M.I.L. was upset that my hubby joined Catholic church

[UtahMaggie]

My husband informed me last night that when he joined the Catholic church his mom was not happy about his decision. He found this out from his cousin’s wife. His mom died in January of 2004. I don’t think his cousin’s wife said this to him to be mean. She’s a sweetheart and is also Catholic. I think it was a “did I just say that” moment.

Today, I called hubby’s aunt; his mom’s sister. She said not to worry about it. His mom had surgery a few years ago and never really recovered from it. She also had a drinking problem that she kept well hid until the surgery. Then the doctors told her if she started drinking again, she would die. Unfortunately, she started again. His aunt told me that she thinks it was because of his mom’s ill health and the drinking that she was upset.

Okay, now here’s my dilema. I’m still sad that his mom was upset and we weren’t able to talk to her about this. My father in law passed away a year ago so I can’t discuss it with him either. How in the world do I deal with this now that they are gone?

Maggie

 

[Mamamull]

Write a letter to the mother, express all your feelings and then dispose of the letter – give it to a priest or burn it and leave the ashes on the grave.

Make your peace with it and be done with it.

My family was less than thrilled when I converted – they had no trouble telling me about though.

Accept what the aunt said, too. She should have known her sister well enough to know the real deal.

 

[puzzleannie]

good advice. my grandmother hated my dad because my mom, a Methodist, married a Catholic and later converted. She would only visit once a year, when he was conventiently gone on business. they exchanged no more than a few polite words in 30 years. yet when ever we would stay with her she made a point of taking us to a Catholic church for Sunday Mass, and dressed us to the nines. She disagreed, but she respected. She taught me some of her favorite hymns -Church in the Wildwood is still my favorite – but asked my mother first for an okay.

Your MIL probably did not say anything directly because she did not want to disrespect her son’s choice, and you. She probably just vented to the aunt who like you say spoke out of turn. Instead of dwelling on her negative feelings, focus on the good, especially the good in her that was expressed in her own religious belief.

 

[johnq]

:bowdown: Adoration

Best therapy ever! Tell Jesus directly, He loves the conversation.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Maggie, all these things are good advice.

My prayers are with you- My daughter was married to a man whose mother HATED Catholics and Italians, and made no bones about it. While this doesn’t ease your guilt, be glad your m-i-l had enough sense not to make a big thing about it.