Looking with lust

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Azael89

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The other day I was with my friends at the mall and saw a group of beautiful women. They were really nice looking and I felt attracted to their bodies. I remember that was lust and told my friends not to look at their bodies because that was lust. They laugh and told me that lust is intense sexual desire or appetite, and that there is nothing wrong looking at women and feeling attraction towards their bodies as long as we don’t look with intense sexual desire. Are they right??
 
Yes. They are right. There is nothing wrong with admiring a womans beauty. Catholics would have a pretty big problem if all our men avoided even looking at women they felt attracted too.
 
Azael89 said:
The other day I was with my friends at the mall and saw a group of beautiful women. They were really nice looking and I felt attracted to their bodies. I remember that was lust and told my friends not to look at their bodies because that was lust. They laugh and told me that lust is intense sexual desire or appetite, and that there is nothing wrong looking at women and feeling attraction towards their bodies as long as we don’t look with intense sexual desire. Are they right??
Click to expand...
On Looking at Girls
By Jimmy Akin
http://www.jimmyakin.org/2009/01/appreciating-beauty-vs-concupiscence.html
 
Catechism:

2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.

vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p3s2c2a6.htm#II

We need of course a reasonable custody of the senses and never to look lustfully (as Jesus spoke of in Matthew)

We need to see persons…not just bodies…and take reasonable care (especially in our culture)…we need to bind closely the sexual value of the body that we sense…to the person (as Pope John Paul II spoke of in love and responsibility before he was Pope)…and to seek to not make them objects. The use custody of the senses…which can mean looking somewhere else at times…etc…

…but this can help:

from Jimmy Akin senior apologist at Catholic Answers:

jimmyakin.org/2009/01/appreciating-beauty-vs-concupiscence.html
 
Turn that moment into an opportunity for a short conversation with God, a prayer.

Sanctify even that moment of indecision, teetering on lust.

Maybe like this: "My Lord, and My all…why do you make women so beautiful? I thank you for my desires. Give me grace to use them properly and to master them.

Or, Lord, I offer this averted glance as penance for all the offenses committed against women this day. Please convert my offering into something wonderful somewhere for others."
 
Azael89:To lust is to desire a woman for her physical attributes disregarding women’s personality.You can find a women attractive without wishing to have a physical relationship with her.Always think of her as a whole person.Some people lust in a sense over a women’s mind.They may think that if they had her she may be able to help his career.THat is just as bad only it happens alot less frequently.Dont be decieved by the line its only natural for a man when he sees a pretty girl that he wishes to kiss or make love to her.That is an amoral way to think.
 
James1:12-15. Blessed is the man who perseveres in temptation, for when he has been proved he will receive the crown of life that he promised to those who love him. No one experiencing tempatation should say, “I am being tempted by God”; for God is not subject to temptation to evil, and he himself trempts no one. Rather, each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. THEN desire conceives and brings forth sin, AND when sin reaches maturity it gives birth to death. (My CAPS).

The above tells me that a person doesn’t sin by being tempted when he or she is lured and enticed by his or her desire. BUT if this desire is conceived and enacted upon, then a serious sin is committed and needs to be confessed at the earliest time.
 
You can look at a woman and like what you see with no sin.

It’s even OK to look at a particular part of their bodies. It’s nearly impossible not to notice rear ends and breasts the way some women dress these days.

The difference is when you:

1- have sexual thoughts as a result.
2- Become aroused.
3- Or objectify the woman.

You can see a beautiful woman with an attractive figure and think, “now that’s a good looking woman” or even admire her rear end so long as you are not disrespectful and it does not make you have impure thoughts or become aroused.

The problem is that it can be very hard at times to keep thoughts pure and teen boys in particular have difficulties not thinking dirty, becoming aroused and objectifiying women.

So, while it’s OK, you have to be on guard not to go any further with it. Not only that, if you’re married you have to be even more careful because you could be committing a sin of lust, the could lead to a sin of adultry. Not to mention it’s not respectful to your wife to be ogling other women.
 
Azael89 said:
The other day I was with my friends at the mall and saw a group of beautiful women. They were really nice looking and I felt attracted to their bodies. I remember that was lust and told my friends not to look at their bodies because that was lust. They laugh and told me that lust is intense sexual desire or appetite, and that there is nothing wrong looking at women and feeling attraction towards their bodies as long as we don’t look with intense sexual desire. Are they right??
Click to expand...
I ran into the same kind of situation yesterday. I’m known to be scrupulous at times and I’m driving myself nuts as to whether I commited a mortal sin. It happened while I was at work (I work in retail).

A certain individual caught my attention and as soon as my eyes saw them I turned away because I was afraid of there being a near occasion of sin. However, my eyes kept on being drawn to her body and I even was examining/admiring her shape at a certain point. I eventually just said to myself, “This needs to stop because I don’t want to commit a mortal sin!” and I walked away in the opposite direction until the person left the store. When looking at her body, did I commit lust? I’m having a hard time determining this because I eventually turned away in the end. A lot of the resources on this kind of issue and people with Scrupulosity confuses me so I have a more difficult time dealing with these situations.
 
Compedium of the Catechism issued by Pope Benedict XVI
  1. When does one commit a mortal sin?
1855-1861
1874

One commits a mortal sin when there are simultaneously present: grave matter, full knowledge, and deliberate consent. This sin destroys charity in us, deprives us of sanctifying grace, and, if unrepented, leads us to the eternal death of hell. It can be forgiven in the ordinary way by means of the sacraments of Baptism and of Penance or Reconciliation.
  1. When does one commit a venial sin?
1862-1864
1875

One commits a venial sin, which is essentially different from a mortal sin, when the matter involved is less serious or, even if it is grave, when full knowledge or complete consent are absent. Venial sin does not break the covenant with God but it weakens charity and manifests a disordered affection for created goods. It impedes the progress of a soul in the exercise of the virtues and in the practice of moral good. It merits temporal punishment which purifies.
 
(from previous post of mine…each must judge themselves of course…but this may be helpful to some out there)

(of course one should avoid near occasions…and we can be responsible for not doing so…depending…like if I know I get gravely drunk going usually by going to a particular place…I need to avoid such…not that I get drunk…just an example …or if one knows if one is alone with ones girlfriend one usually falls into mortal sin…do not be alone!)

Remember too:

The classic stages of temptation when we are tempted are:
  1. Suggestion (the evil is proposed to us in some way) this can be quite attractive …can be thoughts that happen, ideas etc.
  2. Pleasure (a kind of automatic pleasure can happen from the suggestion) this pleasure can just happen…one is not “trying to have it” not wanting it…this is just a reaction.
3…then one either consents or does not consent.

Now it can often happen that one begins to “partially consent” but then rejects it and thus does not give full consent.

When one is tempted…

Some signs that one lacked consent or gave only “partial consent”:

If even though there was some instinctive pleasure …we do not want it…we are unhappy or horrified about the evil…or struggle to not be overcome …we turn to God in Prayer --these are some signs of no consent (if of course we stay in this stage…and do not later consent)

(For example some thoughts come out of the blue just cause one happened to see an attractive person…and one does not want the thoughts but turns to God in Prayer or is horrified by them and turns to something else etc…no matter how much they come back…if one does not consent at all…there is no sin…but rather possibly growth in virtues)

If one hesitates for a moment but then does not want to sin and so rejects it and does not give full consent (thus a fault against prudence)

If one resists but the resistance is half-hearted…one does resist but it is weak or slow…but in the end one rejects it…such would seem to be half consent and thus venial

Of course if one then gives in and gives full consent…then such can be mortal…remember…partial consent or half consent is not full consent…and thus not mortal.

(Based on A Tanquery… he bases things on S. Augustine…but much of this is simply repeated in various places…for it is the basics in judging such)
 
Hi,

This just happened to me. If I looked at a woman’s breasts but had no impure thoughts is it a sin? I got told that for it to be a sin I must’ve had impure thoughts (which I didn’t), and that I can look at a woman and think “she’s beautiful/she has a nice body” and that’s no sin at all. However, in this case I didn’t think the latter, but had no impure thoughts either, I just looked at her breasts for a second or two. Did I sin?
 
We cannot judge others. We do not know who will go to Hell and who wont. I do knopw that I have failed God many times. I have given into masterbation, and I regret this.
 
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