be a partial repayment if I could help.
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But that should be voluntary. I would help my parents as well. There should never be pressure from a parent on one of their children when they know they cannot afford to help.
 
Donald_S said:
But that should be voluntary. I would help my parents as well. There should never be pressure from a parent on one of their children when they know they cannot afford to help.
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True. I read your post as saying that you would hide your problems from your children or refuse help if offered. That’s what I was objecting to.
 
Elf01 said:
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Donald_S:
But that should be voluntary. I would help my parents as well. There should never be pressure from a parent on one of their children when they know they cannot afford to help.
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True. I read your post as saying that you would hide your problems from your children or refuse help if offered. That’s what I was objecting to.
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Yeah, I could see how that might come across that way. Parents can still be open about what’s going on in their lives with their children. I would tell my kids the truth. I would explain the situation and why it happened. If it was self-inflicted, I would let them know and show them where I went wrong, mostly in the hopes that they would avoid the same foolishness. But I would not specifically ask them for money. If they offered, I might accept. It depends on their situation. I may refuse if I know it would hurt them financially, especially if my situation is self-inflicted.
 
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