Living an elegant, simple life = vanity?

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Hello all,

I wanted to get your thoughts on living life “elegantly” each day. Allow me to explain. I am someone who finds beauty in living the simple life and I very much enjoy being “elegant” in the sense that I love fashion and personal style, self care, even sometimes liking to be “extra” in terms of style and living without being stuffy about it, etc etc. I always take time in my appearance and the way I present myself and I enjoy embracing my femininity. I also think it’s possible to live each day this way - indulging yourself even in little things (but not too much) - and by doing so, it will have a positive effect on your mental, spiritual and even physical health. This also goes beyond taking care of your physical appearance - including running a good, clean home, being good and helpful to others, etc. (To me, living elegant encompasses many aspects our lives, not just ourselves.)

My only concern with doing this is the idea of letting it become too self-indulgent or vain. I do not intend for it to be, and I don’t foresee it being a problem for me, as I really just want to take care of myself and live life well and to the fullest, even amidst the small things. I also believe that there should be some good balance with mortification, to keep us in check… for example, I sometimes will fast on certain days during the week. I think it’s good to remind ourselves that the pleasures of life aren’t to be taken for granted.

All this being said, does anyone have thoughts on this? Where is the line to be drawn between enjoying life and not taking too much pleasure in it?

Hope this makes some sense, sorry it was so long-winded. Thanks and God bless!
 
If you’re putting God first, then the needs of others second, then you’re prolly good to go 🙂
 
Just a couple of questions to help put things in perspective for me. How old are you? Are you married? The answers could make a difference in members answer here.
 
Vanity means to have your cares and your priorities on things that don’t matter.

So you would do a self-reflection or an examination of conscience and ask yourself if the accessory things in your life are distracting or getting in between you and God. If the answer is ‘no’ then it is fine, and if the answer is ‘yes’ then it is a problem.
 
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St. Gregory of Nissa says we will be judged by the Law of Gift. We have received the gifts of tbe Holy Spirit through Baptism, all 7 of them. Due to our sins we have lost some of them in our lifetime.
The gifts of the Holy Spirit are above conscience but do not replace it. Conscience is when you feel something you are doing is not enough, or even wrong. Any human being has conscience, Christian or not. We the Christian should fulfill this immediately, like the Apostles did. If our conscience is knocking at our door we mudt increase charity, spiritual or physical.
Maybe you feel too little like I do. We cannot feel little, Christ has covered us in Glory at Baptism. When our conscience beckons at us it is a.knock above the beckoning on a non-Christian because of our gifts we must answer immediately, like the Apostles did when Christ collected them.
If you feel like you aren’t doing enough then maybe you definitely need to find out what God wants you to do.
I tried the simple life but it just didn’t work out and I thought I was pure evil. Then I found I just have to do more and step outside my shell because of the Great Gift I have received at Baptism. And this helped me, not in a threatenibg way, but in an explanatory way, as in why the simple life did not work for me, why did I still felt “needed” or “ridden by other needs”.
Some people find this part of Christianity exaggerated or nasty, I admit sometimes I do too, but I also find it helpful. I have received a lot, I must give back a lot. God doesn’t care about my hairstyle or clothes. He just doesn’t. He lived me at my worst and I only found out He has always loved me when I decided to just let go for a while.
I hope my rant makes sense.
Going reckless, since I have no kids to worry about, really helped me understand about how afraid I was back when I thought of having everything under control.
 
It truly seems like you are moderate and virtuous in your behavior. You are also always keeping on guard which is good.
 
Thank you for your thoughtful response. You may be onto something in regards to not feeling like I’m “enough” - that is something I always deal with, even when I know it’s not true. I do think that God would like me to give more of myself in some ways, and I’ve realized that those helpless/insignificant feelings I have sometimes could be because I am not deeply rooted in Our Lord. This is something I am aware of try to strike a balance in in my every day life - placing God first in all things.
 
This begs another question that I’ve pondered - is it possible to be both virtuous and have a love for fashion/style? I think this is more of a rhetorical question and that I know it is possible, but comes with risks so we have to be smart about it and not let our self-image cloud our judgement on things.
 
Today I found great release into finally giving her some money to this gypsy woman who is always begging outside our church. I knew she was a fraud when she asked me for money after I was exiting the church even though I had just gave ger 10 minutes ago. The feeling of release, the feeling of just realizing that I don’t care if she is a scam or not was well worth giving her the first time.
Sometimes we have to let go just to be clarified methinks. The world today is very rational, even Christianity. We try to make or fix a system. But Christ said He has chosen the fools to shame the wise.
Maybe there is some sorta foolishness without sin that you need. Just to see the life as if life at its parts did not matter.
God is truly present on the part of fools, this much I can witness for.
Stop worrying.
 
In my experience, people in their 20s sweat the small stuff way too much. I remember worrying in my 20s that I had sold out to evil capitalist greed when I bought my own cappuccino machine because I really liked cappuccino at night and didn’t want to only have it when I could get to a proper coffee shop, which was a project then because there were very few coffee shops that sold it (Starbucks had not opened on every other corner then).

If you’re careful about your purchases, don’t overspend your budget, and don’t have family members with needs going unmet because you bought a trendy suit, don’t worry about it. There are plenty of saints who didn’t exactly go around in rags, sackcloth, or habits, and still managed to get canonized or beatified. Two that come to my mind are St Thomas More and Blessed Karl of Austria. There are many others.

Also, your priorities may change with age.
 
Yes, it is ok to like fashion. Im pretty sure a woman married saint was canonized recently who loved fashion. As long as it is moderate and modest. It is normal and good for a woman to want to look beautiful and dress nice.
 
But are we not enjoined to do as said in Matthew 19:21 - "Jesus saith to him: If thou wilt be perfect, go sell what thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come follow me. " (Douay-Rheims)
 
Tis_Bearself said:
I remember worrying in my 20s that I had sold out to evil capitalist greed when I bought my own cappuccino machine
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:grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes: That is one of the funniest things I have read on CAF. Brilliant. The angst of youth. :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:
 
It could be something to talk about with your spiritual director if you have one 🙂 Simple is good,elegant is good .
In order to help others well it helps to have our own lives in some kind of order.All the best ,OP!
 
abbap said:
This begs another question that I’ve pondered - is it possible to be both virtuous and have a love for fashion/style? I think this is more of a rhetorical question and that I know it is possible, but comes with risks so we have to be smart about it and not let our self-image cloud our judgement on things.
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Fashion need not be expensive or wasteful - many fashionable people will hunt thrift shops to find their clothing and accessories.

And it can be a form of self-expression like other arts such as music, painting or the like. Nothing wrong with self expression
 
Provided it is moderated and modest, fashion is actual a morally good thing (not just neutral). You’re doing your part by good example to counteract the crudeness, to put it nicely, of the general culture. Use your best judgement, but you sound like you’re fine. If you’re really concerned, you could ask a close friend or family member if they get the sense of vanity from you. If they don’t, then I wouldn’t worry either.
 
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