Male sexuality and youth

[sonoftherosary]

Dear Catholic Answers,

I remember listening to Catholic Answers Live on the radio a few years ago, and the speaker was speaking about how pornography is harmful to a young man’s health and can lead to erectile dysfunction in a young man as early as 20 years old. (Erectile dysfunction is more closely associated with older men, not young men).

The speaker was shocked and suggested that men in their early twenties should be “blossoming” in their sexuality and that it is extremely strange that a young man would be experiencing erectile dysfunction at an age when his sexuality should be at its peak.

This podcast really confused me: should we encourage a “blossoming” sexuality in young men? Is that a good thing? Usually, a strong sexuality is associated with the sin of adultery and lust in men… and yet, this speaker spoke about sexuality in young men as if it were a good thing.

I heard a news story that said that when Pope Francis was a young man, he would have crushes on the pretty girls in his town and he would go around with his 10 guy friends and flirt with pretty girls in his town … is this a good thing?

How do we differentiate between healthy sexual desire and the sin of lust?

 

[Prodigal_Son]

Dear Catholic Answers,

I remember listening to Catholic Answers Live on the radio a few years ago, and the speaker was speaking about how pornography is harmful to a young man’s health and can lead to erectile dysfunction in a young man as early as 20 years old. (Erectile dysfunction is more closely associated with older men, not young men).

The speaker was shocked and suggested that men in their early twenties should be “blossoming” in their sexuality and that it is extremely strange that a young man would be experiencing erectile dysfunction at an age when his sexuality should be at its peak.

This podcast really confused me: should we encourage a “blossoming” sexuality in young men? Is that a good thing? Usually, a strong sexuality is associated with the sin of adultery and lust in men… and yet, this speaker spoke about sexuality in young men as if it were a good thing.

I heard a news story that said that when Pope Francis was a young man, he would have crushes on the pretty girls in his town and he would go around with his 10 guy friends and flirt with pretty girls in his town … is this a good thing?

How do we differentiate between healthy sexual desire and the sin of lust?

Sexual desire is a good thing, and it ought to manifest itself through chivalrous, flattering, and attentive behavior. Porn causes it to manifest itself through lustful longings. Porn makes the sexual instinct – an instinct upon which civilization is built – collapse in upon itself.

 

[pensmama87]

Sexual desire is a good thing, and it ought to manifest itself through chivalrous, flattering, and attentive behavior. Porn causes it to manifest itself through lustful longings. Porn makes the sexual instinct – an instinct upon which civilization is built – collapse in upon itself.

 

[Stephen_says]

Dear Catholic Answers,

I remember listening to Catholic Answers Live on the radio a few years ago, and the speaker was speaking about how pornography is harmful to a young man’s health and can lead to erectile dysfunction in a young man as early as 20 years old. (Erectile dysfunction is more closely associated with older men, not young men).

The speaker was shocked and suggested that men in their early twenties should be “blossoming” in their sexuality and that it is extremely strange that a young man would be experiencing erectile dysfunction at an age when his sexuality should be at its peak.

This podcast really confused me: should we encourage a “blossoming” sexuality in young men? Is that a good thing? Usually, a strong sexuality is associated with the sin of adultery and lust in men… and yet, this speaker spoke about sexuality in young men as if it were a good thing.

I heard a news story that said that when Pope Francis was a young man, he would have crushes on the pretty girls in his town and he would go around with his 10 guy friends and flirt with pretty girls in his town … is this a good thing?

How do we differentiate between healthy sexual desire and the sin of lust?

If a man gets married in his 20s, I think a blossoming sexuality is a good thing, all the more catholic children to fill the pews!

But men don’t want to get married in their 20s anymore, and I think Porn has a part to play in that desire, as well as the physiological disorders it causes.

If no one ever flirted, there would be far fewer holy marriages today. He had no idea that he was going to be the Pope so it was perfectly fine, as long as it was in a respectful manner.

 

[agapewolf]

A definition of terms is in order:

Sexuality is being male or female. That’s it. (In that is how we love God and love others as men and women). It is part of our identity.

So when saying “blossoming sexuality” it depends on what the speaker means.

Then when one moves on to discussing sexual desire (given by God and good) and how that is acted upon (lustfully, addictions, self control, prayerful offering to God, given in marriage, etc) can be either good or bad.

 

[Kelfa28]

Sexual desire in BOTH men and women are VERY good things.

As long as this sexual desire is preserved and treasured and taken care of. If it is…then it results in very healthy and holy marriages that flourish and fill the pews up.

If it’s severely damaged by porn, birth control, fornication and adultery…then it’s not healthy and can certainly result in physiological manifestations…but mostly it destroys a man or a woman’s understanding of what sexuality is supposed to be.

There is a reason why pornography is so bad for people, men especially. Even the secular side of society can easily recognize this.

 

[truetofaith]

If a man gets married in his 20s, I think a blossoming sexuality is a good thing, all the more catholic children to fill the pews!

But men don’t want to get married in their 20s anymore, and I think Porn has a part to play in that desire, as well as the physiological disorders it causes.

If no one ever flirted, there would be far fewer holy marriages today. He had no idea that he was going to be the Pope so it was perfectly fine, as long as it was in a respectful manner.

Men don’t want to get married in their 20s any more because girls have been morally loose & don’t press a guy to love & marry before the sexual completion!

Like we used to say : " Why buy the cow, when you get the milk for free."

Also, the line in the song by Frank Sinatra…“Love & Marriage”…“dad was told by mother,… you can’t have one without the other.”

 

[whm]

Dear Catholic Answers,

I remember listening to Catholic Answers Live on the radio a few years ago, and the speaker was speaking about how pornography is harmful to a young man’s health and can lead to erectile dysfunction in a young man as early as 20 years old. (Erectile dysfunction is more closely associated with older men, not young men).

The speaker was shocked and suggested that men in their early twenties should be “blossoming” in their sexuality and that it is extremely strange that a young man would be experiencing erectile dysfunction at an age when his sexuality should be at its peak.

What the speaker was referring to is PIED , Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction. It is a real and prevalent problem. Men’s brains get conditioned by viewing porn to the point that a person (i.e. their current or future wife) cannot stimulate a full or even partial erection. After awhile the porn they normally view is not enough either and they progress to more aggressive and darker porn. Other related effects are irritability, lack of concentration, and an inability to look women in the eye or communicate without anxiety. Other somewhat common porn induced sexual disorders include pre mature climax in men and porn related homosexual desires(distinct from homosexual attraction to real people). These issues are now being widely recognized outside of religious circles and in scientific studies. These issues also dissipate when porn and masturbation are ceased for an extended period of time (say 3-6 months).

The key to avoiding these issues and allow your sexuality to “blossom” in a healthy way, is to interact with real people not synthetic images or text (soft or hard core porn). Of course, any sexual activity should be delayed until marriage.

 

[Stephen_says]

Men don’t want to get married in their 20s any more because girls have been morally loose & don’t press a guy to love & marry before the sexual completion!

Like we used to say : " Why buy the cow, when you get the milk for free."

Also, the line in the song by Frank Sinatra…“Love & Marriage”…“dad was told by mother,… you can’t have one without the other.”

While I don’t disagree with you…I hope you are not putting the onus on young women exclusively. A guy can say “no” just as easily as a woman. I hold it is largely men at fault for forcing society into the false belief that the only use of a women is as a sexual object, and it breaks my heart that young women bought into the lie, but I do not blame them. Men are supposed to protect women, not from themselves, but from ourselves, and we have let them and our children down.

 

[Sarcelle]

Men don’t want to get married in their 20s any more because girls have been morally loose & don’t press a guy to love & marry before the sexual completion!

Like we used to say : " Why buy the cow, when you get the milk for free."

Also, the line in the song by Frank Sinatra…“Love & Marriage”…“dad was told by mother,… you can’t have one without the other.”

I don’t know whether to be irritated or angered by this. Comparing women to cows that you can buy.

 

[Tarpeian_Rock]

I don’t know whether to be irritated or angered by this. Comparing women to cows that you can buy.

I heard that expression from the sisters in high school 50 years ago. It’s an expression, not a comparison.

 

[agapewolf]

While I don’t disagree with you…I hope you are not putting the onus on young women exclusively. A guy can say “no” just as easily as a woman. I hold it is largely men at fault for forcing society into the false belief that the only use of a women is as a sexual object, and it breaks my heart that young women bought into the lie, but I do not blame them. Men are supposed to protect women, not from themselves, but from ourselves, and we have let them and our children down.

Thank you. As JPII says, “It is the duty of every man to uphold the dignity of every woman”

 

[whm]

While I don’t disagree with you…I hope you are not putting the onus on young women exclusively. A guy can say “no” just as easily as a woman. I hold it is largely men at fault for forcing society into the false belief that the only use of a women is as a sexual object, and it breaks my heart that young women bought into the lie, but I do not blame them. Men are supposed to protect women, not from themselves, but from ourselves, and we have let them and our children down.

I don’t know that I agree with this part, at least not for the past 40 years. There are plenty of female pop and movie stars that promote themselves and women in general as sex objects.

 

[Anglewannabe]

The speaker was shocked and suggested that men in their early twenties should be “blossoming” in their sexuality and that it is extremely strange that a young man would be experiencing erectile dysfunction at an age when his sexuality should be at its peak.

I think you misunderstood the word ‘blossoming’. You seem to think it means to ‘have sex frequently’ and that is NOT (at least I hope it is not) what the speaker meant. He meant that men should be learning about the appropriate God given ways to handle their sexuality. ie how to act around a women, how to treat women as their sister’s in Christ and how to respectfully court a woman they think is special. It probably also means to learn to take up sports and other healthy activities to decrease the temptations

 

[WillyAL]

I remember listening to Catholic Answers Live on the radio a few years ago, and the speaker was speaking about how pornography is harmful to a young man’s health and can lead to erectile dysfunction in a young man as early as 20 years old.

Rubbish.

A review of Pubmed (link is external), the largest online database of medical literature, reveals that there is not a single published study linking pornography and erectile dysfunction.

psychologytoday.com/blog/women-who-stray/201308/erectile-dysfunction-myth

 

[whm]

psychologytoday.com/blog/women-who-stray/201308/erectile-dysfunction-myth

They might still be able to get an erection to porn, doesn’t mean they don’t have ed. They have ed because they cannot get an erection with a real person. Do some reading at yourbrainonporn.com and nofaps.com(including links to studies). These sites and the people on them have zero moral objection to masturbation or occasional porn viewing for that matter. Yet they are dedicated to helping young men break their porn addiction so that can get an erection and maintain it again without viewing porn.

 

[truetofaith]

I 'm taking a break from the sex talk and wish everyone…HAPPY EASTER !