Marriage Advice from a Divorce Attorney

[JimG]

It seems that Brianna Heldt, at least, did not appreciate the advice. Caused some instability while driving the minivan.

Some People Have No Clue What Marriage Is

Listening to a recent morning radio show, I had the opportunity to hear a woman named Michelle Afont plug her recent book, The Dang Factor. In a nutshell, she describes it as “inspiring and motivating…

www.crisismagazine.com

 

[Tis_Bearself]

If Brianna gets this excited listening to the car radio, she needs to turn it off when she is driving, before she hurts someone.
I can’t take someone seriously who gets that fired up about what she hears on radio or TV. I keep my radio mostly turned off in the car and I pray in there instead. Brianna might consider doing the same. Life’s too short to be yelling at the radio…
unless maybe the whole thing was staged so you could have subject matter for your next ranty blog post.

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

Agreed with Tis.

But I agree with the radio. Kids aren’t a common interest. Parents need to be invested in their children and be on the same page, but recognizing they are not a “common interest” and not enough to hold the relationship together is really important.

People need to work on their relationship and not let the care of children be the only thing that binds them. This is how you get people who are in their 60’s and miserable. I have a friend with 6 children. The husband shares his interests with them, as does she. They make zero effort to put themselves aside and enjoy eachother’s things or find new common ground. As their children grow up and leave the house it’s become clearer and clearer that they made a huge mistake over the last 20 years. With the little kids now teens they are on an incredibly painful journey to find ways to reconnect and it’s very difficult. They are so very, very different…one, over 20 years, has become very introverted and the other has become very extroverted and with the kids as an excuse they’ve not had to address the issue.

Let’s be real here. Adults need to find ways to connect outside of sex and children. Relationships—parental, sibling, friendships–are work. Time quickly erodes common interests. I have friends who have drifted away. I have friends who could have drifted away but we tried hard and ensured we did grow and foster our common interests and experiment with new ones. Raising children might be the purpose of marriage, but it’s not forever and it’s not healthy to become a house divided as many do.

 

[JimG]

Well, the radio commenter was advising about "changing the way women love and learning to un-love and move forward when a relationship does not go according to plan.” Also that husbands and wives need to develop common interests, and that no, children do not constitute a common interest.

Considering that the author and her husband have nine children, with five homeschooled, no doubt she is convinced that the children really are a “common interest.” (The tenth, is on it’s way, and she ponders about being an ‘old mom’ vs a ‘young mom’ here.) Between the children and writing articles and blogging, she does not seem in danger of boredom.

 

[ChuckB]

I keep my radio mostly turned off in the car and I pray in there instead. Brianna might consider doing the same.

Or better yet, just pay attention to the road.