Love or Lust?

[Tom]

It appears to me that our society confuses Lust for Love. To me they are entirely different emotions. Looking morally I know God loves us so much that He gave us His only Son. God doesn’t want sex from us He wants Love. His Son Loves us so much that He gave us His life, again, Jesus didn’t have lustful thoughts but loving.
The confusion seems to come from the “sexual” revolution of the 1960’s. For those of us old enough remember “free LOVE”. Of course it didn’t mean free Love, it meant free sex.
Which brings up the topic of sexual relations outside of marriage. How can you say you “Love” a person, and draw them into mortal sin? Seems to me if you truly loved the person you’d want what’s best for them, not what’s sinful.
Making “love” indeed. If you love someone and lead them to mortal sin, I’d really hate to see how you treat someone you hated…

 

[JDS2oo6]

Tom its not that easy. Love vs. lust is not an entirely black-white picture. There’s shades of gray.

I can see what your saying about the mortal sin thing (esp. intercourse and oral sex), but its a little more difficult when it comes to so-called lesser mortal sins. Like pre-marital sex/ oral sex is wrong (for sure), but people who are in love do tend to atleast makeout (which is sinful too, but its not sex of any kind).

When I was in my relationship with my ex-girlfriend, I did some sinful things with her (again no intercourse or oral sex) but I did that in the best interest of us. We drew each other into mortal sin but I atleast had the right intentions (I thought we were going to get engaged and married)–we gave into our feelings and I thought the makingout would draw us closer together (which it did).

But it all ended in her cheating on me…with someone who got kicked out of the military, works a little labor job, and someone who is notorious for propositioning women for sexual favors…while the conservative Catholic who loves God and others while living somewhat of a pure life and who is dedicated means nothing to her.

 

[Tom]

I think you’ve missed my point. My point is love is not lust, actually if you lust for someone, you don’t love that person. Lust violates love.
You said “but people who are in love do tend to atleast makeout”. Sin is not defined by what people do, it’s defined by God. People also have premarital sex, does that make it right? As to whether “making out” is sin or not you’d have to reflect on your desires during it. If you’re having lustful thoughts, then yes it is sin, if you’re not having lustful thoughts it wouldn’t be. You might want to research lust in the CCC, it has some wonderful explanations. You might be surprised to find that lustful thoughts are sinful whether you’re married or not. I’m married and very much in love with my wife. I do not lust for her, I love her. My thoughts and actions aren’t for my own sexual gratification.
Sorry to hear about your ex-girlfriend. You’re better off without her if she was “cheating”. While you’re looking up lust and love in the CCC read the explanations of chastity and celibacy, they are often confused by people. If you’re married you are celibate by having normal sexual relations with your wife. Celibacy is the realization (and acceptance) of your sexuality in context with Gods plan. God calls ALL of us to be celibate.

 

[Jadesfire20]

Well spoken Tom!:clapping: :clapping: :bowdown2:

{{{{{{JDS2oo6}}}}}}

Maria:wave:

 

[JimG]

Tom, I think you mixed up the definitions of celibacy and chastity. Celibates refrain from sexual relations. Chastity pertains to what is proper for our state in life; thus married persons can be chaste by engaging in normal marital relations.

JimG

 

[Tom]

You’re absolutely right I did type Celibacy when I meant Chastity. Thanks for catching that. It should have said:
If you’re married you are chaste by having normal sexual relations with your wife. Chastity is the realization (and acceptance) of your sexuality in context with Gods plan. God calls ALL of us to be chaste.

 

[Black_Jaque]

actually I though celibate simply meant “not married”. Since Catholic priests are supposed to be celibate AND chaste it means they do not engage in intercourse.

Married couples practice married chastity.

Part of the confusion is in our language. We say “I love strawberries”, which means nothing at all literally. Love is an active verb - it connotes action.

Think of it this way. If you anger someone, who is “feeling” angry? We often confuse the feeling we have as us loving someone else. But if we truly love someone else, it has nothing to do with how we feel and everything to do with how they feel.

In Spanish they don’t mince words. If they enjoy strawberries, they will tell you that “strawberries please me” (Me gusta fresas). If they lust over someone they will tell them “I want you” (te quiero). And if they love someone they say “I love you” (te amo), and it is my understanding that this phrase is not used as often as Americans use it.