Loneliness - how do you deal with it?

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I am a father of a 6 month old baby and husband to a wonderful wife. I am 37. I am blessed in this new role and enjoying it. However, even before my baby was born and when I started to follow God more closely some years ago, I have struggled with loneliness. Friends have walked away and that is a blessing in a way since I don’t do a lot of the same activities any more (drinking hard for example) or have the same conversations or humor. My siblings seem to have gotten distant too and I find I can’t relate to them much anymore. I have struggled to meet Catholics especially young adults. I am longer for more intimate connections rooted in faith but this is a challenge. I suppose I don’t pray enough for it and I should. If any of you experience this - how do you deal with it? Thanks.
 
Is there anything at your parish you can join, even if it is not in your age group? It will help you make friends with like minded people, people that share your interest in following God and living their faith.

i know this doesn’t help you out now, but once your child starts attending school, you will again have opportunities to meet other people. I found a lot of my friends when my children were in (Catholic) school. We were new to the area, and it was a great tool to make friendships. i still maintain them, even when my children have grown, and are not in contact with their friends any longer.
 
Totally agree with irishmom2 you might ask your priest about groups active in the parish. The SVP is often only too glad to have new members as is the Legion of Mary, and there are usually parish committees to join or groups who fund raise. Even maintenance groups can help with your need to reduce loneliness, cutting the grass or perhaps some general gardening.

Once you meet one or two people you could suggest starting your own small fraternity just to chat about scripture or Catholic related issues.

Until then you could always post a little on this forum, lots of friendly people to talk to and you can share your ideas too?

🙂
 
Hi Brian I read and reread your post.You are blessed with a wonderful family. It made me think how could you be lonely with such a rich and what seems to be a full life.Even with God in your life you feel lonely… I think maybe there is more going on and you carry a heavy weight. Your friends walking way was not so much the problem, I think the fact that you sopped drinking was a big giant step in your life. As you said you don’t connect anymore with the conversations etc… Have you thought maybe the drinking may have been a big factor in your life. Yet you had the courage to walk away from it and turn to God… I had a friend who pretty much did the same thing.Stay on track, talk to your priest, , talk to the wonderful wife you have. Put everything in God’s Hands, trust in Him and He will show you the Way. God bless and keep you close
 
Does your local parish have a men’s group. It could be a great way to meet like minded males of the same age as well as a great way to grow in faith.

I must point out that it’s not just males you may meet eventually you will meet there wives and families and they could become quite close family friends.
 
Hi Anna. I haven’t drank hard in almost 5 years or so. When I did drink, I am sure it was for all the wrong reasons as I don’t really like the taste of alcohol. I don’t think many people actually do? haha. Anyways, I do feel like I carry a heavy weight. I sometimes feel that God wants me to be more instrumental in evangelizing. So I struggle with the HOW? I need to pray more over this and listen better.
 
Thanks Brendea. Something that has been on my mind is to start a Young Adults program at my Church. I will be talking to the pastor there this Thursday about it. I am hoping that something comes out of it.
 
Brian I agree with Brendea that is a great idea. May the Holy Spirit guide you…God bless you.
 
anna said:
It made me think how could you be lonely with such a rich and what seems to be a full life.
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New babies and the changes of parenthood can be quite isolating and make people who are still quite happy a bit lonely. It doesn’t seem odd to me.

Edit: but I reread and you’re right that doesn’t sound like the cause.
 
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Loneliness is a terrible burden and I’m not sure how to deal with it myself. I don’t really have any friends or acquaintances that I can interact with more than once or twice a month. I pretty much just stay at home because I can’t think of anything I want to go do by myself and thus the circle repeats.
 
Hello.

Some random thoughts:

One thing that helps me is to go to Mass & confession once a week. That helps with peace of heart, which helps the loneliness feel less intense. Another thing is to find hobbies. Another thing is to ask God what He wants of you. Have you considered visiting someone in a nursing home?

I see though that you & your wife just had a baby. That’s a difficult time. Is this your first? That in itself is quite an adjustment.

Have you considered joining the Knights of Columbus?

Also what helps is to read up on it. Therapy also helps. I think loneliness almost or is an epidemic in the US.

I think that we’re probably always going to be lonely in this world, because St. Augustine said that our hearts are restless until we’re with God.
 
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