living in sin?

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oregonbassist

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I just recently came into the Catholic Church. I didn’t grow up going to church at all. I have been living with my Fiancee for a few years now and we have a son together (before I joined the Church). Her and I do plan on getting married but just haven’t yet. Is it required that we stay abstinant until we are married?
 
Congratulations on becoming catholic!

You must always remain chaste, abstain from all sexual relations, until you are married in the church. What is keeping you from getting married sooner? You already support each other and this child, you seem to love each other too.
 
You said you recently joined the Church. Did you tell your priest that you are not married but are living together? I just wonder why he didn’t counsel you about that even before you became a Catholic.
Talk to your priest and get that matter settled so you and your family can continue to move forward. Have you had your baby baptized? Good luck to all of you and God bless you.
 
oregonbassist said:
I just recently came into the Catholic Church. I didn’t grow up going to church at all. I have been living with my Fiancee for a few years now and we have a son together (before I joined the Church). Her and I do plan on getting married but just haven’t yet. Is it required that we stay abstinant until we are married?
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Yes.
 
We haven’t gotten married yet because of finances. My fiancee’s uncle just spent 18000 dollars on his wedding. I dont have that kind of money. We did get our son baptized. My priest did know thte situation when I joined the Church. He never said anything to me about it so I never thought much about it until some friends of mine said something.
 
Just because someone else spent an insane amount of money on a wedding does not mean that weddings cost that much.

A marriage license is what, $50 bucks?

You call your Priest and ask to set up a time to get married, you dress in your Sunday clothes and you get married. It would be nice to gve the Priest a few dollars as a gift.

That is it - VIOLA - you are married!
 
oregonbassist said:
We haven’t gotten married yet because of finances. My fiancee’s uncle just spent 18000 dollars on his wedding. I dont have that kind of money. We did get our son baptized. My priest did know thte situation when I joined the Church. He never said anything to me about it so I never thought much about it until some friends of mine said something.
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Your priest did you a real disservice in not urging you to rectify your situation. You are already a daddy, it’s time to step up and do right by the mother of your child. kage_ar is right, there is absolutely no need to spend $18,000 on a wedding! That is just extravagant. No reason you cannot just have a small, simple wedding with a cake and punch reception afterwards. Don’t let our society’s messed-up perception of what a wedding is supposed to be like, stop you from doing the right thing. Talk to your priest ASAP.
 
I just had a friend get married.

They got their marriage license for $30.00.
Her dress was just a white summer dress from GAP.
He wore a tan suit he already owned.
Went to Church and got married.
Had cupcakes and punch at her parents’ house immediately following.

They had 15 people there.
 
Get married! Like the previous posters have said, it doesn’t cost much money. If your “financee” (I don’t consider anyone to be engaged without a ring and a date, barring unusual circumstances) wants an $18,000 RECEPTION then that is a problem since you can’t do that. But you could go and get married pretty much immediately, rectifying your sinful situation, or you could remain chaste until you can save up the money for a dream wedding. OR you could postpone the reception and do that when you can afford it. But no reason not to get married right away if that is what you both want:thumbsup:
 
Talk to your priest. Remain abstinent until you can be married. It only costs a lot of money if you are trying to impress someone. A simple wedding is great. That way you can spend more money on a honeymoon.🙂

Also find out if you will have to take pre-cana classes. Some classes stretch over a sixth month period. In your situation, the priest might wave this requirement.

My nephew didn’t want to go through all the classes so he sort of cheated. He went to a JP to get legally married and didn’t consummate the marriage until he had it blessed a month later. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
 
I don’t really know much about marriages or how much they cost. I think that we will have to do the marriage prep clases. We have decided to be abstinent until we can get married. I’m really encouraged that all marriages don’t cost thousands of dollars. I’m just finally starting to get myself to a place where i’m debt free. I’m not really interested in going thousands of dollars back into the hole. I really appreciate everyone’s responses, you have been very encouraging. right now we’re living in two different states but once I move we will start the marriage ball rolling as fast as possible.
 
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