Well then Cratus and Lynx, to get back to the subject.
Tezza, between your early and later formation it sounds like your awareness of rules has overshadowed the things like building each other up in our calling (spiritual trading), Holy Spirit power, indwelling Jesus.
For me, though I kind of spiralled away from and towards the Church like you, in my family of origin we have only ever been sketchily aware of rules but highly aware of grace - quite a bit through Protestant friends. (I don’t mix up communion.)
When Jesus talks about leaving our father and mother He is inviting us to constructively critique our background to double check that it isn’t getting us in a bind. Scruples on our own behalf or on others’ isn’t part of His intended destiny for us.
Your desire to keep working on this is precious - don’t let the lamp go out!
Thank you. I would say I was raised in the exact opposite environment so, yes, that makes sense. I would say it’s also part of my temperament. So I sometimes find myself telling God…“Hey, you made me this way!”

My reading of the old testament still seems to speak to the “toe-the-line-as-I-command” part of me, thus my empathy for those who were trying to do just that. As others pointed at, the pharisees had hijacked the law to lord it over the people, so I get that. In the same token, according to the law, the people should have stoned the woman caught in adultery, as commanded by God. I mean, they did stone the guy picking up sticks on the sabbath. Unless the stoners had some insight (which they would not have because they were not divine like Jesus) and could tell the stick guy was saying, “In your face, God! Curse your law! I’m picking up sticks!” while the woman caught in adultery was a wounded, abused woman used by men and then blamed for their actions (which was probably the case) and was not intentionally disobeying the law in an act of defiance, ok then. Of course, Jesus knew this. But those he commanded to carry out the law would not have.
If my understanding is correct from listening to historians like Fr. Mitch, the law was given to an ancient, uncivilized people at a point in time when they needed this structure to develop holiness. At the point when Jesus entered the picture, the peoples were developed enough to received the new covenant, and, by the grace given through Jesus, would be able to “graduate” from the old to the new.
Maybe I’m getting stuck with Jesus’s fulfillment of the law contradicting what his Father had prescribed to the Jews. At least, if I were one of these anti-Christian, Catholic-bashing atheists like Bill Maher, who likes to dissect scripture just to prove points like this, I would kind of see where he was coming from.
Anyway, thanks for the encouragement!
Tezza