Lost and Confused

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Hi,

I am not sure if I have this in the right place, please move it if necessary.

Bottom line is, I feel extremely confused about everything right now. I guess there are a couple ‘themes’ that I’ve been torn about.
  1. I have a large and loving extended family. But, a little over a year ago, my aunt (and God-mother) was killed in a car accident. This absolutely shattered me and got me thinking about some uncomfortable things like what happens after death. The idea of eternal oblivion really frightens me, whether logically or illogically. I can’t stand the idea of her just not existing anymore, and I am afraid of what will happen when (inevitably) others in my family die.
  2. I have been brought up as Catholic, and still am. I went to grade school at a Catholic Elementary and I never thought a lot about these things, because I was surrounded by loving teachers and people who had the same beliefs as me. Now, I attend a public school, and it is much different. I have also been exposed to ideas of Dawkings, Hawking, and Hitchens that really make me question everything. Their ideas make sense, but so do arguments for God, and it all just makes me confused and I don’t know what to think. It constantly gnaws at me.
  3. The nature of salvation, for want of a better term. It seems so unfair that people in the Americas before 1500s, myriad people even today, those before Christ came, were never exposed to the true God. I’ve read some Protestant literature which says that such people go to hell, and even though I don’t believe Catholicism teaches this it still hurts my sense of fairness.
  4. I have always loved to read, and one of the series in particular I have enjoyed is Harry Potter. Some people I have talked to say that since it teaches love and other good things, it is an okay story. Others say that reading it will make you go to hell because it glorifies the occult and stuff. Not sure what to think.
  5. I find it hard to know when I pray, if what I feel is truly a message from God, or if it is just my imagination thinking of what I would like the response to be (if that makes sense). This takes some of the comfort from prayer.
  6. Lastly, I read this article a little ago, and it just made me feel really uneasy in general.
I have talked to some of my family, youth group leaders, etc. about what I’ve been going through. I have also tried to pray for guidance and truth. I still feel torn and that these things are eating away at my life.

Any kind guidance or thoughts are appreciated.

Yours in Christ,
Greg
 
Wow, that’s a lot of “stuff”.
If you’re for real,
I’d say that as a Catholic, you should know and understand that death is not something to fear if we die in a state of grace. We are created not for the earth, but for heaven.
Science is not incompatible with Catholicism. Read your Catechism for clarity, AND use the search function here for some excellent articles.
Good people of every era will experience the mercy of God. Catholics have the fullness of the faith, Magisterium, Church Fathers, History, Sacramental grace, EUCHARIST, and proper interpretation of Scripture in their toolbox. That doesn’t negate others.
As for that article, I don’t think the BBC speaks with authority on matters of Catholicism. Do you?

I would pray, go to Mass, receive the Eucharist worthily, avail yourself of Confession regularly for a shot of grace and encouragement, study the Catechism, and expose myself to solid reading material, including and importantly, Scripture.
God wants you to live in heaven with Him at the end of your life.
Jesus tells us how to get there.
Peace.
 
“gregT”,

Pray, and read articles that build up hope.

Get in the habit of making aspirational prayer every time you feel confused.

May our Lord Jesus Christ lead you on your spiritual journey to Him.

Our Lady, Seat of Wisdom, …Pray for us!
 
gregT said:
Hi,

I am not sure if I have this in the right place, please move it if necessary.

Bottom line is, I feel extremely confused about everything right now. I guess there are a couple ‘themes’ that I’ve been torn about.
  1. I have a large and loving extended family. But, a little over a year ago, my aunt (and God-mother) was killed in a car accident. This absolutely shattered me and got me thinking about some uncomfortable things like what happens after death. The idea of eternal oblivion really frightens me, whether logically or illogically. I can’t stand the idea of her just not existing anymore, and I am afraid of what will happen when (inevitably) others in my family die.
  2. I have been brought up as Catholic, and still am. I went to grade school at a Catholic Elementary and I never thought a lot about these things, because I was surrounded by loving teachers and people who had the same beliefs as me. Now, I attend a public school, and it is much different. I have also been exposed to ideas of Dawkings, Hawking, and Hitchens that really make me question everything. Their ideas make sense, but so do arguments for God, and it all just makes me confused and I don’t know what to think. It constantly gnaws at me.
  3. The nature of salvation, for want of a better term. It seems so unfair that people in the Americas before 1500s, myriad people even today, those before Christ came, were never exposed to the true God. I’ve read some Protestant literature which says that such people go to hell, and even though I don’t believe Catholicism teaches this it still hurts my sense of fairness.
  4. I have always loved to read, and one of the series in particular I have enjoyed is Harry Potter. Some people I have talked to say that since it teaches love and other good things, it is an okay story. Others say that reading it will make you go to hell because it glorifies the occult and stuff. Not sure what to think.
  5. I find it hard to know when I pray, if what I feel is truly a message from God, or if it is just my imagination thinking of what I would like the response to be (if that makes sense). This takes some of the comfort from prayer.
  6. Lastly, I read this article a little ago, and it just made me feel really uneasy in general.
I have talked to some of my family, youth group leaders, etc. about what I’ve been going through. I have also tried to pray for guidance and truth. I still feel torn and that these things are eating away at my life.

Any kind guidance or thoughts are appreciated.

Yours in Christ,
Greg
Click to expand...
" Be not afraid, " a quote from St. Pope John Paul ll. In other words don’t be concerned about what the doubting minds of today say. Be your own man. Practice your faith, keep close to God, receive the sacraments frequently, read the Bible a little each day, start studying the Catechism, linked below. Negative thoughts are from the evil one, brush them out of your mind. If you must watch anything on the net, watch " Word on Fire, " where Fr. Barron discusses important topics. wordonfire.org/resources/video/atheism-and-philosophy/4611/

There is also a Word on Fire blog.

Linus2nd
 
1. Don’t worry. Your aunt still exists and she loves you. In fact, as Catholics we believe in the Communion of saints, which means that those who die in faith before us are still intimately involved in our lives. You can ask your aunt to pray for you and you can pray for her as well. I’ve found this to be a huge comfort.

If you’re looking for some more intellectual reasons on how we can know death isn’t the end, there are several books I recommend. A good one I think for your age (I’m assuming you are in high school?) is Your Questions, God’s Answers by Peter Kreeft. It deals with the questions we all have about life, death, religion, God. I think it would be a big help for you.

2. While Dawkins, Hawking, and the rest of them are all brilliant in their respective fields, they unfortunately are pretty lousy philosophers. Getting more familiar with the actual arguments for God should help clear your confusion. Catholic Answers has a pretty good book called ''Answering Atheism" that will help you get started with that.

3. This isn’t what Catholicism teaches:

Those who, through no fault of their own, do not know the Gospel of Christ or his Church, but who nevertheless seek God with a sincere heart, and, moved by grace, try in their actions to do his will as they know it through the dictates of their conscience - those too may achieve eternal salvation.

"Although in ways known to himself God can lead those who, through no fault of their own, are ignorant of the Gospel, to that faith without which it is impossible to please him, the Church still has the obligation and also the sacred right to evangelize all men. (CCC 847-848)

That’s from the Catechism, which is the official teaching of the Church. We don’t believe someone is automatically damned if they had no possible way of hearing about Christ.

4. The Church is fine with the Harry Potter series. Most people saying those things have never actually read the books. Don’t worry about it.

5. I suffer the same thing. I’m always second-guessing myself. The cool thing about being Catholic though is we have two thousand years of wisdom at our finger tips. A lot of saints have struggled with this very problem. St. Ignatius of Loyola had several rules for discerning where a thought or inspiration was coming from. Basically, if we are seeking after God, and a certain thought gives us peace and joy, we can know that’s from the Holy Spirit. If something causes us anxiety, then that’s from the devil. His writings go into much more detail of course but this is just what I remember off the top of my head.

I highly recommend finding a priest or a spiritual director though. They can help you work through your doubts and struggles with prayer. It’s really helped me.

6. From the article:
“But even if the world’s troubles were miraculously solved and we all led peaceful lives in equity, religion would probably still be around. This is because a god-shaped hole seems to exist in our species’ neuropsychology, thanks to a quirk of our evolution.”
Click to expand...
A quirk in our evolution could explain why we humans are naturally religious. But perhaps the reason we have this “God-shaped hole” is because there really is a God who created us to be happy with Him for all eternity. Both theories explain religious belief and are equally probable.

Personally, I find the existence of this ‘‘hole’’ a strong proof for God. Every other desire and longing we naturally have corresponds to something that really exists. (Food, sex, safety etc…) Why would this one thing be the only exception? Seems more reasonable to me to say the reason we have this longing for the infinite is because we were made for it.

But even IF religious belief did stem from our evolution, that doesn’t prove God doesn’t exist, any more than evolution causing us to desire food proves food doesn’t exist. That’s a different issue entirely.
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gregT:
I have talked to some of my family, youth group leaders, etc. about what I’ve been going through. I have also tried to pray for guidance and truth. I still feel torn and that these things are eating away at my life.

Any kind guidance or thoughts are appreciated.

Yours in Christ,
Greg
Click to expand...
You’re on the right track Greg. Don’t be afraid of your difficulties or let them eat away at you. Keep praying. Find a good spiritual director. Try to learn more about the reasons behind your faith. I went through a similar crisis in high school. Finding Catholic Answers and other Christian apologetics really helped me grow and become a stronger Catholic. I’m glad I questioned what I believed, because there are good answers out there that I never would have found otherwise. This time can be a real opportunity to make your faith your own.

God bless and we’re here if you need any other help.
 
Hi Greg.
  1. Persons desire to live forever, as if it were necessary for happiness. And that is the proof Thomas Aquinas puts forward that we are, upon creation, eternal beings. Why? Because our nature desires it, and nothing desires naturally what is not natural to it. Granted, our bodies die, but we somehow know inside that it is unnatural to us.
Some people say that because we die, that the desire to continue forever is simply a whim of fancy and then give up on the desire. But others, like the greatest Catholic theologian Aquinas, understand the metaphysics of being, and know that desire only exists for what is natural to a being. Now, with Jesus and his Church, we find the revelation of how such a thing can really be true even in the face of physical dying. Not only that, but we know we should live in our bodies, and to that we hear Christ proclaiming the resurrection of the dead, and he himself led the way.
  1. Read Thomas Aquinas. If you are dealing with the other philosophers and scientists, read this philosopher and theologian as your teacher. He will show you the big picture while they only show you what can be seen or heard and then speculated about. (by the way, Peter Kreeft is an Aquinas student and scholar)
  2. As a Catholic, you know the mass of people are judged by their works when they stand before the judge - what they have done to their neighbor they have done to Christ. Those who enter heaven will be surprised, as will those who depart from him. Surprise: “When did we see you hungry or naked or in prison?” Then, those who know the Gospel, who are in the Church will be judged more strictly, by whether they loved as Christ loved, and whether they were images of him in the world, so that the world would see Christ. Protestants, from the 1500’s on, left the Church and so their teaching is not to be given credence when looking at this.
  3. Harry Potter: Over time, if you study, you will come to see that Harry Potter is, like much fantasy and science fiction, a portrayal of evil as a opposite force from good, much as if there were two “gods”, one good, the other evil. It is also a portrayal of somehow gaining some special skill or knowledge that will give you the upper hand over the evil god. But we know that evil is actually a deficiency or defect in what is good. Satan’s being is “good”, but he is deficient in that he refuses to look at God, but looks only at himself. In a way, Harry Potter and others like that make us all feel a bit ordinary and not victorious, but instead feel like victims who do not have the magic stuff to really win at life. Harry wins, but we go on to have no future. But this is not the case, we are related to Jesus, sons of God. Study and see who you really are (I could again suggest Aquinas - www.ccel.org - it is difficult, but you are young and a thinker).
  4. Keep praying - compare what you hear to what you find in the Bible. As a Catholic, when you were baptized and confirmed you were given the Holy Spirit and confirmed, given its fullness, with the purpose that you be a mighty witness of Christ. So, pray and listen, compare to what you know Christ teaches in Scripture and the Church. Study Scripture and Church teaching so you know who Christ is, then you will know.
  5. The Church will not disappear - it is good if false religion disappears, and atheism is actually a false religion too. But we will not disappear; I plan to make a profit with the talents Christ gave me, so that when he returns I can give him his proceeds, five times what he gave. You, also - do this. You and I will be the proof that the Church will not disappear - and any others reading this feel free to pledge this also.
Welcome to the forum, Greg.
John Martin
 
Hey Greg,

I, too, am confused about a great many things, but one of them, now, isn´t the existence of God.

Well, consider it this way. Look at your computer. If I were to say, “This computer just evolved, put itself together, by itself, without any outside intervention, whatsoever”.

Now, naturally, you know with your computer it just couldn´t have. It was engineered TOO perfectly to have come together by chance. The odds of that happening would be…not sure how many billion to one. It would be SO improbable that it would be virtually impossible.

I studied the same anatomy and physiology as the nurses. Anyway, you would not BELIEVE the perfection of the human body. It´s PERFECT! Now, if we were the result of a series of random accidents, mutations, one would expect us to reflect that, and we don´t.

Even if you were to putr a bunch of chemicals into a container, even with heat, light, right temperature, I doubt you could produce life, no matter how many eons you left it there, much less a person…or even a one-celled animal. Life doesn´t just “happen”.

The more we know of science, the more fascinating it is…energy…how, we are all energy, …that we are water…chemicals…in perfect balance…pH…we have gravity, temperature.

If the sun would have been a little bit farther, or a little bit closer to us…NO life…if ANY factor would have been off, again, NO life.

We are spinning around in the universe…rotating…revolving…we breathe in oxygen, exhale carbon dioxide, …which, just happens to be what plants like.

When we look at the universe, it acts together as if it were…one single entity.

Now, I´d like you to see the video, “Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed” which was to try to persuade us to teach Intelligent Design in public schools.

It gave the analogy of if a bunch of monkeys were typing at it, long enough, they could also reproduce William Shakespeare’s entire works. Maybe so, but do you realize what the odds of that happening would be? It would be astronomically low…so improbable that it’d be virtually impossible…to have that happen by accident, or chance.

So, we are looking at the body…the ecosystems…how perfectly they fit together…

Look at how we grow…in a water environment…later…are on a non-water environment. Our skulls aren´t fixed. They fix (fuse) later…after birth…fuse together to allow our brains to grow.

We have chemistry, physics, electrical impulses…like in the heart…nerve impulses…nerves…nervous system, digestive, circulatory, respiratory, endocrine, excretory, etc., etc., etc., etc.

Have you ever watched “Star Trek: The Next Generation” ? A lot of times, the crew would ask the android, Data, to calculate the probability of something happening, or not happening. He´s say…the probability of that happening would be…3 trillion 700, 015: 1.

I wonder what Data would say what the probability of the universe coming together, perfectly, randomly, by mere accident, chance.

Now, we can´t comprehend either way…the concept of an uncreated, Creator. The alternative is equally puzzling…having it all go back into infinity…without an uncreated Creator.

However, look about. Look at the orderliness of everything about…how everything…plants, animals, ourselves…fit together…and the universe, as well…fits.

Look, again, at the computer analogy. I think you can sometimes deduce things by their artifacts. You can take one look at a computer, ascertain it was not only created but had some kind of plan, intelligent design behind it.

To me, I see an overriding design behind the universe, as well. Does the universe, in all its perfection look like it came about by a bunch of lucky accidents? Einstein said that God doesn´t throw dice with the cosmos. While I don´t think Einstein was Catholic, I think Einstein could see it wasn´t serendipity that brought us all here.
 
Thank you everyone for replying. I don’t think I have space in this thread to specifically address each of you individually, but your support really helps and makes me feel better and encouraged.
 
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