Letting go of the past and forgiving

[Lp1]

This is very personal,and I wouldn’t type it on a public website unless it really bothered me.I’m an 18 year old female girl who has ptsd, so this might be a reason why I feel this way. A couple of years ago, I was involved in alot of drama especially with two boys. One of them whom I had known for awhile and had been friends with started liking me and I became obsessed with it although he was a flirt and flirted with several girls and I became hurt and tried to move on.I tried to comfort one of his friends who was going through a rough time after being rejected by a girl he liked. It turns out, that his friend liked me too and became a little bit obsessed with me. I found out that after them two, their friends liked me also. This made me very self conscious and nervous.The second boy that liked me said alot of innapropriate(sexual) things about me and I’d hear him talk to his friends about it. This greatly surprise me because it’s a good catholic school and he is a good catholic boy. When we went on summer vacation after school I started obsessing over it and got attacked by evil spirits. I was trying to get close to God and I would pray and go to mass alot.I felt like what he said about me was all my fault and I was responsible for it so I became scrupulous. When we got back to school I could tell he was angry with me and he did his best to keep the first boy away from me so he couldn’t be with me.In that year,they both ignored me for the rest of it although the second boy would occasionally talk to me.I was left alone with nobody except my sister.I was very angry about this because not only did he disrespect me, he ignored me which seemed worse.The problem is, I developed feelings for the second boy and occasionally he’d flirt with me but I ignored it because I felt he was playing games with me. He’s really changed and seems closer to God , the problem is I’m still really hurt because I got abandoned in my sorrow and I’m having a hard time forgiving although it was years ago.He doesn’t know I knew he said those things a,d we are more acquaintances than friends yet I can’t forget about him and always pray for him and go to adoration for him I want to let him go and forgive him,yet I don’t know what the tight decision is , can I have advice?

 

[1ke]

This is all pretty typical high school stuff and 18 year old puppy love.

I’d focus on getting help for the PTSD, scruples, and the obsessive nature of your crushes with a competent counselor.

At your age— focus on school and mental health. There is plenty of time for romance later.

 

[edward_george1]

I think 1ke’s advice here is pretty sound. Speak to your priest and to a counselor about these sorts of things. That is the way to go about healing deep wounds such as these.

You are in my prayers.

-Fr ACEGC

 

[Lp1]

I’ve tried to do better in school and I have and forget about it. What’s so bad is that I saw my real dad abuse my mom when I was little and my dad died a couple of years later after a heart condition
She got remarried and my stepdad is emotionally abusive. So I clung to whatever “love” I got because I was neglected as a child because my mom was abused. I just keep feeling like somethings missing in my life, I’ve prayed about it but I don’t know what it is . I cut myself sometimes and am considering suicide because I feel like nothing will ever change and I have to protect my younger sisters from my stepdad. I’m also angry with God for letting my family be abused by not only one, but two men so I have a resentment against them and passive aggressive tendencies

 

[Servant31]

I generally would agree with the above two posters. Certain people and personalities try to “save” others and can drown themselves in the process. I am a “scrupulous” person for the past while, but I wasn’t always that way. A major factor was in dealing with people around me who were quite difficult for years, and trying to take responsibility for our interactions. You can’t control others. You can (and please do) pray for them, set a good example, but don’t get caught in it. Don’t let others to manipulate you. That is their battle and if they aren’t willing to fight it you will only drive yourself insane tryingto do it for them. If there is a lot of drama surrounding everything I tend to think that is a sign that it’s an area God doesn’t want you to be. If it’s affecting your mental health, as it did for me for some time, just get out. There really are better situations for you out there. Some people suffer constructively forGod, but sometimes I think Catholics can fall in love with this suffering and allow bad situations to perpetuate. Focus on faith, good grades, and getting healthy. Search for better and more faith enriching places!

 

[Servant31]

Ps sorry I wrote the above before your second post. I’m sorry to hear about your struggle. I’ll pray a rosary for you today. Some of what you wrote above is a sign of mental health challenges. Many many people face them. Please please do go get help from a liscensed counselor who can help you address them. It really is time in life to pray, to take some time to get your faith, mental health, health and school life in order. Being surrounded by unhealthy people can be very challenging, as often it’s the people around them who suffer. Forgive them quickly, say a couple prayers for them. Then quickly pivot towards good things. DO NOT get caught up in it. Just know there is great life awaiting you. Making good changes in life is good for you. God does not want you to suffer, and others who set a bad example are not representing how a good faith life is. You have a whole community here to help, as well as all if heaven!

 

[Lp1]

Thank you all very much, I really needed to hear this as a process of letting go. The problem was I was depending too much on myself instead of asking for help. My sister had been telling me similar things but I got toovemotional. I know the whole puppy love thing is totally ridiculous and I’ve known it for some time, I wasn’t in love with the person, I was in love with the fantasy of love that I should have seen as a child so I got caught up trying to fill the holes in my heart that were placed there as a child. I really wish I knew God’s will for my life so I can stop making stupid mistakes, and follow his plan. You all are much older and wiser than I am so I was wondering if you could help me find out what it is so I won’t try to think I can save people.

 

[Lee1]

I really wish I knew God’s will for my life so I can stop making stupid mistakes, and follow his plan.

I made stupid mistakes all my life, they were learning opportunities and what I learned would fill many books just as what you have learned could too. Every mistake adds to our wisdom and I know that because…I made mistakes. all we have to do is remember and try not to repeat them.

Gods plan? I waited and waited and waited, let’s face it I waited. And while I was waiting to find out Gods plan I worked, waited, socialised, waited, bought a house, waited again, had one, two, three, four children, waited some more and suddenly I was sixty three. So I’m still ready, I’m waiting…and now I’ve talked to you. So maybe the plan was for me to live as life would have it and while living He would guide my footsteps here and there, all the time bringing me closer to His embrace.

If God wants you to some great task for Him you will know it, in the meantime be proactive, do the small things well and piece by piece you’ll build a life just as I did or even better and one day you’ll see what God had planned for you. A great task for a Catholic is to live as a Catholic, if you can do that well then personally I would say that you would’ve achieved a great and wonderful thing.

If you haven’t already try reading a little of St Therese of Lisieux, the little flower. Her message is a message for most of us I think.
God bless you.