Making Catholic Friends

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catholic03

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Hello

I am back on the forum today after a month break, but I may not post regularly again for a couple of months; We’ll see. Anyway, I have been troubled recently. I really like CAF because it enables me to get to know other Catholics from around the world and to share in the faith with them.

Unfortunately, I don’t seem to have any real life Catholic friends. I only see other faithful Catholics at Sunday Mass once a week. I am a teenager, and I would say the majority of parishioners at my Church are at least 30-40 years older than me. The only people my age come from very different backgrounds and cultures so I would find it very difficult to relate to them. Plus, most people my age who attend Church do not really care anyway, they just come because their parents make them. There are no youth groups at my parish.

I have no Catholic friends at school. In short, I have absolutely 0 Catholic friends, and I know nobody my age who truly practises the faith because they believe. I find it hard to relate to non Catholics. Me and my Pentecostal friend have many arguments which sometimes end in both of us saying offensive things to each other.

I suppose I am looking for suggestions from other forum members on how I may go about making Catholic friends. Because I seem to feel very lonely sometimes and feel I have no available ways to make Catholic friends. I’m sure I’ll have opportunities to make friends when I’m older, but it seems I have no available channel to do so at the moment.

God Bless and thank you.
 
Hey, it’s not my fault I am in my 30s, blame my mom. My two younger sisters are both Catholic, they are 15 and 16 respectively. I wish they knew more Catholics.
 
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Certainly not giving up. There is a LifeTeen group in another parish but for various reasons it seems to be too complicated to go there at the moment. In NZ, we don’t seem to take as much of an active approach to the faith as those in the US would and so parish life I suppose is a bit different.

Unfortunately, with NZ being one of the most secular countries in the world, you’d be very hard pressed to find a person my age who actually practises the faith of their own accord. And those that do are usually immigrants especially from the Philippines, whom I probably couldn’t culturally relate to being from a completely different culture and background.
 
I think I’m around your age and have the same problem. Almost all parishioners are old people, and I mean reeeally old, or 40/50 year old. Mostly women. I was able to make just one friend and she is 30. I don’t have any advice for you, I can just tell you I also feel so lonely.
 
catholic03 said:
And those that do are usually immigrants especially from the Philippines, whom I probably couldn’t culturally relate to being from a completely different culture and background.
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CajunJoy hit the nail on the head. Your complaining that you don’t have any Catholic friends, yet you reject the possibility of making Catholic friends because they do not comply with your rigid requirements.

Of all the people I have met in my life, Filipinos are exceptionally easy to make friends with. Plus their moms feed you like they found you starving in the desert- lumpias, adobo, pancit until you explode.

And there is absolutely no rule in Catholicism that you cannot make friends with non-Catholics.

God has provided you with SOOOOO MANY potential friends, and you are turning up your nose at the bounty he has offered you. Something ain’t right with that.

Here is something to think about: Jesus picked as his example of how we should carry out his law not an orthodox priest or rabbi, but a despised and hated heretical Samaritan for a reason. Think about that.
 
catholic03 said:
The only people my age come from very different backgrounds and cultures so I would find it very difficult to relate to them.
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The people here at CAF are from very different backgrounds and cultures 🙂 Friendship, real Christian brotherhood, extends beyond culture…
catholic03 said:
Plus, most people my age who attend Church do not really care anyway, they just come because their parents make them.
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Eh, wisdom and charity would guide us not to judge the interior of another person. If these people are not your friends, you may only be assuming motivations. Besides, we can be friends with those who are at different places in their Spiritual life.
catholic03 said:
There are no youth groups at my parish.
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Have you sat down and talked to your pastor? Contacted the Office of Youth Ministry at your Diocese? Be the agent of change! Attend some Diocesan events.
 
OP, as you get older, you will see that age doesn’t matter when it comes to friends. I am much older than you and I have friends that are 20-25 years older than me. I cherish their friendships as they offer different things than friends my own age.

Perhaps there are other people out there like yourself seeking friendship. Approach your pastor, by appointment, to discuss beginning a youth group. He will most likely offer an adult as its lead, so don’t say no because you think he will put you in charge of it. But then, be prepared to participate. And then after a while, if it is not for you, move on to some volunteer work in your parish, because again, friends come in all ages.

Good luck to you.
 
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Well firstly ask God for catholic friends and see what happens. Remember that he said to ask for what we want. Ask your parents too, they may be able to help and attend a young people friendly parish or mass and may be able to seek out youth events that are suitable on your behalf or even see your priest for you or with you. They can help you set soemthing up and or decide on volunteering and even do it with you. Be open to these things. I’m just saying if you think no I am not volunteering with all the oldies then you may miss out, someone may have grandchildren who come to stay often or something like that. God’s ways are not our ways and we must have patience and be prepared to take a chance. I met so many people in my parish and surrounding parishes through volunteering.
 
In your age group you might find Catholic scouting groups or a catholic homeschooling community (look online).
Reaching out to the Filipino community is also a great opportunity; they place a high priority on family and community and you might really benefit from being part of this.
Are you in Christchurch?
I found this on the net:


Edmund le Grelle lives in Christchurch and is an associate leader in scouting. When Edmund was part of Christchurch diocese’s Youth Team (as coordinator for World Youth Day in Sydney), he also helped organise the Mass held at the 2008 NZ Scout Jamboree.
This person might be able to direct you towards opportunities to connect with fellow Catholics, either in Christchurch or in other locales, given his connections.
Prayers for your growth in faith and hope and charity! May you be a blessing to all whom you meet.
Amen.
 
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Yes, Filipinos are certainly the kindest most pious people I’ve known. It’s just that unfortunately you’ll find in NZ and probably in other places that people tend to spend time with people of their own background and in many cases immigrants understandably would rather make friends with other immigrants.

I’ve also found it exceptionally difficult to make friends my entire life. But I’ll still keep persevering.
 
catholic03 said:
Yes, Filipinos are certainly the kindest most pious people I’ve known. It’s just that unfortunately you’ll find in NZ and probably in other places that people tend to spend time with people of their own background and in many cases immigrants understandably would rather make friends with other immigrants.

I’ve also found it exceptionally difficult to make friends my entire life. But I’ll still keep persevering.
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I’m an old lady but I also have difficulty making friends. I die a few small deaths when I have to be in social situations. We were a military family so moving every three years or so didn’t help the friend situation, always had to be finding new ones.

Don’t assume that the Filipinos would rather be with each other. Just get to know them. Sometimes that means making a conscious effort to go say “Hi” and, yes, that can seem very daunting. But asking questions about what they do outside of church might help you find youth who share your interests. And that could be the start of a friendship.
 
Join the Knights of Columbus, assuming you are 18 or older male. Even if you aren’t, you can still help out and get to know the knights while you perform charity services for your parish and community. Even if the knights are all older than you, they most likely have sons or daughters or grandchildren you can get to know.

Pray, Hope, and despair not.
 
I don’t have any actual friends who are Catholic, either; just acquaintances that I only ever talk to at Church or Catholic events. A lack of friends drove me nuts as a sheltered, homeschooled teenager, but I’m very content (perhaps too content) with it now. All I’m really interested in now is starting a family.
 
My post still stands. The Knights of the Southern Cross is part of the International Alliance of Catholic Knights (IACK) so there wouldn’t be much difference between the KoC and the KoSC.
 
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I can only say that in both the US and Canada, there are plenty of “Catholic Events” throughout the year.

They also make sure to separate older and younger Catholics events, they seem to be the best place to socialize, because everybody is interested in their faith and are of around the same age.

Regardless, do not forget to ask our Lord for His help, and do not discard older people’s friendship, everybody has something valuable we can learn from, our Lord can use anyone to guide us.

God Bless
 
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