Lesbian & Gay Faith Sharing and Support Groups

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Felicity

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I was wondering if anyone has had any experience with a parish starting a “Lesbian & Gay Faith Sharing and Support Group.” One began at our parish recently, in response to a synod goal to “have more resources available for those with homosexual attractions, and for their families, (e.g Courage and Encourage).” But our group seems to be less in line with Church teaching (e.g. supporting chaste living) and more of the mind that homosexuality (practiced) is simply an alternate lifestyle into which some are born. Thank you.
 
Quite frankly there is no room for any kind of gay “social” club in our Church. If a person decides to live that life style, then they cannot be in communion with the Church.

While I do not approve of that life style in any way, shape or form, I find it best to try and live by the old rule of “Hate the sin & Love the Sinner”.

May God Bless You!

NOT JUST STRONG…CATHOLIC STRONG!!!
 
Felicity–I am new to this so bear with me. I am a non-practicing bisexual woman and a devout Catholic since Easter 1997. I have never dared to say that out-loud because there is such a gross misunderstanding or ignorance on the part of most Catholics I come in contact with. I believe the Church’s understanding of homosexuality is rudimentary. No one I’ve ever known “chose” to be gay or lesbian and most knew they were from the time they were 4 or 5. There is a categorical difference between “being” gay, lesbian or bi and “practicing” it as an alternative lifestyle. I agree with Fr. John Corapi that people who have this orientation are called to celibacy just like priests are. I do not believe that 10% of the human population are sexually disordered but I find it easy to believe that God would make 10% called to celibacy. Wanting to have a support group for celibate homosexuals is not looking for a “social” club. There is definitely a place for all within the body of the Church and it does not reject anyone for who they are, only for what they do.
 
I believe that the 10% estimate is rather high. Most experts put the number at closer to 3% of the population. The 10% guess became popular when the gay movement started gaining momentum and became a popular and trendy cause among the left wing hyper politically correct crowd.

Again, Love the Sinner, Hate the sin!!

NOT JUST STRONG…CATHOLIC STRONG!!!
 
I believe we who are gay/lesbian(referred to as gay from now on because all the names is ridiculous imo) are called to live a life of celibacy and I think the number of about 10% is accurate given my life experience as a 46 yo lesbian who has read much on this. Too many within the Catholic Church like to use the "love the sinner, hate the sin: as an excuse to hate a group of people. There are many gay people living quietly as faithful catholics in union with the Church. We are called to the same rules as straight people who are not married. It is just straight people who live in sin, or have sexual affairs, etc aren’t told to never mention it to fellow church members or have to hear the venomous talk from otherwise faithful church members. Now the group has to always encourage and psuh lovingly that all gays are called to sacrifice and live a life chaste and celibate. Some realize it right away, others longer, and others try but it takes a long period of prayer and garce to override the sexual urges and temptations and lonliness.

The greatest hurt I ever felt after coming home to my faith I grew up in was when several people who asked me about my life and I honestly answered that I was a lesbian living a celibate and chaste life to never ever tell anybody. The greater hurt was the looks and the way these people shunned me afterwords even though I had never done anything wrong except tell the truth. I foolishly thought they would be supportive and glad I had made such a huge step. Oh well. When the priests told me to never mention it, well, that really cut to the core. I figured others living a celibate/chaste life would be more supportive, especially me being a woman. But they are more afraid of the vocal ones who would raise a campaign of get rid of the fags if they thought a priest was outreaching to help gay catholics to help them live in union with the Church. Shame.

We need help and a place where we can talk about living life alone, where we can find others dedicated to such a hard path. We need love from our church since most religious orders are too afraid to accept gays even if they are celibate thanks to the current mood of some catholics. So we have to live in the world with very little to lean on in the way of human support. We have to instead listen to the talk and try to keep our mouths shut because our churches are our one place we can be with other catholics and worship God who made us all. Gays can’t magically turn it off, anymore then straight people can’t suddenly turn gay. Only a very tiny number of truly gay people choose to be that way, most would give anything if they could be straight but God did not wish us to have those attractions for reasons only He knows.

Maybe in another 10 years or so the more rigid members of the Church will realize they need to soften their hearts and judgmental opinions and reach out to welcome and support their chaste. celibate gay members? All that matters I guess is that not all straight Catholics are that harsh and cruel, and best of all I know Jesus and Mary love me for who I am. I turn the hypocrisy and hate filled speech by those who rather see me beat up or disappear into a gift that unites me with our Lord as he walked toward His cross for us all.
 
Thank you for you both. True Believer is the reason I have not shared this before in a catholic forum. And thanks for the courage link. Living alone in chastity and without friend or family is part of my cross which is heavy in so many other ways, is a daily struggle. I appreciate both of you sharing your support. I would absolutely never tell anyone in my parish, including the Pastor, about this because of this intolerance, ignorance of the issue, and zeal for making sexual orientation a status crime or sin. So in short I am very grateful. It is obvious to me that this thread will get dropped into by people whose only motive is to convert chaste GLB persons from their status rather than their practice.

Magdalene1
 
Magdaline1, Felicity and any others in this boat-

I live in a small southern town that has its own weirdness, but the thing to remember is that there are many very caring and nice priests and people who see that living as a gay person chaste is a hard cross and are very supportive. The thing I have to remind myself at times is that it is the vocal minority that spreads the intolerence and who refuse to ever want to open thier hearts and minds to what their fellow catholics go through. I use part of my hardtimes as a prayer to Jesus to touch their hearts and minds and to let them see the error of thier well meaning but wrongly directed actions.

Remember, especially among the under 50 group especially and really among the under 40 group the people are more open minded and more accepting of gays. They do not get as “freaked out” and do not buy the “it’s contagious” mindset. Keep hope and get to know the people in your church and when you do get to know people who you think you can be open with then go for it and let them know who you are and what you are doing for the love of God. If they freak then ignore them and pray for them. This too will change eventually but patience is the key and reading the people around you.

I am keeping you and all the others who bear this cross like us in my prayers. IF you(any of y’all gay/lesbina/bi living chaste) ever want someone to email with without judgement feel free to contact me. At least you know I have shared some of the samethings you have in this trying journey and am living a chaste life and all that entails. Hey and remember to just stand back sometimes and just have a good laugh over the absurdity of all this, it really is cathartic! :whacky:

Take care and :hug3: you aren’t alone!
 
Felicity said:
I was wondering if anyone has had any experience with a parish starting a “Lesbian & Gay Faith Sharing and Support Group.” One began at our parish recently, in response to a synod goal to “have more resources available for those with homosexual attractions, and for their families, (e.g Courage and Encourage).” But our group seems to be less in line with Church teaching (e.g. supporting chaste living) and more of the mind that homosexuality (practiced) is simply an alternate lifestyle into which some are born. Thank you.
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I would report this group’s heterodoxy to your priest first and then the bishop if the priest doesn’t do anything about it.
 
Holly:

I would, except the group is run by our priest:eek:, and has the bishop’s support. 😦

I do want to say to all the homosexual/bisexual posters who are striving to live chaste lives - thank you and God bless you! I wish you were in my parish so I could give you each a big hug! I am heterosexual, but did not marry until I was almost 34 - I strove to live a chaste life during my single years and this society (and fewer and fewer corners of the Church) does nothing to make that a comfortable choice. I will pray for each of you that God continues to shower you with every grace you need to live the life to which he has called you.

Please pray for the Church, the bishops and for every priest who loves the Church to be bold in advocating for chastity for all who are not married.

-Felicity
 
Courage (www.couragerc.net) is a great place for people who experience same-sex attractions. I go to a local courage group near my college during the school year.

I would like to say that there is a great deal of misunderstanding by many Christians regarding same-sex attractions. I don’t really have anyone to open up to regarding my SSA outside of courage (this forum does not count because you can’t know who I, “BobObob”, am, so I am thus anonymous). Having the right persons who you can disclose your SSA to, and are accepting of you, is very valuable.

Chaste friendships, especially with the same sex for those who have same-sex attractions, is essential in leading chaste lives. From my research, SSA is often (not always) a result of unmet social needs in the past. Many people with SSA, including myself, report that when they get to know someone of their own sex better on a personal level, their homosexual attraction to that person diminishes rather than increases.
 
Yes those who are calling themselves homosexual or rather I use those with homosexual tendencies indeed can live chastely…however in rhetoric when one says I love another sex it usually does imply sadly in our society sexual conotations. There are alot of Chruches however I have met in my aposlteship actively condoning practiced homosexuality…Big No no…we are called to love all…just as I love another man meaning i love him a as brother so may a woman however there IS a REAL fine line here…in my witnessing there are not many living chastely in fact in my craigslist ministry where i spotted many supposed Catholics on here propsing homosexual activity they told me it was ok…the Church was ok with it…

to a certain extent its getting to be too much propaganda…

there was nothing wrong in what true believer said at all…love the human person created in the image of God and DO NOT ACCEPT this sin…i have to reiterate that to alot of clergy
 
Felicity said:
Holly:

I do want to say to all the homosexual/bisexual posters who are striving to live chaste lives - thank you and God bless you! I wish you were in my parish so I could give you each a big hug!
-Felicity
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CAREFUL!! Don’t cause another scandal!! ;)😃 Just kiddin! And thanks for that.
 
the correct verbage…is a chaste/celibate soul struggling with homosexual tendency…
one must distinguish between the sin and the person…

saying i am homosexual is implying that there is active participation within, in ones heart given freely in consent of the will, which is indeed grave sin…

homosexuality is a sin…your either living in it…with the consent of the heart thru free will, which is practices and doesnt neccessarily have to mean in outward or visible movements or acts. For all or actions first arise in the heart. This a soul could have already consented to these urges, inclinations, spirits, all of which are disordered. Love on the other hand is ordered, man and woman, the world is ordered, heaven is ordered so is the human heart.

so the Church must learn not to call someone homosexual that implies sin, active participation and practice in consent of the heart.

Thus you have clergy now who potentially could have consented to these urges and spirits within many years ago but only recently may have acted upon them. It does not surprise me that scandals are in the Church amongst the clergy…

aS one Austrailian acrchbishop said gay priests are ticking timebombs just awaitng to go off…pretty blunt but true…practice and participation lay in the heart first…
 
I think there needs to be a chaste-gay pride movement in the Church! It seems like within Christianity we are either told to become heterosexual and shut up about the gay thing forever, or then there are liberal Christians who will encourage us to sin against chastity because they believe no one can live without sex.

And out in the gay community the chaste-gay Christian is about as welcome as your friendly neighborhood ax murderer. (Well, I guess chastity is contagious.)

That being said, it may be possible that a church Lesbian/Gay support group may be downplaying the chastity thing just because for some lesbian/gay people considering coming to Christ, it may be too much to ask them to give up sex forever the moment they walk in the door.
 
True_Believer said:
I believe that the 10% estimate is rather high. Most experts put the number at closer to 3% of the population. The 10% guess became popular when the gay movement started gaining momentum and became a popular and trendy cause among the left wing hyper politically correct crowd.

Again, Love the Sinner, Hate the sin!!

NOT JUST STRONG…CATHOLIC STRONG!!!
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Might be also worth pointing out that many of these estimates as to the total numbers of gay people in the population often came from flawed or misunderstood studies. The McKinsey study, although legitimate in its own right, was the study which people first took the 10% estimate from. The major problem was that McKinsey was studying sex-offenders at the time, a group which is now known to have significantly higher homosexual behavior rates than the norm.
 
The link between sex offenders and the gays cannot be denied. I would not allow these persons into my faith group.
 
A friend of mine with lesbian SSA had left the Church many years ago and pursued the lesbian lifestyle. She has since returned to the Church - many people praying for her and God gently leading her.

As one of her straight friends I tried to be her Simon of Cyrene helping her carry the cross even though for awhile she didn’t realize it was a cross because the pro-gay beliefs had clouded her judgment on the matter. I think it helped though ultimately that our friendship was also a chance just to share mutual interests like any friendship. It was challenging for both of us at times, too, when the difficult issues arose. Sometimes we had to “agree to disagree” if it got too heated. But the friendship endured.

I think devout straight Catholics need to be more willing to reach out to the chaste SSA person - and even to the one who isn’t yet convinced of the need for chastity, or who is attempting it but struggling. It helped in this case that I was a chaste straight single gal, so I could set an example that chastity is not death as our popular culture would try to have all of us believe.

Finally, avoid the “social worker” trap - remember a friendship is a friendship. We all have issues of some kind or another. Friendship is its own gift so if you befriend someone with SSA don’t make the mistake of being condescending. This can be tricky - and I don’t pretend that I’ve never had to make adjustments in my attitudes along the way. But such a friendship can be ultimately rewarding for both parties. God will give you the grace and wisdom to get through the awkward spots if you pray and ask for it.
 
3DOCTORS said:
A friend of mine with lesbian SSA had left the Church many years ago and pursued the lesbian lifestyle. She has since returned to the Church - many people praying for her and God gently leading her.

As one of her straight friends I tried to be her Simon of Cyrene helping her carry the cross even though for awhile she didn’t realize it was a cross because the pro-gay beliefs had clouded her judgment on the matter. I think it helped though ultimately that our friendship was also a chance just to share mutual interests like any friendship. It was challenging for both of us at times, too, when the difficult issues arose. Sometimes we had to “agree to disagree” if it got too heated. But the friendship endured.

I think devout straight Catholics need to be more willing to reach out to the chaste SSA person - and even to the one who isn’t yet convinced of the need for chastity, or who is attempting it but struggling. It helped in this case that I was a chaste straight single gal, so I could set an example that chastity is not death as our popular culture would try to have all of us believe.

Finally, avoid the “social worker” trap - remember a friendship is a friendship. We all have issues of some kind or another. Friendship is its own gift so if you befriend someone with SSA don’t make the mistake of being condescending. This can be tricky - and I don’t pretend that I’ve never had to make adjustments in my attitudes along the way. But such a friendship can be ultimately rewarding for both parties. God will give you the grace and wisdom to get through the awkward spots if you pray and ask for it.
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Good post!!!👍🙂
 
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