Dear Friend,
May I tell you that our Lord loves your heart - he really does and he takes such delight in your being faithful to him in these matters, which are so very painful for you at this time.
I have included in this post, Psalm 88, which may assist you in your prayers, but may it also assure you that what you are experiencing is not unknown in the Christian life. Even very many saints and holy persons have been through long dark periods, when it seemed that God’s love could not, or would not reach them. However, what they teach us, is that if a soul endures through these times in faith, then the Lord can do amazing things in them and with them.
I am truly sorry that your marriage does not seem to be a success, and that it seems that God is withholding his blessing. However, thanks be to God for your faithfulness to your wife, even so. Love is easy, when the other person obviously loves us back. However, to love someone, when the love isn’t obviously being returned is a real cross; and it would seem that this is the cross our Lord is offering you at this time. “Greater love hath no man than to lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15.13). It is a love of this kind, that is being called for here.
Nevertheless, Jesus had to accept help to carry his cross from Simon of Cyrene, and I want to encourage you to seek the help and support that you need, particularly, from your pastor and your parish. It may be that you need to seek a spiritual director to help you through a time of trial. The Church is the hands and feet of Christ on this earth, and maybe God will bless your situation, but through the hands of his servants.
You will be very much in my prayers at this time, and I encourage you to give your situation into the hands of Mary, comforter of the afflicted and refuge of sinners.
Hail Mary
Full of Grace
The Lord is with Thee.
Blessed art though among women
and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God
Pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death. Amen.
In Christ,
Peter
*Psalm 88
O LORD, my God, I call for help by day; I cry out in the night before thee. Let my prayer come before thee, incline thy ear to my cry! For my soul is full of troubles, and my life draws near to Sheol.
I am reckoned among those who go down to the Pit; I am a man who has no strength, like one forsaken among the dead, like the slain that lie in the grave, like those whom thou dost remember no more, for they are cut off from thy hand.
Thou hast put me in the depths of the Pit, in the regions dark and deep. Thy wrath lies heavy upon me, and thou dost overwhelm me with all thy waves. Thou hast caused my companions to shun me; thou hast made me a thing of horror to them. I am shut in so that I cannot escape; my eye grows dim through sorrow. Every day I call upon thee, O LORD; I spread out my hands to thee.
Dost thou work wonders for the dead? Do the shades rise up to praise thee? Is thy steadfast love declared in the grave, or thy faithfulness in Abaddon? Are thy wonders known in the darkness, or thy saving help in the land of forgetfulness?
But I, O LORD, cry to thee; in the morning my prayer comes before thee. O LORD, why dost thou cast me off? Why dost thou hide thy face from me? Afflicted and close to death from my youth up, I suffer thy terrors; I am helpless. Thy wrath has swept over me; thy dread assaults destroy me. They surround me like a flood all day long; they close in upon me together. Thou hast caused lover and friend to shun me; my companions are in darkness. *
