Marital intercourse without completion

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Wannabelikemary

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I’m catholic and my husband is not. After getting married I felt called to start using NFP and my husband agreed to do it. During times of abstinence my husband desires to have genital to genital intercourse without either of us completing. Is this morally acceptable? I’ve talked to three priests about it during confession and they said it was ok. I’m still doubtful after reading these forums and other resources. I would prefer not to do it but it seems to make NFP doable for my husband. Any references to church teachings or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance!
 
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Wannabelikemary said:
During times of abstinence my husband desires to have genital to genital intercourse without either of us completing
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  1. I don’t think y’all understand the definition of abstinence
  2. That’s how babies are made. Sperm is still present.
  3. He just rolls over and goes to sleep? That’s a rhetorical question. Speaking as a man, this doesn’t sound right🤔
As for the morality part, I’d trust my priest.
Wannabelikemary said:
but it seems to make NFP doable for my husband.
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Yeah, because you’re not actually doing NFP
if you’re having sex during times of supposed abstinence.

I did a quick search on this sites search function concerning NFP resources. There are many to look at. Here is just one:
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NFP resources and experiences Family Life
I am super interested in NFP methods of tracking a woman’s cycle and fertility using temperature, cervical fluid, and menstruation as helpful indicators. I have heard there are different methods of NFP or fertility awareness and am wondering which ones people have found most effective and resources that could help someone interested in learning more and tracking the signs to get to know their body better
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Good luck!
 
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Wannabelikemary said:
During times of abstinence my husband desires to have genital to genital intercourse without either of us completing
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This is not avoiding behavior. In the Creighton method you would be abandoning the method if you do that.
Wannabelikemary said:
Is this morally acceptable? I’ve talked to three priests about it during confession and they said it was ok.
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If you don’t trust 3 priests who’ve already told you the (correct) answer, why would you believe random people on the internet?
 
If three priests said this and you didn’t mislead them, you should report them to the bishop immediately.
 
I was hoping to get some references to church teaching on the morality of the topic to better inform my conscience. I’m posing the question because I feel guilty even though I have discussed it with my confessors, who would respond with “I think you’re okay” or something similar. Then I wonder if they somehow misunderstood me even though I described it as politely yet frankly as I could. Perhaps I should have just posed the question if any type of sexual intercourse is licit within a marriage if neither spouse orgasms and I would have gotten less responses focused on anatomy. We have been in phase 2 for over sixty days multiple times in the past due to elongated cycles or breastfeeding. So sometimes we take the chance. Waiting is much easier for myself than my husband. If anyone has been in a similar situation and has tips for not succumbing to temptation I would appreciate that as well. I don’t need an anatomy lesson. I understand how it all works. I was looking for friendly advice. 😬
 
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Wannabelikemary said:
Perhaps I should have just posed the question if any type of sexual intercourse is licit within a marriage if neither spouse orgasms
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Why would you think this is not okay though? There are times when that happens. People get tired, children interrupt, the phone or doorbell rings…nothing wrong with ending before orgasm occurs.
 
In those instances the spouses would have the intention to finish and were interrupted. I don’t see a problem with that.
If we don’t intend on finishing it seems like it’s a contraceptive mentality and not fully giving, as humanae vitae commands.
 
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I’m just going to tell you from a guy’s perspective…it isn’t going to work. After one time , the residuals are going to be … ahem…painful after a few hours to a day.

At some point you’ll end up pregnant. One doesn’t “need to finish” for that to happen.
 
That isn’t what she said they are doing. I will take the OP at her word and not make a judgement on it. You are talking about something she wasn’t asking.
 
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Wait. So people can purposely engage in genitalia to genital contact for sexual gratification with the intent to not complete? Did you read the OP wrong?
 
Wannabelikemary said:
We have been in phase 2 for over sixty days multiple times in the past due to elongated cycles or breastfeeding.
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Have you talked to your practitioner/instructor?

It may be you can explore another method or get some tech?
 
Pretty sure that if this is done like that there will be gratification eventually, though the “accidental” excuse loses its potency when one engages in risky behavior. Either way it cannot be healthy for a marriage or a soul.
 
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