Male None Catholic Vasectomy

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Andy_42

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Hi

Obviously i would discuss this with my g/friend. But i have no intention of ever having more than two kids. I know catholic rules on birth control, but if the none catholic partner had a vasectomy to pretty much rule out having more kids, would this be a problem in terms of the catholic religion?

Thanks
Andy
 
**It would be a problem in terms of your marriage. To enter into a marriage knowing that you will deliberately and arbitrarily cut off your God given fertility could very possibly invalidate the marriage.

If your g/f is a practicing, faithful Catholic your attitude towards this gift could cause serious hurt and resentment. If she is sort of fallen away at the moment and thinks it doesn’t matter, watch out when she does come back to the Church…

if I were her mother I would be steering her in another direction for sure.
**
 
You’re talkin about goint down and gettin fixed without her knowing it? :confused:
 
Entering parenthood with rigidly set ideas about anything is bad… cuz kids challege everything you know, everything you thought you knew, and everything you never thought you would need to know! So bear that in mind.

And yes, as Malia said, entering marriage with a determined intention to render the marital act sterile could invalidate your marriage.
 
While it wouldn’t be a sin on her part and while I can understand the non-Catholic partner using some type of artificial contraception (even though I don’t agree and I think people should be on the same page regarding that), I don’t think it’s a good idea to go in with that mindset. Kids challenge everything about your life and if you were to ever change your mind and decide that maybe a third wouldn’t be so bad, keep in mind that vasectomies are not always reversible.

Honestly, with kids, don’t go into marriage with strict rules, but guidelines. It’s a lot different when you actually have them.
 
If you went into your marriage saying that you were only open to having two children, you would not be entering into a valid marriage.

If you and your fiancee talked about it and said that was what you considered ideal, but left it open to be something that you would reevaluate as the years passed, that would be different.

Having that openness does a lot for the relationship between a husband and a wife. You would need to have good communication and have an ongoing dialog about your needs if you have that kind of an openness. I think in the long run being open to life makes for a stronger marriage and a closer relationship between spouses.

One partner insisting on sterilization will kill intimacy faster than you can believe. BTDT have the divorce to show for it.
 
Andy_42 said:
Hi

Obviously i would discuss this with my g/friend. But i have no intention of ever having more than two kids. I know catholic rules on birth control, but if the none catholic partner had a vasectomy to pretty much rule out having more kids, would this be a problem in terms of the catholic religion?

Thanks
Andy
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Andy, first, please start using the correct term. It’s non-Catholic not “none Catholic”.

Secondly, I think you need to educate yourself much more on the Catholic faith if you intend to marry a Catholic. A marriage that has preconditions placed on it-- such as you state above-- can actually render the marriage invalid.

You should also discuss your intention to sterilize yourself with her as well. YES, this would be a problem. Although she would not be committing any sin if you could not be dissuaded from getting a vasectomy, it could place a very big rift between the two of you if you were to do so against her wishes.

Honestly, you should consider dating someone who shares your values. So far, from your posts, I don’t see that you share ANY.
 
Either you enjoy baiting people, or you are intentionally telling everybody here that you are out to break that young woman’s heart.

You don’t respect her enough to wait until you are married to have sex with her. You insist on a “healthy” sex life or you’re going to stop seeing her. Now, before she’s even had the time to consider it, you’re marrying her and want to plan in a vasectomy, possibly without her knowledge.

You need to really study what being Catholic is, if you hope to keep this young woman long enough to marry her. Otherwise, I think you might be better served by finding somebody else who shares your views.
 
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