man-made laws?

[SAHmommy]

My mom was raised in a devout Catholic family. She went to Catholic grade and high school boarding schools in Rome and a Catholic college. She says she began to fall away from the church after Vatican II. She says that since everything changed, then it’s all just manmade rules. In fact, we got into an arguement at Midnight Mass because when Stepfather(nonCatholic) asked if we were going up for communion, I told him that we couldn’t because neither one of us were married in the Church. She got very upset, saying those rules didn’t matter because “THEY” change the rules all the time. She brought up things like how it was a sin to eat meat on Fridays was she was young and it used to be a sin to eat after dinner the night before Mass and now it’s not. Then she went on about the changes in the Mass (TLM to NO). She then said “THEY can’t keep the Eucharist from you, the Eucharist is for everybody. No one follows all those rules anyway.” On one hand I can see her point, if something was a sin, shouldn’t it always be a sin? On the other hand, as I said to her, if ya want to join “THEIR” club, you gotta follow “THEIR” rules. This is one of the things that still bothers me even after returning to the RCC. The fact that the Orthodox church maintained so many of the practices without changing, seems to reenforce their motto of “the ancient faith of the Fathers”. I know that following all the rules is a sign of obedience to the Church, but it still bothers me.
SAHmommy

 

[Tantum_ergo]

You could tell your mom that disciplines can change; dogma and doctrine do not.

Eating fish on Fridays may no longer be “the” Friday penance that it was for generations–but one is still obligated to do a Friday penance. Lots of people find abstaining from meat on ALL Fridays easier to do than having “Lenten no meat” Fridays and some OTHER penitential practice on all the other ones. . .so if your mother likes, she may absolutely continue with the old practice of meatless Fridays.

“The Eucharist” is not something that we are per se ENTITLED to, as if by doing x number of things we get some sort of prize. If your mom wants to play by the rules, then she needs to remember that the Eucharist is NOT a discipline. IT does not change. Its RULES do not change. If we are to receive it in a state of grace or risk mortal sin according to St. Paul, then those rules still hold today and will hold until the Second Coming and beyond.

Part of the problem with many of today’s Catholics is that they want to have their cake and eat it too. They want to have all the trappings and all the cachet of “the one true faith” yet they don’t want to have to be bothered with any real WORK. They want to find EXCUSES not to have to follow any rules, hence the agitated squawking about “rule changing” supposedly by the CHURCH somehow equalling “rule DROPPING” by everybody else.

P.S. Though I was 7 when the rules “changed” (Vatican II), and likewise went to a Catholic college in the 70s (big mistake, very very few Catholic colleges of that time offered authentic Catholic teachings, God forgive them), and thus can empathize with your mother in many ways, I would like to tell her that if she takes the effort to find out what Vatican II REALLY said, and what the Catechism of the Catholic Church REALLY teaches, she will find that just because Father X or Bishop Y or the congregation of St. So-and-So did, said, or believed something, does not make it what the Church teaches or taught. Since she knows from you already what the Church teaches on reception of the Eucharist, she now is obliged not to defend HER IMPROPER understanding (even if she got that understanding through a priest or parish), but to investigate (and there are web sites from the Vatican on down) and to learn (or relearn) that correct teaching and ABIDE BY IT. It may be hard to swallow (I know a LOT of people my age who are fairly choking on the humble pie they’ve had to swallow as they realize how they have first unknowingly, then unwittingly, and finally unconcernedly, failed to continue their Catholic education and fallen into grave error.

One cannot just stop learning after confirmation and assume that one “knows the rules for life”, neither can one assume that if one goes to a new parish and is told something that either contradicts what was taught in religious education, or has never been heard of, that one can just “accept it” without bothering to try to learn if it is TRUE teaching.

 

[jasonb82abn]

Jmj

Greetings SAHmommy!

I can surely relate to what you’re saying. Many people in my family have expressed similar feelings towards particular teachings of the Church. Some members of my family have flat-out vocally rejected and condemned particular Church teachings… even in the company of Protestants and non-Christians. It can definitely be upsetting to hear someone you care about say: “I will never agree with the Church on ______” and say it as though it is perfectly acceptable (or even admirable) to publicly disagree with official teachings of the Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church.

To make a suggestion… I don’t know how you might bring it up, but I suppose you could try to discuss and demonstrate the (significant) difference(s) between “doctrine” and “discipline.” It sounds as though your Mom doesn’t see or understand the difference.

Since the Church is a family… maybe use an analogy that she can relate to as a mother! With parenting, a mother might tell her children not to do a particular thing (like go outside and play or something,) not that it’s WRONG to do that thing – but it WOULD be wrong to disobey her. Maybe she might tell her children to not get into the cupboard and eat some snacks… because she is preparing dinner or has it in mind to prepare it soon. If she specifically tells her children NOT to do something… or TO do something… they are obligated to honor her direction, or they are simply misbehaving and acting selfishly. Now, try applying that to our supernatural family… the Church, and maybe she will see the difference - and understand the nature of “discipline” a little better!

I know that was a pretty lame example, but I’m sure you can think of something she would respond well to! You know her better than I do! More than anything though… pray for her. Both of you have a mother in common. And it never hurts to ask for help from your Mom!

May the Lord be with you!

Jason

 

[SAHmommy]

I guess I should point out that my mom is now a Christmas and Easter Catholic. She’s been that way ever since she was denied an anullment back in the 1970’s. Her cousin, who is now a retired priest, told her to keep trying, eventually, she’d find someone to grant it to her.

SAHmommy