Making my first confession

[BRC]

That is to say, I am making my first confession since I was 18 years of age…I am 39 now…so I have a lot of “issues” to discuss with our parish priest. A couple of questions…

1. Are confessions still made behind a screen? - I am hoping you can still do this…
2. What is the appropriate thing to say to the priest when you enter the confessional?

Thanks,
Brian

 

[jrabs]

What an awesome thing to do for Advent. That is great. Do not be afraid - you will feel like a new person.

 

[mercygate]

Churches are canonically required to provide a screen. Many also have (in the same space) a way to confess face-to-face. Your call entirely. Don’t let anybody tell you you have to do it one way or the other.

What do you say? Nobody seems to know these days. In your case, I would start with: “Father, it has been 18 years since my last confession. I need a coach.” He’ll help you from there. Sometimes in the case of a long absence from the sacrament, a priest might hijack your confession. If you have a great big ugly glob of well-understood sin-history that you need to unload in your own personal way, you can ask to be allowed to do that. Then the priest might come in afterwards and do a little prodding and counseling . . . Let the Holy Spirit have plenty of room.

You might prefer to make an appointment. A confession like this could take more time than is reasonable during regular hours (or not!). You could call and say: “Father, I haven’t been to confession in 18 years. I have a lot of questions; can I make an appointment?” If you have “issues” one way or another about the screen mention them at that time.

May God anoint your heart as you draw near to him in this grace-filled Sacrament.

 

[BRC]

Thank you both very much. I like the idea of asking for a “coach”, thats great. Actually I have a “list” that I have put together. Its based on a list in a really great book I read recently…Time management for Catholics by Dave Durand. The list is titled an Examination of Conscious and is provided to help one prepare for confession. Obviously I haven’t been a “good Catholic” for some time and have recently (for the past year to 18 months…) been tyring to learn and grow in my faith…I guess the holy spirit is at work and I am doing the best I can to follow…Well, I was reading down the list in this book and I was shocked to see just how many mortal sins I have accumulated!!! Yikes…and I haven’t even thought about the “non-mortal” (if thats a word) ones yet…Thats why I asked about the screen. Our parish is a smaller one, and my son goes to school there as well. So I see the priest quite often, and I would be so embarrased to face him after…I know I shouldn’t be, I probably won’t tell him anything he hasn’t heard before, but I will be admitting to things that I haven’t admitted to before…
Brian

 

[mercygate]

Brian,

Do this however you need to do it. One reason I made my general confession at a monastery when I came into the Church was because I didn’t want to do it in my home parish – for the reasons you mention. But guess what? I’ve been back to that monastery many, many times and have become a friend to the priest who heard that confession (and it was a doozie!). The Sacrament is amazing. One can almost predict that your pastor’s respect for you will skyrocket if you choose to do it at home.

jrabs is right: Advent is the perfect time.

 

[justinmatter]

as the otheres on this thread have said, do it any way you like but personally, i feel certain postures help
0)say the mea culpe (i confess) before going to the priest
we were taught to first say to the priest-

1. forgive me father for i have sinned
   2)my last confession was ______ (time) ago
   3)these are my sins…
2. say the act of contrition while or after the priest is absolving

my spiritual director encouraged me do a few things-
1)kneel beside the priest (as was done in old confessionals) to give a sense of repentance and also of who the priest represents(jesus) in the sacrament. he did not put it this way, of course

2)go as regularly to confession as possible or required and never despair of repeated failure

3)as far as possible, go to the same priest. this helps because he knows your situation and can best help deal with it. this may not apply to your first confession in 21 yrs. but it’s good to keep in mind

hope this helps