Making a Good Confession

[amandamay83]

I am now attempting to get in the habit of going to regular confession. After 10 years of going without, it’s taking some remembering of how to do it properly.

1. I keep reading that it’s not just enough to confess, “I have lied”, but rather, you should number how many times you have lied. My goal is to go to confession at least once a month, but even if I went every week, I would surely have lied more than once. Do I keep a tally every night of my sins and take that into the booth with me?
2. How specific are we talking? Can I simply say I lied (or that I lied 17 times)? Or do I need to say, “I told a saleman my boss was out of the office when he was just avoiding his call. I told my friend I liked her haircut. I told my mom the sewing machine cost less than it really did.”
3. What counts as a sin? Naturally, the 10 Commandments. But are there other things I should be confessing? Jealousy/envy? Messing around at work? Playing on the internet when I should be folding laundry? Watching a rated R movie? Listening to pop/rock?
4. Is there some kind of checklist I can take into the confessional with me? (That was mostly a joke.)

 

[nicolep]

I am now attempting to get in the habit of going to regular confession. After 10 years of going without, it’s taking some remembering of how to do it properly.

1. I keep reading that it’s not just enough to confess, “I have lied”, but rather, you should number how many times you have lied. My goal is to go to confession at least once a month, but even if I went every week, I would surely have lied more than once. Do I keep a tally every night of my sins and take that into the booth with me?
2. How specific are we talking? Can I simply say I lied (or that I lied 17 times)? Or do I need to say, “I told a saleman my boss was out of the office when he was just avoiding his call. I told my friend I liked her haircut. I told my mom the sewing machine cost less than it really did.”
3. What counts as a sin? Naturally, the 10 Commandments. But are there other things I should be confessing? Jealousy/envy? Messing around at work? Playing on the internet when I should be folding laundry? Watching a rated R movie? Listening to pop/rock?
4. Is there some kind of checklist I can take into the confessional with me? (That was mostly a joke.)

1. A general idea is all your confessor usually needs. There is a big difference between one and 20. No need to be keep a tally…just get in the ball park.
2. I usually confess what I lied about and to who…example, “I lied to my mom to get out of something I didn’t want to do.”
3. & 4. Here’s a link to an Examination of Conscience. This should be a good start for you frpat.com/examen.htm

 

[PhilotheaZ]

It is not strictly necessary to give the number of times for venial sins (only for mortal sins). But if you think it would be helpful for your confessor to see a pattern of repeated venial sin developing, so he can counsel you on how to avoid that sin, you are free to do so.

 

[Joannm]

I usually never say the number of times specifically. I might say “I lied a few times,” or “I find myself lying often,” things like that. I have a regular confessor so he knows my habitiual sins and if I confess something new or out of character for me and if he wants more information he asks for it.

 

[Seatuck]

The Church requires us to confess in number and kind. Here’s the Canon law.

vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P3H.HTM
CHAPTER III.
THE PENITENT
Can. 987 To receive the salvific remedy of the sacrament of penance, a member of the Christian faithful must be disposed in such a way that, rejecting sins committed and having a purpose of amendment, the person is turned back to God.
Can. 988 §1. A member of the Christian faithful is obliged to confess in kind and number all grave sins committed after baptism and not yet remitted directly through the keys of the Church nor acknowledged in individual confession, of which the person has knowledge after diligent examination of conscience.
§2. It is recommended to the Christian faithful that they also confess venial sins.
Can. 989 After having reached the age of discretion, each member of the faithful is ob-liged to confess faithfully his or her grave sins at least once a year.
Can. 990 No one is prohibited from confessing through an interpreter as long as abuses and scandals are avoided and without prejudice to the prescript of ⇒ can. 983, §2.
Can. 991 Every member of the Christian faithful is free to confess sins to a legitimately approved confessor of his or her choice, even to one of another rite.

Here’s a little guide.

catholic.org/prayers/confession.php

I use the following examination of conscience. But I do have others which I refer to from time to time.

catholicparents.org/oxcart/Examination%20of%20Conscience.pdf

Just do your best to remember the number. Confess the closest you can get to it if you aren’t sure you hit upon the exact number. I’m sure the priest will understand. He may ask you questions about it to help you .

Oh, and I have taken a list into the confessional with me if it has been a long time or if there is a sin I have difficulty verbalizing. For some reason reading it helps me. Just make sure to destroy it afterward.

 

[Joannm]

The Church requires us to confess in number and kind. Here’s the Canon law.

vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P3H.HTM
CHAPTER III.
THE PENITENT
Can. 987 To receive the salvific remedy of the sacrament of penance, a member of the Christian faithful must be disposed in such a way that, rejecting sins committed and having a purpose of amendment, the person is turned back to God.
Can. 988 §1. A member of the Christian faithful is obliged to confess in kind and number all grave sins committed after baptism and not yet remitted directly through the keys of the Church nor acknowledged in individual confession, of which the person has knowledge after diligent examination of conscience.
§2. It is recommended to the Christian faithful that they also confess venial sins.
Can. 989 After having reached the age of discretion, each member of the faithful is ob-liged to confess faithfully his or her grave sins at least once a year.
Can. 990 No one is prohibited from confessing through an interpreter as long as abuses and scandals are avoided and without prejudice to the prescript of ⇒ can. 983, §2.
Can. 991 Every member of the Christian faithful is free to confess sins to a legitimately approved confessor of his or her choice, even to one of another rite.

Here’s a little guide.

catholic.org/prayers/confession.php

I use the following examination of conscience. But I do have others which I refer to from time to time.

catholicparents.org/oxcart/Examination%20of%20Conscience.pdf

Just do your best to remember the number. Confess the closest you can get to it if you aren’t sure you hit upon the exact number. I’m sure the priest will understand. He may ask you questions about it to help you .

Oh, and I have taken a list into the confessional with me if it has been a long time or if there is a sin I have difficulty verbalizing. For some reason reading it helps me. Just make sure to destroy it afterward.

You only have to confess in number your mortal sins, if you have committed any. It is not necessary for lesser or veniel sins.