Lying and deception

[rose.gold]

Lying and deception are always wrong. But why? People lie quite frequently about very small things that don’t seem to matter at all. I understand that the Bible says it’s wrong and that’s enough for me. But I also want it to logically make sense. For example, people will often lie when they’re embarrassed about something. It’s just so hard me to understand why God would be offended by that?

 

[RoseScented]

CCC 2483 Lying is the most direct offense against the truth. To lie is to speak or act against the truth in order to lead someone into error. By injuring man’s relation to truth and to his neighbor, a lie offends against the fundamental relation of man and of his word to the Lord.

CCC 2485 By its very nature, lying is to be condemned. It is a profanation of speech, whereas the purpose of speech is to communicate known truth to others. The deliberate intention of leading a neighbor into error by saying things contrary to the truth constitutes a failure in justice and charity. The culpability is greater when the intention of deceiving entails the risk of deadly consequences for those who are led astray.

CCC 2486 Since it violates the virtue of truthfulness, a lie does real violence to another. It affects his ability to know, which is a condition of every judgment and decision. It contains the seed of discord and all consequent evils. Lying is destructive of society; it undermines trust among men and tears apart the fabric of social relationships.

I was going to write up my own wording for the above, but I think the CCC did a good job of laying it out.

 

[Dan_Defender]

It is wrong because we should always be truthful, like Jesus was even unto death. Remember that Satan is the father of lies so don’t go down that road. In practice, people are entitled to their privacy, and yes there are things that we are embarrassed to disclose. So simply don’t. I don’t have to lie just say that’s none of your business or something like that when asked about something I don’t want to talk about.

 

[goout]

These two paragraphs are the key passages addressing your concern:

IV. RESPECT FOR THE TRUTH

[2488] The right to the communication of the truth is not unconditional. Everyone must conform his life to the Gospel precept of fraternal love. This requires us in concrete situations to judge whether or not it is appropriate to reveal the truth to someone who asks for it.

[2489] Charity and respect for the truth should dictate the response to every request for information or communication . The good and safety of others, respect for privacy, and the common good are sufficient reasons for being silent about what ought not be known or for making use of a discreet language. The duty to avoid scandal often commands strict discretion. No one is bound to reveal the truth to someone who does not have the right to know it.283

 

[Norseman82]

I don’t have to lie just say that’s none of your business or something like that when asked about something I don’t want to talk about.

I think part of the conundrum is that some people can’t take a hint and will press you with “I"M ASKING YOU A QUESTION” and then, in order to stop the harassment, they are faced with a choice of sins - either lying or using “strong language”.

Another problem is in a situation where the silence itself may give away the answer you are trying to avoid.

Of course, part of the confusion is due to the fact that an early version of the revised Catechism defined lying as telling a falsehood to “someone who deserved to know the truth” (being interpreted as “since you are not entitled to know, I have permission to lie”), but it was later revised.

 

[whatistrue]

can’t take a hint and will press you with “I"M ASKING YOU A QUESTION”

If you use “none of your business”, that isn’t a hint. If you are just hinting maybe that is the issue.You can be plain and direct without being rude or using strong language. But outright lying is out. “None of your business” or “I will not answer that question” are truthful and direct. If anyone (except someone in authority who has a right to the information, such as a parent asking their minor child) persists after that then you can simply repeat as necessary or walk away.

 

[MrsAngelala]

God is Truth, Beauty, and Goodness. Untruth is antithetical to God.

 

[kapp19]

Lying perverts the faculty of communication, analogous to contraception or, more dimly, to binge eating and purging food… One uses the faculty in a way that undermines its very purpose for existing.

-K

 

[fhansen]

The smallest white lie is a gross anomaly in creation, something not meant to be because it opposes truth; it conflicts with reality. While lying is the most common, and often seemingly innocuous sin, even murder, theft, and adultery are way too common in this world. But it all begins with deception; Adam and Eve bought into and swallowed a lie to begin with. Only rational beings with free will can lie-and sin in other ways-while the rest of creation acts according to it’s created nature. The fact that lying and falsehood are so common in this world should only serve to give dramatic testimony to the concept that we’re fallen beings, with loss of the innocence we were originally created to have. Even telling half-truths or embellishing the truth in order to make ourselves appear better than we are is wrong.

Very often lying presents itself as an easy and even harmless and smart expedient to accomplishing some purpose we have but we need to understand that whenever we manipulate or control the truth we’re putting ourselves in the place of God, controlling reality itself. As humans we must come to understand this problem of our tendency to be untruthful and begin to consciously place truth above our own desires, to exalt truth, even, in humility before it. And as we adopt this position we’ll find that it’s not always at all easy BTW -especially in a world such as ours. Reading more from the catechism on this is very worthwhile:
http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc/p3s2c2a8.htm

 

[Lucy_1]

For example, people will often lie when they’re embarrassed about something.

I have a terrible time with this. I had to go to confession yesterday because I told a cashier what my job is, and I am out of work. I also have a hard time because I’m pretty private but I hate saying, “I’d rather not say,” or something like that because it seems incredibly rude to me.

But these are really opportunities to be humble, because we are staying things as they are, and that is truly a gift to people, especially in these days when everyone does it. Humility is an extremely important virtue, which is not easy to acquire-- at least for me. God is literally truth. And when we say what’s true we participate in his character and glory.

 

[kapp19]

You should go easier on yourself. Such a lie is “officious” but not malicious - it is not grave matter in itself, though still is sin.

 

[whatistrue]

I’m pretty private but I hate saying, “I’d rather not say,” or something like that because it seems incredibly rude to me.

I don’t understand how it could be considered rude to decline to answer an intrusive question.

 

[Lucy_1]

I don’t understand how it could be considered rude to decline to answer an intrusive question.

It seems rude to me. It may not be, and probably isn’t rude in reality. I just have issues with mis-placed compassion. Plus, it seems like in today’s culture, there’s very little that is considered private. I know that’s an issue with the culture, not with me, but it does make me seem odd, at the very least.

You should go easier on yourself.

What do you mean? How am I being harsh?

 

[whatistrue]

It may not be, and probably isn’t rude in reality.

I don’t believe it is. Just remember that you are entitled to privacy as much as anyone else, and just because someone is curious (or nosy) doesn’t entitle them to know everything they want to. Unfortunately I think that too much sharing on social media has trained people that they must reveal all, but in reality even the most oversharing person on any platform still keeps some things private.

 

[joannejml]

Thanks for this citation from the Catechism. Some years ago I was a church secretary and Fr. gave me this advice. It made perfect sense for the situation at hand, but I didn’t know where he got this from, or if it was just a personal opinion.

 

[kapp19]

What do you mean? How am I being harsh?

I explained above. Telling an officious lie (a “useful” lie that does not directly seek to harm someone seriously) is indeed a sin, but it should not be seen as matter for the confessional - it is venial sin, generically.

-K

 

[Lucy_1]

Oh, I see. Yes, I know it’s only a venial sin. Plus, if I make a quick prayer before speaking with people, I’m able to avoid it.