Love hurts...we need advice

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creedseebas

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I don’t see it working. unil she and he both become completely independent of each other they won’t be able to carry on a good relationship. there will always be fights. only when two people are independent of each other can the relationship work because the two persons don’t NEED anything from the other and are therefore involved only to GIVE of themselves to the other. this way it is not a relationship in which both get from the other but rather, it is a relationship where they’re both concerned with giving to each other. Most couples cannot say that their relationship has this quality and be truly honest about it. truly blessed are the couples who can. Those are the couples whose marriage works. in those marriages you see loyalty, trust, and selfless love. In other words you see God. if only people could learn to be more patient with themselves and grow enough before they go expecting to meet the love of their lives. They need top realize that the only way to truly attain this “independence” of which i talk about as being so crucial, they must become dependent on God. When they become dependent on God, they realize that He is always there and will always provide. This puts all other earthly needs into perspective and the result is a person who to th eworld seems independent and who is ready for a good, and lifelong relationship with another person(this assuming that mariage is their vocation). I wish my brother would understand this, it would save him so much pain. He hears me but he won’t accept it.
 
I agree…Selfless love is rare and precious.

I’m…not really sure what else to say in response to the previous posts. :confused: God Bless, though.
 
Hi creedseebas,

Are you saying that your brother needs to depend on God rather than on his spouse for his marriage to work? If so I agree. We can rely on God to be the centre of our marriage and he will help us through any difficulty. I have experienced this in my marriage. God has certainly been by our side through many situations and because we have had faith in him, it made a couple of terrible situations much easier. In one particular trial when we were in the midst of it it was difficult to see that God was helping us through but now a couple of years after we can see that God was carrying us through.

cheers
Therese
 
I’m sorry but it feels like I’m starting in the middle of your post and I’m not sure what you’re after.
 
I am not too sure exactly what you mean by being independent of each other so I’m not sure that I can agree; except with the part about depending on God, of course.

There are qualities in my wife which I do not possess and of which I am in need in my life. In that sense, I am not independent. However, we both acknowledge that these qualities could be found in other people and therefore we are not truly dependent on each other specifically. What we do is complement each other.

In my opinion, a couple should focus more on respecting one another and understanding the nature of marriage rather than on indepence.

In respecting one another, you see each other as an equal child of God who is neither above, nor beneath you. You give true consideration to what the ohter needs and wants when making your own decisions. You always take them into consideration.

The true nature of marriage is this; its ALL about giving. You are both now to consider the other above yourself. If you do things based on what you’ll get out of it, you’re not there yet. It is when you both can give without demanding that you receive that you will find happiness in your relationship. You will also find that you receive more than you ever dreamed. You will both support each other and treat each other with respect. For the husband is no longer his own, he is now his wife’s. Likewise, the wife is no longer her own, she is now her husband’s. This applies to all aspects of your life together as a married couple. The more you apply it, the more successful your marriage will be. Where the husband is weak, the wife will provide strength; and likewise the husband will provide strength where his wife is weak. They will live in order to mutually support each other. Their children will see this and learn that this is how true marriage is supposed to be. When they grow up and look for their spouse, they will seek one who fits the model they learned from their parents.

I don’t know if I really answered your questions but I hope that it is in some way helpful.
 
Sorry but I feel like I walked into the middle of your post. I’m not sure what you’re after.
 
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