Living the worst scene that I imagine from me this year

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Tecnologgamer

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Yesterday I was expecting that I could have a little of hope about a job that I was wanted so much, however like always, I’m not get it. I graduated from school and I striving for self taugh to learn art (I do pixel art until the moment) and be game developer, I striving to earn money with games for real, but until the moment I couldn’t make money with the games I made and not could get a freelancer/job with my main task because I’m insufficient, so I was looking for jobs that could not take so much from my time. No for just it, I like to study other things like my our faith, history, math, etc. But the sad reality is:

In Brazil u work like a slave, people which live in Sao Paulo or another big cities need to wake 5 a.m or more sooner to take a bus to go to other side of town and back 20 p.m, so you cannot raise your childs, you don’t live and you spent 30 years of your life between the job and sleeping basically. I was looking some job that I could do near where I live, or that doesn’t need to do in 8 hours and many opportunities appears to me, but I could’nt get anyone, yesterday I receive another no and this devastate me so much, it’s was like my Rosaries was useless, all my trust was lost.

I"m taken to belive God doesn’t want it for me, even I desire much and have the willpower to strive for this, I’m problem to see God like someone who can help me (maybe because I suffer from scrupulosity) so I belive that I’m still paying for scars of my sins and that I’m only need to pray for my spiritual life while I cannot expect no help from this world because everytime I was hoping that I could get a job which clearly shows advantage to me ( time, to be close where I live) I cannot get, even begging for help in my rosaries, I’m feel being forsaken by God. And then there is another problem that I have that is been shooted by thoughts, since the moment that I wake until I sleep again many thoughts come from my head and I need to avoid to pray, to work, thoughts about the past, my head suddenly creating situations and I living them, depeding how my mood is I have thoughts of anger, revenge and this follow me until the end of the day, so I cannot get concentrated as other in my praies, I need to focus on my words while my mind try to trick me with these distractions, but yesterday I concerned in a though when I saw a post of a job where will consome a lot of my time, but it’s will give me a little time and then it’s just pass through my mind "I bet I can get this because God love by f#@ me"*, because it’s was seeded in my mind that I was get fooled to expect it, and I feel like is someone get mocked me.
 
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I was really anger and I’m really do know in what to trust, I don’t know if I can expected material help from Him, because If I could’nt get helped in a little sample, how can I expect be attended in great things that He knows that I waiting for the moment to ask, because I know my salvation comes first. I belive God could help, but He not interfere like the protestant said about all is His will, because they deny free freedom and resume us like toys for God to play. I’m living the worst situation that I imagine for me last year in this year and I don’t know what to do, I just losting faith and I barely complete 1 year of my baptism.
 
I do not know what goes on in your life. I cannot tell you if your situation will improve. Nor can I tell you if you will get the job you want.

The only thing I can give you is a warning. Many Catholics have fallen from the faith due to the various burdens life puts on them. Don’t be like them. Just as a Wise man learns from the mistakes of others, so to should you learn from their mistake. For what is a mere <100 years on earth compared to a life in heaven?

As for your bad thoughts, don’t worry about them. These thoughts are only a sin if you willingly choose to entertain them instead of rejecting and ignoring them. Every Catholic gets thoughts like these once in a while. Just ignore them and your good.
 
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Julius said:
I do not know what goes on in your life. I cannot tell you if your situation will improve. Nor can I tell you if you will get the job you want.
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Until now is okay, I have a confort, but until when?

I already have pass through this situation many times, I’m familiarized with this cliff, many times I would leave, but fortunally I’m haven’t guts to leave the Church, even knowing who am I. It’s quite tempting be protestant sometimes because all your material problems you can guilty the devil or evil spirits and the homility from the mass seems more a mere protestant sermon than a catholic view.
Julius said:
For what is a mere <100 years on earth compared to a life in heaven?
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I know, but what is the meaning of stay so long on earth?
Julius said:
These thoughts are only a sin if you willingly choose to entertain them instead of rejecting and ignoring them. Every Catholic gets thoughts like these once in a while. Just ignore them and your good.
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I see, thank you. But I don’t know if what I though yesterday despite my bad mood was a sin and I ashamed to go back soon earlier to confession again (less than one week).
 
Tecnologgamer said:
But I don’t know if what I though yesterday despite my bad mood was a sin and I
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In order for a sin to be mortal, it must meet three conditions:
  • Mortal sin is a sin of grave matter
  • Mortal sin is committed with full knowledge of the sinner
  • Mortal sin is committed with deliberate consent of the sinner

    This means that mortal sins cannot be done “accidentally.” A person who commits a mortal sin is one who knows that their sin is wrong, but still deliberately commits the sin anyway. This means that mortal sins are “premeditated” by the sinner and thus are truly a rejection of God’s law and love."
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This should help you. It’s up to you to find out if you committed a sin or not. Don’t be ashamed to go to confession either. Is a cancer patient ashamed to get life saving treatment?

You seem to be very scrupulous. I believe this Article may help you out.
 
I talked to him, he told me that there two will: mine and the God. I don’t know, but, that means no matter who effort I put, I cannot do it because God doesn’t allow it? So there is no free will?
 
I cannot do it because God doesn’t allow it? So there is no free will
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Predestination and free-will Moral Theology
All men without exception are predestined to grace, since Jesus died for all. Those who remain faithful—at least to the natural law of the Good—are predestined to glory. Thus at the end of the ages, each one who has lived as a just man, will have his reward. God knows from eternity those who are destined for glory before they are born into life—that is, “predestined”. Pay attention, then, for here is the point for understanding with justice the justice of God. There are those who are predest…
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This post should help you.
 
So this doesn’t have sense with the material things? Like, the predestination to the grace doesn’t implict I cannot deny this, but since God knows the future and he knows those who will do for free will follow your grace.

So this bad thing which happen with the there not to do about God, but make part of this world and since God doesn’t intefere in human action, is not His fault.

Then is fake that God “give me” something (like be able to draw) and because of Your will I’m will not work with?
 
Then is fake that God “give me” something (like be able to draw) and because of Your will I’m will not work with?
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As for that I don’t know. God is a mystery and his plan is even more mysterious. All I know is that God doesn’t want to make our life easier. God wants to save our souls first.
 
Game developers and artists are two tough careers to get into. A lot of competition and it’s hard to make a living. While you didn’t get this job that you wanted, it’s possible a different job is literally right around the corner. If you had taken this one, you wouldn’t be available for the job you are supposed to have. But also keep in mind because you are pigeonholed into two rather difficult career choices, you might need to have a different job as a main money maker and do the development and art on the side until you get a ‘break through’. I know two people (one friend, one family member) of each of these careers that both had amazing talent but both had to get ‘other jobs’ to earn a living. The game developer even had a part in a very very very well known company that produced a game but even that wasn’t the break through he needed to be able to make a living at it.

Give yourself time to grieve the position you didn’t get… but then pick yourself back up. And for the record, people all over the world have jobs where they have to get up at 5:am and not get home til late - not just Brazil. My own husband gets up at 3:30 and 4:30 each day (either one depending on the day) and gets home around 18:00 or 19:00. That’s just life! 🙂 You are angry… but it will get better!!!
 
Does your husband is catholic, too? Doesn’t this bother you for he stay so much away from home that even doesn’t had time to pray the Rosary or stay with you or your childrens (if you have).
 
CoffeeCatholic said:
Game developers and artists are two tough careers to get into. A lot of competition and it’s hard to make a living. While you didn’t get this job that you wanted, it’s possible a different job is literally right around the corner. If you had taken this one, you wouldn’t be available for the job you are supposed to have. But also keep in mind because you are pigeonholed into two rather difficult career choices, you might need to have a different job as a main money maker and do the development and art on the side until you get a ‘break through’.
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I agree entirely with this.

And also, lots of people in the United States work very long hours all around the clock. In hospitals and clinics, the COVID-19 pandemic has created a need for people to work overtime because of chronic short-staffing–I have worked many 12-hour days during this pandemic so far, and if it continues, I expect that I will work more long days. And I often get to work by 5:00 a.m.–many health care workers do 12-hour shifts on a regular basis.

But other professions in the U.S. work long hours, too. My brother is a welder, and when there is a big contract, he and his co-workers will sometimes work around the clock, with short naps in their lunch room, to get the job done. Firefighters work long, hard hours at a dangerous job, and policemen work night shifts in some of the most crime-ridden cities in the country.

And then there are farmers who are often up all night with ill livestock, or planting/picking corn or beans, or other tasks that cannot be accomplished in 8 hours during the day.

Families adjust. Sometimes when a parent works long hours, the family is actually closer and more loving because they make use of every moment when they are all together.

So stop complaining about hard work and long hours, and prepare to be like many other Americans!

One of the problems that I can see as to why you are not being hired for a job in an “artistic” field is your rather poor English. I apologize for being so blunt, but I think you need a wake-up call, and probably need to learn better English, and find an American friend who can help you with written applications. It’s not prejudice against you–if a company needs people who speak/write excellent English, they won’t hire you. Sorry, but work on that. Creating games is not a good way to learn better English. You have to be with other English-speaking people to learn better English.

But be encouraged There are lots of jobs where language doesn’t matter. I suggest that you put your artistic goals on hold and work on creative/artistic projects in your spare time, and find a job that you can work at 8 or more hours a day (you’re young enough to be doing long shifts without physical pain), and work hard at that job so that you can earn a good employment record and strong recommendations from your employer. When you have a year or two of good, hard work and a good reputation with your employer, you will be in a better position to apply for a job in an artistic (gaming) company.

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My suggestions for jobs that you should consider are the jobs that are currently begging for more employees: janitorial and housekeeping, fast-food restaurants (drive through and curbside delivery), and if you are licensed to drive, various delivery services like Amazon (these companies are adding tens of thousands of employees to deliver the products that Americans do not want to shop for in real stores anymore).

If you are not licensed to drive, GET licensed to drive! Even if you don’t own a car.

I would also suggest putting in an application at any local hospital near you–employees who speak two languages are very valuable and are often asked to interpret when patients do not speak good English. Your English is good enough to be able to do this very important task, and also, hospitals have a lot of need for housekeeping services right now. Usually hospitals pay well, and the people who work there are friendly. And…it’s possible that your artistic talents might be useful and needed in a hospital, especially in the pediatric unit.
Good luck to you! Keep the faith, and don’t give up.
 
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