Live and let live?

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BKulash_eski

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I have been doing a lot of self reflecting lately. I pray for God to open my heart to his love that I may repent of my sins. I believe that I need to make amends with people from my past. With the help of the social networks it would be easy to find them. My dilema is that if they have already made their peace with the situations would I be stirring up things better left alone(old girlfriends, and such)?
 
Do not go down that path. Do not contact people from your past. Just leave it alone.
 
1ke said:
Do not go down that path. Do not contact people from your past. Just leave it alone.
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Agreed.

If we all did this considering how many people we have all sinned against… nobody would ever do anything constructive. We only have to ask one person to forgive us our sins.
 
I struggled with this for a while, too. But the above posters are correct. The best thing to do is move on. If it continues to bother you, talk to a priest about it.

I was convinced that I should write letters to several people I harmed during my time away from the Church, but every priest I spoke to about it, told me it wasn’t a good idea. Ask God for forgiveness, move on. And if He truly desires that you apologize to someone, He will provide you that opportunity.
 
smichhertz said:
I struggled with this for a while, too. But the above posters are correct. The best thing to do is move on. If it continues to bother you, talk to a priest about it.

I was convinced that I should write letters to several people I harmed during my time away from the Church, but every priest I spoke to about it, told me it wasn’t a good idea. Ask God for forgiveness, move on. And if He truly desires that you apologize to someone, He will provide you that opportunity.
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That priest gave some very wise advice. If God gives you the opportunity to make amends, then do it. Otherwise let it be.
 
1ke said:
Do not go down that path. Do not contact people from your past. Just leave it alone.
Click to expand...
I agree. I was in this situation last night before I went to bed thinking about my past and my sins of the flesh with my stupid choices I made that are long gone(confessed). I actually thought to myself…“why am I doing this to myself” thinking of my old sins. What good does it do me. I know whats wrong now and I know it was wrong and I can’t change this. Any person with knowledge of forgiveness will understand this and accept that we all make mistakes and there comes a point where we have to really move on. There’s a difference between sinning and living in sin. I’m trying hard not to do both. Focus on Jesus now…Times have changed
 
Yes, I have a murky past (confessed) from when I drifted away from the faith, and I have tortured myself over the hurt I caused, the scandal I caused, etc. Sometimes I feel it would be easier to take out an ad to apologise to all the people for my bad example.

Anyway, what I did to make amends, and boy was it hard - anyone who was still in my life that would have been affected by my behaviour, I have apologised to, or in another case, told them of my re-conversion and how I realised I was a bad example. The others, I genuinely can’t contact, I’ve had to place my trust in God’s mercy.
 
I guess you should listen to your preist on this, but my opinion is that if you hurt them and never apologized then its a good idea to go ahead and apologize. I would appreciate an apology if I was in that situation. It might make you both feel better.
 
I have been to confession and I think that the best advice is to let God play his part. I trust he has forgiven me, and to bring up what I want to apologize for, out of the blue, seems like it could cause more harm than good. If I see these people though, I will take that opportunity to ask for to hear my apology and forgivein their time.
 
trials said:
Yes, I have a murky past (confessed) from when I drifted away from the faith, and I have tortured myself over the hurt I caused, the scandal I caused, etc. Sometimes I feel it would be easier to take out an ad to apologise to all the people for my bad example.

Anyway, what I did to make amends, and boy was it hard - anyone who was still in my life that would have been affected by my behaviour, I have apologised to, or in another case, told them of my re-conversion and how I realised I was a bad example. The others, I genuinely can’t contact, I’ve had to place my trust in God’s mercy.
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I’ve been going through exactly the same thing. I’m very much ashamed of how i was up til a couple of years ago and I’m certain I was a bad influence on several people. I have confessed everything I could remember about the murky years and have closed that chapter of my life. Whenever people are surprised by my curent state in life I explain that I have changed and seek to be a good Christian. Some find it weird and ridicule me, some find it inspiring. It is a very humbling experience I have to say.

Basically, if you have confessed it and seriously changed, just move on. I’m sure there will be opportunities for you to explain/apologise to people you have hurt or scandalised. But don’t push it, it is not necessary to do that.
 
Offer some charitable work or almsgiving to put some good into circulation. It doesn’t make amends directly, but it restores charity in the overall organism. Perhaps relate it to the sin you favored–such as, if it was sexual sin, donate some money and/or service to a pro-life crisis pregnancy center. 🙂
 
One thing that may be something to do if you feel strongly about the past transgressions is to write letters to each of the individuals or one large letter to all and then destroy it. Might at least make you feel a little better to get it off your chest. Otherwise I agree with everyone else by letting it ride and hope to do better starting now…or at least when you originially wrote this post.
 
I too have struggled with this…Seems to be a fairly common condition as we move forward in holiness.
Something that has not been mentioned is this…Those whom you have hurt may well still bein contact with “mutual friends” or aquaintences…They may learn of your change of heart and even of your sorrow for past hurts through them…This is another way that God works to reconsile.
I had this happen to me as I came back to the Church. I worried about past family issues. In talking with a family member, I found that things were OK and that everyone had moved on. I still feel horrible for the sins of my past and the hurt I caused, but I know I was right not to re-open old wounds.

Peace
James
 
I just feel that as we enter into a new age where it is easy to find those we have lead astray, that God would want us to do diligent in repenting. Not that if it were a relationship that became intimate wrongly, to try to make it intamate wrongly again, but to acnowledge that it was not suppose to be that way, that there was something that was suppose to be, but that by ignoring that and sinning, against God, it may had been lost. Perhaps we can figure out what it was God wanted to be there and help his will be done. My belief is that any help we do to correct our turning away would please God and displease that which won a battle.
 
I will often pray a decade of my rosary or the of the divine mercy chaplet for those who I have harmed through my sins, directly or indirectly, for what I have done or have failed to do. I will ask the Blessed Virgin to pray for these who have been affected by my sins directly or indirectly, or in the case of the Divine Mercy Chaplet, I bring these people to Him that they may be procurred of His Mercy.
 
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