Lukewarm faith during present sadness due to sick dad

[Flambeau]

Hello everyone,

It has been a while since I posted on here and I am hoping for a combination pep talk and advice. My father has been sick with pancreatic cancer for a while now, and has been fighting it very successfully for 2.5 years.

Unfortunately the cancer has began winning recently and it is very tough seeing the once robust, joyful, enthusiastic and positive 57 year old man waste away, and be overcome with depression and sadness due to his constant pains

My father is a deacon, and he and my mom took us to mass every Sunday growing up, I married a Catholic woman, and our faith has been the centerpoint of our life. We never miss a mass or a holy day, we go to confession monthly, Catholicism is kind of the theme in our family.

I say this not to brag, but as a contrast. I haven’t been to mass in 3 weeks. I’ve had lukewarm excuses, wedding Saturday afternoon the first week, traveling the second week, touch of stomach flu today, but I’ve never missed mass for any reason in the 9 previous years of married life. I just feel so numb with everything going on with my father. I know many people go through much worse tragedy than this, but he is my best friend, my work partner, and my spiritual advisor and this has got me very depressed, it is tough.

My prayer life is actually more active than ever, with me pleading for help for myself and for peace for my mom and dad, but im ashamed at how I’m failing my wife and daughter by not going to mass, even though I think she’s too young to know what’s going on.

Has anybody been through anything similar? Any advice for me?

 

[Lee1]

I have experienced praying for people in my life who have nevertheless died. It’s tough. It’s depressing and ironically it’s one of the major things in life that our faith is most capable of helping us cope with.

We might go through the normal things we usually do and ride out the storm. At a time like this I’d keep attending mass, keep up the sacraments and keep up with prayer. It’s natural to doubt but God is real and so to the truth as told by Our Lord. Try to trust that however things go God is there for you, your family and your dear father.

I pray for you all and trust that God will help you maintain the faith that your earthly father helped equip you with. God bless.

 

[Diaconia]

I went through something similar, although my dad lasted under a year before succumbing to cancer.

I am a deacon myself, here’s s couple of things for you to meditate on:

1. Prayer changes us, over time, to become aligned with God’s will.
2. It may be helpful to concentrate for a period of time during prayer focusing on your father as a deacon. A member of the clergy that Christ has set apart for sacred use. Someone selected by the Lord Jesus Himself to serve God’s people. A minister who has touched hundreds of souls and guided them to God. The person of Christ Himself among us who came to serve and not to be served.

I will pray for your family, and particularly for my brother deacon, (If you want you can message me his first name).

Deacon Christopher

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Would your dad want you to go to Mass? From your post it sounds like the answer is yes.

Would your dad be happy you are missing Mass, or would he be concerned and tell you that you should go? From your post it sounds like he would be concerned.

Go to Mass, do it for your dad, do it even when you “aren’t feeling it”. Mass and receiving the Eucharist give you the graces you need to stay strong in the face of awful things happening. Even when it’s not making you feel any better, and even when you feel like you’re just “going through the motions” of Mass. It will help you anyway.

Have you thought about attending Mass on a weekday in addition to Sunday? On a weekday, you can just go by yourself and not have all the added pressure of making it a big family Mass outing . Just go and be with the Lord at Mass.