Life threatening if pregnant

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Please help me with this problem that a candidate for RCIA has. She is 33 years old and has lived a very rough life. She is finding herself through the Church and is really coming around. She has two children but has gone through a terrible divorce.
During the last childbirth, the doctor botched the c-section and she has been told that not only her life but her babies life would be at extreme risk.
Right now she is not looking for a relationship and has been schooled in NFP and understands how ovulation signs and markers work. But the fear is there for the possible pregnancy weighs heavily on her mind.
I want to lead her down the right path away from contraception but I can understand her fears. Please help me any way you can. In Christ’s love, Mark
 
Well I would suggest that you speak to her in terms of how the church views human sexuality all around. She knows and understands NFP and she’s not in a serious relationship right now? That’s great, she will have some time to understand the church’s teaching on sexuality before entering into a serious relationship. (And also time to really master her understanding of her body’s signals.) She needs to understand how much God loves her, and understand *why *contraception goes against His plan for marriage.

It is possible to use NFP long term in a situation like this, but I really think the foundation for her would be a Catholic understanding of sex, rather than just understanding what she is and is not allowed to do.
 
menardsguy said:
Please help me with this problem that a candidate for RCIA has. She is 33 years old and has lived a very rough life. She is finding herself through the Church and is really coming around. She has two children but has gone through a terrible divorce.
During the last childbirth, the doctor botched the c-section and she has been told that not only her life but her babies life would be at extreme risk.
Right now she is not looking for a relationship and has been schooled in NFP and understands how ovulation signs and markers work. But the fear is there for the possible pregnancy weighs heavily on her mind.
I want to lead her down the right path away from contraception but I can understand her fears. Please help me any way you can. In Christ’s love, Mark
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www.omsoul.com
 
We are getting the cart waaaaayyyyy in front of the horse.

First, she cannot even think about dating until she knows she is free to marry. That means having her marriage reviewed by the Tribunal.

If the marriage is found to be null, then, she would want to prayerfully consider if she is called to the vocation of marriage. (It may be that she is not called to that vocation, that her state of life would be as a single mother who can devote her time to those kids).

IF she is called to marriage, then, she would be wise to seek out a pro-life doctor who can give her an actual diagnoses (I’d not trust a guy who botched a c-section). I cannot count the number of women who have been told by docs that the c-section put them at risk of death if they get pregnant again, it is almost a standard line for silly women who do not want to be sterilized after baby #2. I would go here for a consult popepaulvi.com/ to doctors who truly embrace the teachings of the Church.

Then, I would follow the docs at PPVI advice from there.
 
I’m in a position right now where it highly advisable for me to not get pregnant for health reasons. Thankfully my health setbacks can change. I’m am making the switch from having my husband use condoms to going to NFP. I will be using the Marquette model, which uses fertility monitors as well as cervical mucous, and I suppose I could temp as well if I wanted. My husband and I will be playing it very safe, and giving my fertile days a wide berth, and I would suggest the same for her.

The fact she is not in a relationship, allows her the time to practice charting and really get to know her body. Once she is in a relationship again (and who knows if she will be), she should be quite familiar with how her body works, and how to successfully prevent pregnancy.

I know far too many people who have conceived on artificial birth control, even when they used it correctly. Condoms break. So, nothing other than abstinence is a sure thing.
 
Why are people here talking about “when she gets into a relationship?” IF she gets a decree of nullity, IF she re-marries, not “when she gets into a relationship!”
 
Castello said:
We are getting the cart waaaaayyyyy in front of the horse.

First, she cannot even think about dating until she knows she is free to marry. That means having her marriage reviewed by the Tribunal.

If the marriage is found to be null, then, she would want to prayerfully consider if she is called to the vocation of marriage. (It may be that she is not called to that vocation, that her state of life would be as a single mother who can devote her time to those kids).

IF she is called to marriage, then, she would be wise to seek out a pro-life doctor who can give her an actual diagnoses (I’d not trust a guy who botched a c-section). I cannot count the number of women who have been told by docs that the c-section put them at risk of death if they get pregnant again, it is almost a standard line for silly women who do not want to be sterilized after baby #2. I would go here for a consult popepaulvi.com/ to doctors who truly embrace the teachings of the Church.

Then, I would follow the docs at PPVI advice from there.
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I completely disagree that she needs to wait to see a pro-life doctor till after she discerns marriage. Her reproductive health is important whether she marries or not.

She should chart beginning immediately and get a good napro doctor that can set a good course for her health. Now.

I’ve been charting for 10 years for my health…and I’m single. Thank God I charted because I discovered things I would not have found otherwise.
 
menardsguy said:
Please help me with this problem that a candidate for RCIA has. She is 33 years old and has lived a very rough life. She is finding herself through the Church and is really coming around. She has two children but has gone through a terrible divorce.
During the last childbirth, the doctor botched the c-section and she has been told that not only her life but her babies life would be at extreme risk.
Right now she is not looking for a relationship and has been schooled in NFP and understands how ovulation signs and markers work. But the fear is there for the possible pregnancy weighs heavily on her mind.
I want to lead her down the right path away from contraception but I can understand her fears. Please help me any way you can. In Christ’s love, Mark
Click to expand...
Forgive me for my lack of knowledge, but isn’t there something applicable regarding contraception if a woman is married and pregnancy would be life threatening to her?
 
Bix said:
Forgive me for my lack of knowledge, but isn’t there something applicable regarding contraception if a woman is married and pregnancy would be life threatening to her?
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Absolutely not. Contraception is an intrinsic evil and is never moral, no matter what the circumstances.

One can use NFP or abstain completely if they need to.
 
Bix said:
Forgive me for my lack of knowledge, but isn’t there something applicable regarding contraception if a woman is married and pregnancy would be life threatening to her?
Click to expand...
No.

Contraception is a moral evil. Always.

The moral options are to abstain completely or to abstain periodically by observing the signs of fertility.
 
Castello said:
We are getting the cart waaaaayyyyy in front of the horse.

First, she cannot even think about dating until she knows she is free to marry. That means having her marriage reviewed by the Tribunal.

If the marriage is found to be null, then, she would want to prayerfully consider if she is called to the vocation of marriage. (It may be that she is not called to that vocation, that her state of life would be as a single mother who can devote her time to those kids).

IF she is called to marriage, then, she would be wise to seek out a pro-life doctor who can give her an actual diagnoses (I’d not trust a guy who botched a c-section). I cannot count the number of women who have been told by docs that the c-section put them at risk of death if they get pregnant again, it is almost a standard line for silly women who do not want to be sterilized after baby #2. I would go here for a consult popepaulvi.com/ to doctors who truly embrace the teachings of the Church.

Then, I would follow the docs at PPVI advice from there.
Click to expand...
Took the words right outta my mouth. 👍
 
menardsguy said:
Please help me with this problem that a candidate for RCIA has. She is 33 years old and has lived a very rough life. She is finding herself through the Church and is really coming around. She has two children but has gone through a terrible divorce.
During the last childbirth, the doctor botched the c-section and she has been told that not only her life but her babies life would be at extreme risk.
Right now she is not looking for a relationship and has been schooled in NFP and understands how ovulation signs and markers work. But the fear is there for the possible pregnancy weighs heavily on her mind.
I want to lead her down the right path away from contraception but I can understand her fears. Please help me any way you can. In Christ’s love, Mark
Click to expand...
Sounds as if she thinks pregnancy is just going to sneak up on her and ambush her! :rolleyes:

Maybe she doesn’t think she can stay chaste outside of marriage? This is up to her. Sure she could get pregnant if she decides to have sex when she isn’t married. Children are the main reason God gave us sex in the first place!

Easy solution: DON’T HAVE SEX!!! I say that tongue in cheek, because I know that people who have not had the anchor of religion in their lives, especially our Church, have no such prohibitions about pre and extra-marital sexual acts.

Remind her that she has the power to stay away from temptations. Give her material on how to stay chaste. It’s the only guarantee, even artificial birth control can fail. Do you think she will continue to use contraception? In that case, she has good reason to worry. Not only for pregnancy, but for STDs. Also, after a divorce, she will be emotionally vulnerable and could easily fall for the wrong sort of man, one that may abuse her and her children.
 
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