Living with a hypocrite

[Liz9]

My husband presents as orthodox & exemplary Catholic family man. We have been married 16 years & have 5 kids. We have financial problems & not getting better. My husband has spending problems and has developed drinking problem. I am getting hopeless. I will never split up the family. But I need help. I feel so lonely and when I try to talk to him about the problems we face he just gets defensive and says I’m not faithful enough. He is ruining my faith, because I feel he uses it to boost his pride and condemn me for questioning him. I should pray but I’m so angry.

 

[Carmelite1983]

Know of my prayers for you.
My wife and I also have different faith journeys and it can be tough at times.

 

[tweedlealice]

Blessings Liz,
You are not looking w the eyes of God. You are seeing Satan’s handiwork. Try not to disrespect your spouse. We are all imperfect sinners, trying to build our dynasty, requiring forgiveness…
Categorize your problems. 1-finances?
2-stress that is having your husband drink & spend. 3- Your attraction to him is affected b/c of your disappointment. So, Focus on yourself & Your responsibilities. Say positive things to him. Share old photos of your wedding day, etc Reclaim his attn. After a week or so. Around a payday, show him lists of things needed. Go shopping together.
He is restless & discontent. If you have kids, I hope they are behaving. You don’t need extra stress.
A clean, organized home brings calm. He’s concerned about things as you are but he’s drinking & spending.
You can ask for counseling. Does Orthodoxy have confession & offer counseling w priest?!
You are facing a bump in your road of life. Never say Divorce. Say FIx IT!
What came first? The chicken or the egg? A problem popped up, he’s drinking. OR he’s drinking, making a problem. Things can get fragile at work & his company might be closing. Sears is closing. I DK what He does?
Communication is lacking! I’m
Sorry!
Seek ye first, the Kingdom of God, & everything else will be added unto you.
All things are possible w Christ, Jesus, our Lord, who strengthens us. God is not the author of confusion but of a sound mind.
A husband is to love his wife, as Jesus loved His church, even to die for her. A wife is to desire her husband (In Genesis, after Adam & Eve left Eden.). A wife is to RESPECT her husband. (Ephesians 5: 21-33.) It never says a wife is to love her husband. Just DESIRE (HMMM ) & RESPECT. FUNNY HUH! But the husband is to LOVE US, even as Christ loved His church.
Father God, You know the situation. Open their eyes & hearts to reconcile in Spirit & solve these Problems. Thank you, Jesus.
Blessed Mother continue our prayer to Your Son. Jesus present this situation to the Father for help. Heal the confused .& broken hearted. .
Thank You
In Jesus name
Amen

 

[Lee1]

Do pray. Pray to Our Lady to help both of you, you might ask that an angel abides with you in your house to help bring peace and harmony to your marriage again. Also ask your own guardian angel to pray for you and to help guide you day to day.

You might also offer up your present suffering to help others, here or in purgatory.

It may help if you could convince your husband to accompany you to have a chat with your priest about things. Or perhaps you could try to see a counsellor.

God knows your plight, have no doubts. We are promised that all we need do is ask and it shall be given, I pray your faith increases and brings you peace in your heart amidst your troubles.
God bless.

 

[AdamP88]

It sounds like you need to get marriage counselling. I know it must be hard for you but also consider that we are all hypocrites in some way. We never fully live up to the things we may preach 100% of the time.

I do think you need to challenge your husband’s view of marriage a little and maybe try to shake him out of his current perception of the situation. And do pray for him.

 

[crenfro]

Sometimes Al-Anon can help - it is for relatives & friends of people who have a drinking problem.

 

[Legend]

More than half of the problems like yours have their root cause in the one partner’s choice to abuse alcohol. Don’t try to talk to your husband about serious issues when he’s been drinking. If he physically abuses you or your children, it’s a no brainer…you have to move out. He has to realize that he can’t use alcohol. Pray for the best, but prepare for the worst. You really should be seeing a marriage counselor at this point.