Lustful thoughts about your spouse?

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AdriannaJean

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Hey Everyone,

Just wondering where the Church stands on lustful thoughts about your spouse. I’m not talking about sitting next to them on the couch, thinking about it for a couple minutes and then heading upstairs, but more like when they’re not there or having sex isn’t an option, for example if you are using NFP and she’s fertile. Is it a sin to dwell on these thoughts or fantasize about your spouse when you can’t have sex? Presuming this does not lead to adultery or masturbation of course.
 
I think lust is a cardinal sin - which tend to lead us to other actions. Be they lustful (as apposed to loving) actions with our spouse - or if that is not possible (because you are using nfp) actions outside the marital act.
 
Ask yourself - are such thoughts loving, or for personal gratification, even without the sinful acts of masturbation or adultery?

It is sinful to dwell on lustful thoughts because it is willfully taking sexual pleasure from self-directed thoughts. Is that what you are doing by engaging in this kind of thinking? If so, this is sinful.

Or is there another motivation for the thoughts than to derive personal pleasure from them? If there is such a case, then I doubt dwelling on such thoughts would be sinful. But I can’t think of a situation off the top of my head where such would be the case.
 
Lust is sinful. Lust is an intense or obsessive desire that consumes you. You shouldn’t lust for anything, including your spouse. .

That being said, a desire for an intimate moment with your spouse isn’t sinful, again as long as it doesn’t consume you. Part of NFP is using the times of abstinence as a catalyst to enjoy the times you are together more.
 
AdriannaJean said:
Hey Everyone,

Just wondering where the Church stands on lustful thoughts about your spouse. I’m not talking about sitting next to them on the couch, thinking about it for a couple minutes and then heading upstairs, but more like when they’re not there or having sex isn’t an option, for example if you are using NFP and she’s fertile. Is it a sin to dwell on these thoughts or fantasize about your spouse when you can’t have sex? Presuming this does not lead to adultery or masturbation of course.
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I think that lust for your spouse is normal and natural. As long as your last sentence holds true, I don’t see that there is any problem.

Peace

Tim
 
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