Lenten Fridays and non-Catholic hosts

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So what is the right thing to do in this scenario: Someone invites you to dinner in a couple of weeks, and you accept. Later it dawns on you that the day will fall on a Friday in Lent when you are supposed to be abstaining from meat, and the non-Catholic hosts were planning on a chicken dinner. It seems rude to dictate the terms when someone is offering to feed you dinner. What do you do in this case?
 
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It would depend on many things, such as
  • How well do I know the person who extended the invitation?
  • What is my relationship to the host(s)?
  • How far in advance did I realize the dinner was to happen on a Friday in Lent?
 
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1ke said:
Catholics may eat what is served to them when they are guests in a household that does not follow the abstinence penance.
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I think I’ve heard this before but I’m having trouble finding a source! Lest it be erroneous, do you have a link or remember where you heard it?
 
I eat whatever I’m served.

I try to keep my Lenten discipline of no second helpings, though.

I’m twisted enough that renouncing my penance is a penance in itself for me.
 
What if they were going to bring the food to our house for dinner - does the same principle apply?
 
I can’t quote anything but what my priest told me.

I had surgery and had friends delivering meals.

We ate what they brought.

My husband was working long hours and I was essentially in the bed or a chair all day. Cooking for me was not an option.

And I was told to eat what was put in front of me.
 
Or, you can always eat whatever they offer minus the meat. If they are friends or family that know you are Catholic, it shouldn’t come as a surprise to them. As long as you say “ I am not eating meat for Lent, but I would love some of those xyz you are serving,” and not say “we aren’t supposed to be eating meat during Lent,” I don’t think it should be a problem.
 
Depends who it is. If it was my family, I would tell them in advance because they would rather cook what I can eat than not have me eat the main dish. If it was a friend or co-worker, I would just eat everything except for the chicken. How would they handle their vegetarian guests? If one cooks a chicken dinner for company, one must know that some people don’t eat meat at all.

I would not eat the chicken during Lent though, under any circumstances (short of serious health issues and no other food available).
 
This is actually what I was getting at in point 3 of my earlier post. There is a difference between realizing the day after accepting the invitation that there may be an issue on the day of the dinner, and being seated at the table and unexpectedly having a plate of chicken put in front of me. Even in the former instance, what I would do depends on the answers to the questions in points 1 and 2.
 
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My friends and family all know I am Catholic.

A few years ago there was a HUGE party planned form my parent’s 50th Anniversary. The big open house was on Saturday, and there was going to be a meal for family only (because so many were traveling for the occasion) on Friday evening. It was during Lent. My husband, son and I are the only Catholics in the family. The part of the family in charge of menu called me to make sure there was something on the menu that would fit our Friday observance.

That Catholics don’t eat meat on the Fridays of Lent is very much common knowledge. Your friends know you are Catholic, they will likely ask you what they ought serve.
 
If it’s 2 weeks away and they’re good friends, you could mention to them you forgot it was Lent and you’d have to skip the chicken and wanted to just let them know so they wouldn’t be offended. They will likely either cook something else for you, or reschedule the dinner to another night if there aren’t 12 other people coming.

If this is not your good friend, but somebody else like your boss or a business contact, I would recommend you just eat the chicken and next time be more careful about checking the calendar.
 
EnglishTeacher said:
So what is the right thing to do in this scenario: Someone invites you to dinner in a couple of weeks, and you accept. Later it dawns on you that the day will fall on a Friday in Lent when you are supposed to be abstaining from meat, and the non-Catholic hosts were planning on a chicken dinner. It seems rude to dictate the terms when someone is offering to feed you dinner. What do you do in this case?
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You are not required, for proper manners, to eat everything offered at a dinner party.
 
A story told by our pastor:
He was officiating a wedding during Lent. And of course the rehearsal dinner was on Friday. One side was Catholic, one wasn’t. So they had two options at the dinner. Fish and chicken.
By the time Father arrived, because so many had ordered it, there was no fish. He ordered the chicken. He hadn’t eaten since lunchtime and there was no way he was going to embarrass his host.

No, you don’t have to eat everything that is offered. But you also shouldn’t embarrass your host. Better to eat what is offered then to be so rude to someone.
 
maryjk said:
A story told by our pastor:
He was officiating a wedding during Lent. And of course the rehearsal dinner was on Friday. One side was Catholic, one wasn’t. So they had two options at the dinner. Fish and chicken.
By the time Father arrived, because so many had ordered it, there was no fish. He ordered the chicken. He hadn’t eaten since lunchtime and there was no way he was going to embarrass his host.

No, you don’t have to eat everything that is offered. But you also shouldn’t embarrass your host. Better to eat what is offered then to be so rude to someone.
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As Emma Kumer wrote:
You are a guest in their home and it is your responsibility to appreciate their hospitality and effort. Nibble on the few things that you can eat and remember: You can always have a second dinner when you go home.
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This was at a restaurant. It would have been very obvious if he hadn’t ordered. Or not eaten.

And it would have also been very rude to waste the meal if he had ordered, then “nibbled on a few things.”

Not the exact situation as the OP, but close enough.

Oh, and I don’t eat at functions, quite often. But I tell people about it right away. I have celiac. Anyone close enough to me to invite me to dinner knows about it.
 
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