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ErinMagdala
Guest
Hi everyone, I have some questions about getting your marriage “blessed” in the church, and about my parish priest.
In the past months I have been coming back to the church with a great desire to live for god and receive the sacraments, but like many, I’ve hit the huge roadblock of being married outside of the church. I was told by my priest that “if all goes well we can get you confirmed by Easter,” and after looking online I realized that this is sort of the “cookie cutter procedure.” He told me that there is a mandatory 6 month “marriage preparation course” in which my husband and I need to meet him and do counseling.
Here’s the issue:
My husband just got a job and works 6 days a week doing manual labor, and I am a full time pre-med student. We could meet on Sunday but the priest says he’s busy, and Monday is his day off. My marriage is already strained because we are in great financial stress, and living off of $3000 financial aid that I get every 5 months, and will have to apply for food stamps soon. We are living with my father who is also in 300,000 dollars of debt and is a gambling addict. Not to mention my husband is very nonreligious and is not exactly enthusiastic of the idea of sitting down with a priest weekly when he really “doesn’t want to be a part of it.”
I feel that the priest is maybe just “going through the motions” and not seeing the stress that this is creating on our marriage. I am very eager to be a part of the church and it seems like this approach is forcing me to view my husband as an enemy and a block to my goals. Is there anything that says we must go through this counseling? Given our situation could we shorten the time-frame down at all?
Also Priest as a spiritual adviser:
My parish priest does not seem very interested in my spiritual journey. I have been away from the church since I was a child, I would expect a little more nurturing than this. He doesn’t want to meet with me unless my husband’s coming, and seems annoyed by my questions about the gospel and doctrine. We’ve spoken 3 times, and none of the times was he open to speaking about my experiences thus far, or giving me advice to grow my faith, scriptures I should study and think about, etc. It’s just “down to business” with this whole counseling then RCIA at this date/that date.
Do you think that this view is echoed by most Fathers or did I just catch one who’s uninterested and stuck in the movements? Should I think about talking to another parish’s priest who is more open-minded? Is there any quote that says this counseling is mandatory, or is he just pushing this on us because it’s the norm?
Thanks.
In the past months I have been coming back to the church with a great desire to live for god and receive the sacraments, but like many, I’ve hit the huge roadblock of being married outside of the church. I was told by my priest that “if all goes well we can get you confirmed by Easter,” and after looking online I realized that this is sort of the “cookie cutter procedure.” He told me that there is a mandatory 6 month “marriage preparation course” in which my husband and I need to meet him and do counseling.
Here’s the issue:
My husband just got a job and works 6 days a week doing manual labor, and I am a full time pre-med student. We could meet on Sunday but the priest says he’s busy, and Monday is his day off. My marriage is already strained because we are in great financial stress, and living off of $3000 financial aid that I get every 5 months, and will have to apply for food stamps soon. We are living with my father who is also in 300,000 dollars of debt and is a gambling addict. Not to mention my husband is very nonreligious and is not exactly enthusiastic of the idea of sitting down with a priest weekly when he really “doesn’t want to be a part of it.”
I feel that the priest is maybe just “going through the motions” and not seeing the stress that this is creating on our marriage. I am very eager to be a part of the church and it seems like this approach is forcing me to view my husband as an enemy and a block to my goals. Is there anything that says we must go through this counseling? Given our situation could we shorten the time-frame down at all?
Also Priest as a spiritual adviser:
My parish priest does not seem very interested in my spiritual journey. I have been away from the church since I was a child, I would expect a little more nurturing than this. He doesn’t want to meet with me unless my husband’s coming, and seems annoyed by my questions about the gospel and doctrine. We’ve spoken 3 times, and none of the times was he open to speaking about my experiences thus far, or giving me advice to grow my faith, scriptures I should study and think about, etc. It’s just “down to business” with this whole counseling then RCIA at this date/that date.
Do you think that this view is echoed by most Fathers or did I just catch one who’s uninterested and stuck in the movements? Should I think about talking to another parish’s priest who is more open-minded? Is there any quote that says this counseling is mandatory, or is he just pushing this on us because it’s the norm?
Thanks.
