Manners while informing non-catholics?

[chrsbrosky]

Hello everyone!

Tomorrow is Saturday (finally!) and I am planning to go to the mall with three friends: one catholic and two protestants. We are all very good friends, and I am looking forward to an afternoon of fun.

However, I feel that I must be more prepared. Last night I was talking to one of the protestant friends on AIM chat and she asked me what I was doing. I answered that I was watching TV and then going to pray the rosary. She then responded, “Why are you saying the rosary? Did someone die?!?”

After calming her down, I proceeded to tell her the history behind the rosary and how amazing the prayer is. I don’t know how she felt about my little sermon on Mary and the devotion because she suddenly had to go while I was in the middle of typing it. This is where my question comes in.

It’s one thing to tell people about our faith, but how should we act while speaking about it? I want to be appear very convincing, knowledgable, and trustworthy, but at the same time I don’t want to offend her or anyone else. I know I should be respectful of her views, but I do want to spread my beliefs wholeheartedly. Tomorrow, if we begin talking about our faiths, I want to be ready and persuasive. Can someone give me some tips? (Be as specific as you want, for example: What exactly I should say; What my tone of voice should be; Hand motions I should use; What my standing posture should be )

Oh, and one other question… How can I be very convincing while explaining transubstantiation and the Eucharist? I was explaining it to another friend of mine who pushed it off as nonsense.

Thank you and God bless!

 

[Monica4316]

well definitely be friendly, not argumentative, be very very kind…don’t give toooo much detail that can sort of throw people off or give them the wrong impression. If you give a simple but accurate answer, they might ask more questions though, and be more open. It’s fine to give detail, just not all at once, - step by step. Especially when talking to Protestants, because it’s a totally different mindset being Catholic, in a way. Also, here’s something I learned the hard way, - it’s sometimes better to simply live your Catholic faith and only talk sometimes, don’t bring up the subject all the time. For example, if you and your friends would go to lunch together, and you say grace, make the sign of the cross. And eventually they might ask. Also pray for your friends, because - before we plant a seed the soil needs to be watered, correct?

God bless

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

It sounds like you’re very enthusiastic about your faith and that’s wonderful. Just don’t let it become overkill.

For example, if someone says “why are you praying the rosary? Did someone die?” you might respond simply with “I pray the rosary every day…I find it very meaningful.” Then allow them to ask more questions if they’re interested.

People won’t ask questions if every time they do they get a half-hour lecture. Let the other person ask more questions if they’re interested in the topic.

 

[joanofarc2008]

It sounds like you’re very enthusiastic about your faith and that’s wonderful. Just don’t let it become overkill.

For example, if someone says “why are you praying the rosary? Did someone die?” you might respond simply with “I pray the rosary every day…I find it very meaningful.” Then allow them to ask more questions if they’re interested.

People won’t ask questions if every time they do they get a half-hour lecture. Let the other person ask more questions if they’re interested in the topic.

This is probably the best advice.

 

[Elizium23]

You should always tailor your discourse to the audience. You can see this in action in the New Testament. The Evangelists wrote each of the four gospels for different types of people, and therefore, each has a different “feel” to it. By the same token, Paul wrote his letters to different Churches and different people, and covered different subjects in them, while again touching on the main subject, Christ, frequently.

You describe your friends as “Protestant”, so you already know some things about their beliefs in relation to ours. That’s a good thing. The more you learn about their doctrine, the more you can teach them about the Truth. Communication methods over the Internet can be effective when sending links or cut-and-paste text, but very poor at showing social cues. Sarcasm does not come out automatically over IM. Beware of these limitations. You may want to start conversations in person, if possible, and continue them online, to open the possibility of reading your friend’s body language first.

Good luck!

 

[brgregmack]

well definitely be friendly, not argumentative, be very very kind…don’t give toooo much detail that can sort of throw people off or give them the wrong impression. If you give a simple but accurate answer, they might ask more questions though, and be more open. It’s fine to give detail, just not all at once, - step by step. Especially when talking to Protestants, because it’s a totally different mindset being Catholic, in a way. Also, here’s something I learned the hard way, - it’s sometimes better to simply live your Catholic faith and only talk sometimes, don’t bring up the subject all the time. For example, if you and your friends would go to lunch together, and you say grace, make the sign of the cross. And eventually they might ask. Also pray for your friends, because - before we plant a seed the soil needs to be watered, correct?

God bless

I’m learning this as well. As a recovering addict, I have a sponsor who is Protestant. Thankfully, he comes from a background of having no prejudices against the Church and as such is very interested. Even if I don’t get him to convert, at least these discussions will bring him (and me) closer to Christ.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

When I am asked to explain something I try to be specific but without necessarily going on about it forever. For example, the rosary situation. I’d say something like: it is a very old devotion whose purpose is to lead us closer to Christ. It is based on his life, seen through the eyes of his mother. She is a signpost towards him and an example of perfect faith and love. Basically what you are saying to your protestant friends here is that the rosary is all about Christ.

The same for other doctrines. Give them facts and don’t apologise for them. The person who dismissed transubstantiation as rubbish could have been pointed to certain passages from the Bible, said by Jesus himself. I’d stress that this belief was never questioned but was central to Christians and that it was the reformation that started making up alternative explanations, more acceptable to our human understanding.

It is important to present our faith as** the **authentic Christianity, and not something that is an alternative to protestantism. It is the other way around and it is worth repeating. In a nice way, of course.

Good luck and don’t worry too much. It seems you are doing really well.

 

[PetoVeritas]

It’s one thing to tell people about our faith, but how should we act while speaking about it? I want to be appear very convincing, knowledgable, and trustworthy, but at the same time I don’t want to offend her or anyone else. I know I should be respectful of her views, but I do want to spread my beliefs wholeheartedly.

Oh God Bless you for this attitude! I don’t feel so alienated now because I am also very passionate about my faith! :blushing: And I want to share it in full detail with everyone I meet who asks, but I know I overkill a lot.

I think it’s good to be respectful of a non-Catholic’s views, I think that’s important, but I also think that a good respectful conversation is a two-way street. The person you’re talking to should be respectful of your views as well. (If they’re mean or dismissive in an ugly way when you give them an answer then that’s very disrespectful.) I am afraid, as Catholics, we tend to take an apologetic (not ‘in defense of the faith’ but in an ‘i’m sorry’ way) manner about our faith when we talk to non-Catholics as if we need to apologize that our views of faith are so different from theirs because it might be offensive to them. I think that attitude can sometimes lead us to give weak and “wimpy” answers to people because we may feel intimidated by their opinion of it.

I think that just because it is (or can be) offensive to them because it’s so different from what they’re taught, doesn’t mean that we should approach the subject with an apologetic, censored answer. Meaning, don’t withhold any truth in the explanation and don’t be ashamed of the answer even if they’re scornful of it. However, the truth can put people off, so a brief but charitable answer is usually all that non-Catholics can stomach sometimes.

Does that make sense?

So if they say, “How is it that you can believe that the bread and wine becomes Christ?” Say something like, “Because I take John 6 literally when Christ says we must ‘eat his flesh and drink his blood’.” (I actually just wrote about this on my blog here if you’ll excuse the gratuitous plug.)

or

“Why do you pray to Mary with the Rosary?”
say, “The Rosary is actually a way to meditate on the events of Christ’s life and a way of asking Mary to come with us in prayer to Jesus.”

Also, it is very difficult for non-Catholics to relate to anything outside of Scripture as a source of Authority. So sometimes, if you’re able to give them a reason from Scripture it really helps them to understand why you do what you do.

OH and one more thing… Don’t feel like YOU have to be the one that convinces them. Just be the ‘farmer’ who throws the seeds out. Let the Holy Spirit work in you and through you to help them to understand. AND, if the conversation about faith doesn’t come up at all… then just show them how much grace the Lord has imparted to you in your life by living out your faith in all your actions and words.

 

[chrsbrosky]

I don’t know if this will be the last reply in this thread, but I want to say thank you to everyone for answering with great wisdom and advice!

God bless you all

 

[InternetWoman]

It sounds like you’re very enthusiastic about your faith and that’s wonderful. Just don’t let it become overkill.

For example, if someone says “why are you praying the rosary? Did someone die?” you might respond simply with “I pray the rosary every day…I find it very meaningful.” Then allow them to ask more questions if they’re interested.

People won’t ask questions if every time they do they get a half-hour lecture. Let the other person ask more questions if they’re interested in the topic.

This is probably the best advice.

I second that!

 

[jmcrae]

Hello everyone!

Tomorrow is Saturday (finally!) and I am planning to go to the mall with three friends: one catholic and two protestants. We are all very good friends, and I am looking forward to an afternoon of fun.

However, I feel that I must be more prepared. Last night I was talking to one of the protestant friends on AIM chat and she asked me what I was doing. I answered that I was watching TV and then going to pray the rosary. She then responded, “Why are you saying the rosary? Did someone die?!?”

After calming her down, I proceeded to tell her the history behind the rosary and how amazing the prayer is. I don’t know how she felt about my little sermon on Mary and the devotion because she suddenly had to go while I was in the middle of typing it. This is where my question comes in.

It’s one thing to tell people about our faith, but how should we act while speaking about it? I want to be appear very convincing, knowledgable, and trustworthy, but at the same time I don’t want to offend her or anyone else. I know I should be respectful of her views, but I do want to spread my beliefs wholeheartedly.

Just answer the question that was asked, Try to resist the temptation to stuff the entire Catechism into the inquirer’s head, all in one conversation. Giving her a history lesson on the Rosary may have caused her to feel a little overwhelmed. I actually doubt that she will feel inclined to ask you anything, just in case she gets another lecture.

Take it slow and easy, keep it short, and stick to the point. Smile, and be friendly.

Oh, and one other question… How can I be very convincing while explaining transubstantiation and the Eucharist? I was explaining it to another friend of mine who pushed it off as nonsense.

Thank you and God bless!

Believe in it. Be baffled that anyone understands it differently.