Lingerie Question

  • Thread starter Thread starter wmr5613
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
W

wmr5613

Guest
I’ll try to be brief: I struggle with pornography. Today I looked at some lingerie photos of women. No nudity, no pornography. I felt bad for doing so, and so I stopped before things got out of control. I really didn’t feel aroused at all because I felt ashamed of what I was doing and didn’t want to go further down a slippery slope.

Summary: No nudity, no physical action, no physical arousal, but I did purposefully look at scantily clad women.

Was this a mortal sin? My personal feeling is that it’s not - I’ve been battling porn since my teens and I’d call today’s instance a “win” for not sinning worse.

Please give any feedback or correct any incorrect thoughts I have on the issue.
 
Cajun’s advice is good. I’ll add…

Pray and thank God for the grace to stop before things when too far, and ask that he continue to help you grow in virtue.
 
Only you and the priest can answer that. Some people can look at lingerie and feel no arousal at all. So it really depends on how it affects you personally.

And good job on keeping it under control.
 
The grey area here can be frustrating. Since you struggle with the habit, your free will is questionable, and since you were able to stop yourself before it “got worse”, I’d personally say it’s venial. That’s not to say you shouldn’t confess it, because any material like that really is a grave matter.
 
Speak to your priest and stop looking at photos and catalogs of scantily clad women.
 
Personally, I consider this “lingerie browsing” as shifting the borderline towards the sin of impurity. What you’re doing might not be a sin itself – but if you’re really struggling with pornography and all of that filth – it’s certainly moving you closer to it. You’re occupying your mind with small dose of this what you’re addicted to.

I was there many times. And in my case, many times it led me to sin (not only pornography, but furthermore, masturbation). So stopping this one simple “may-even-not-be-a-sin” thingy might be useful in your fight with impurity. Come on, man, cheer up! Go to confession. You’ll be in my prayers, man!
 
(Matthew 5:28-29)
But I say to you, that whosoever shall look on a woman to lust after
her, hath already committed adultery with her in his heart. And
if thy right eye scandalize thee, pluck it out and cast it from thee.
For it is expedient for thee that one of thy members should perish,
rather than that thy whole body be cast into hell.
Click to expand...
Objectively, what you did was gravely sinful. Its wrong to look at a woman to lust after her, whether or not she is naked or just half-naked.

Now, subjectively, perhaps you made a quick decision without really thinking about it, and didn’t know it was wrong at the time, in which case it wouldn’t be a mortal sin. I would still try to make an act of perfect contrition and go to confession if you haven’t already.

But, now that you know it’s a sin, don’t do it again or else it will be mortal!
 
Pornography is as addictive as any drug and more readily available. Worse it’s embraced and celebrated by our self destructive culture.
Moving down the scale of pornography is certainly a good thing, but the act itself (viewing something less than porn but still with some intent to lust) is sinful. Your progress on the road to recovery may look like someone else’s first step on the path of destruction. It’s subjective unfortunately.
Do not settle for “doing better” or “it’s not really a mortal sin” because your will is compromised by addiction. Fight, accept this as a hard victory and take it to confession (face to face, with spiritual direction if possible). Be meticulous and honest with yourself at each confession. Consider your thought life, how gaze may linger and enjoy a view rather than only noticing. Consider your true reasons for watching certain shows or videos on youtube. Be exacting. Pray, fast, but NEVER despair nor denigrate yourself. You’re a child of God, He has better things in mind for you.
Strive for the day where you’ll be free from lusts grip and looking at something like this will sicken you. You’re clearly fighting the good fight, don’t fall into scrupulosity over every glance or near miss. You’re growing in virtue, even when you stumble. But do take the fight seriously and commit to eradicate this vice from your life.
I recommend the victory app, and the podcast “love people use things.” Read the Porn Myth by Matt Fradd. Immerse yourself in the culture of chastity and recovery.
Signed- A fellow porn addict and Child of God.
 
Did you come across these pictures by accident (eg ads) or did you seek them out?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top