Longing to become a Catholic

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IanAG

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I have been on a journey of faith for the past twenty four years since giving my life to Christ at 36. Although my journey has been in the Protestant tradition, I have read much Catholic writing and teaching and have also incorporated many Catholic practices into my spiritual life. I am a Franciscan Tertiary in the Anglican Order.

Over the past few years I have felt an increasing pull to commit wholeheartedly to the Catholic faith which I now see as the true church. I feel that I should lay the ground for a return of my family to the Catholic faith.

Unfortunately though I have two obstacles.

Firstly, I was married and divorced in my pre Christian life. The divorce was quite acrimonious and my ex wife and I have not spoken for many years. I have been told that to become a Catholic I would need to have this marriage nullified, which would require the involvement of my ex wife. Knowing her, I’m sure she would oppose this just to spite me.

Secondly, I’m in very poor health with very serious mental and physical illnesses. I don’t think I could go through the process of annulment without causing significant further harm to my health.

Could anyone offer me any advice?
 
I think a talk with a priest would be in order.

Meanwhile, maybe @1ke or @acanonlawyer could chime in.

My (maybe defective) understanding is that the cooperation of your ex-wife is not required in order for the process to follow its course. She will have to be informed, but the tribunal will proceed even if she does not respond. I’m not sure what would happen if she fights in order to defend the bond.
 
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I know nothing about these matters but if the Lord is calling you to the Church, he will make it happen! I would talk to a Parish Priest to get all the details…If the annulment is necessary, which I believe it might be, God will give you the strength to get through it…In the meantime, keep praying for his grace!!
 
Some priests are very involved with Tribunals, others refer people to a local Advocate, others refer people directly to the Diocese Tribunal.

Google your Diocese Tribunal webpage and see what steps are advised in your particular Diocese.

The Tribunal has dealt with thousands of divorces that were even worse than yours, I promise. They have great processes in place even for those where the spouse has a court issued no contact order in place. Talk to them.

God is calling you, God provides a way for you.
 
Wasn’t aware that divorced non-Catholics have to receive annulments…

Double-check this with a priest. You weren’t married by a priest, although you’d probably have to prove you were divorced because you could not marry a different person in the Church, if you were currently married in a civil ceremony to someone else.
 
sainteriksrose said:
Wasn’t aware that divorced non-Catholics have to receive annulments…
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As far as I know, two married baptized non-Catholic Christians who were free to marry on their wedding day are in a sacramental marriage. That’s because the spouses, not the priest, are the ministers of the sacrament.
 
As long as they were both free to marry (for example, they do not have a living prior spouse).
 
Others know far more than me about the topics of divorce, etc. but I my first thought was that you weren’t Catholic, you weren’t married in the church, so the Catholic church wouldn’t have considered you married anyway so the divorce back then wouldn’t matter now that you want to become Catholic. But I have no experience in divorce and remarriages soooo… I agree with just calling your local Catholic parish and setting up a meeting with the priest there. Both to possibly start on the path to becoming Catholic and find out if your past marriage presents any obstacles.
 
Ian:

Just call the local parish and set an appointment (even one that could take place over the phone) with the priest.

There are lots of well-meaning thoughts in this thread, but they are not all correct or helpful. Just make an appointment.

Each and every marriage is looked at by the Tribunal to decide whether you were validly married to your ex, and then your current wife. Whatever actions need to be investigated can be addressed by the Tribunal. The priest will help you get everything in order to get things rolling.

I am an Annulment Sponsor for our local Tribunal, and help people every week through these processes.

God bless,
Deacon Christopher
 
IanAG said:
I have been told that to become a Catholic I would need to have this marriage nullified
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Well, you would need to have something “done” about your “first marriage.” What that turns out to be, in terms of the process and/or result, varies from case to case. Perhaps it would involve a nullity process of some kind. Maybe it would be a dissolution process of some kind.
IanAG said:
which would require the involvement of my ex wife.
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Generally, active “involvement” is not a requirement. By that, I mean that the process itself can go forward with or without active involvement from the other Party. However, the other Party is informed of the process itself and invited to participate.
IanAG said:
I don’t think I could go through the process of annulment without causing significant further harm to my health.
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I don’t know how you would handle the process (whatever it turns out to be) but would only suggest that you not presume that it is going to be harmful to your health.
IanAG said:
Could anyone offer me any advice?
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As others have said, you first need to speak to a local priest or someone at the local level who can provide assistance and/or direct you to someone else who can help you.

Dan
 
sainteriksrose said:
Wasn’t aware that divorced non-Catholics have to receive annulments…
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Stated more precisely (and probably abstrusely), if an adult wishes to become Catholic, he/she has to show that he/she is in a marriage that has no obviously plausible impediment to validity.

Practically, this generally refers to a divorced and remarried person: it would seem that there is a possible impediment there. So, in order to become Catholic, the person would have to “regularize” this marriage situation. Oftentimes, this involves a nullity process that may find that the “first marriage” was invalid for some reason or other. If that happens, then the “second marriage” can be either made presumptively valid or automatically enjoy a firm presumption of validity. After that, the person can become Catholic.

A significant portion of nullity cases at Catholic tribunals involve two, non-Catholic Parties. Someday, I might start keeping track of this percentage in my own work…

Dan
 
As you said, you know the Catholic Church is the true church. You are being called home and Our Blessed Mother will show you the way. The obstacles will be broken down and you’ll be full of peace. Stay in prayer man.
 
Thanks everyone for your help and encouragement.

I have written to our parish priest explaining my circumstances and asking for his help and advice.

I’m looking forward prayerfully that if this is God’s will, as I believe it is, it will happen.
 
We’re longing for you, too, Ian.

I will pray that you have peace and patience as you journey to the Barque of Peter,
Deacon Christopher
 
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