Marriage and divorce.

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Skittles73

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I read somewhere when I was researching the subject on marriage and divorce (to receive Communion) that;
If the divorce was through no fault of your own that you can receive through Confession. Does anyone know if this true and if so, what would be considered no fault? Would adultery be among this classification?
I am inquiring about this for a friend that wants to come back to the Church, but is remarried.
Thank you in advance.
 
Skittles73 said:
I read somewhere when I was researching the subject on marriage and divorce (to receive Communion) that;
If the divorce was through no fault of your own that you can receive through Confession. Does anyone know if this true and if so, what would be considered no fault? Would adultery be among this classification?
I am inquiring about this for a friend that wants to come back to the Church, but is remarried.
Thank you in advance.
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Your friend’s divorce is not the real problem. Anyone who is divorced and feels that he/she bears some significant guilt for the breakup can go to confession and then receive communion. But confession doesn’t end a marriage.

Your friend’s problem is being remarried. A Catholic can’t fix an invalid second marriage by going to confession.
 
Your friend should not be afraid to approach the pastor of her local parish. She can make an appointment to talk about her situation and he will guide her.
 
Additionally, even if your friend cannot receive Communion, he/she is MORE THAN WELCOMED AT MASS. Even the excommunicated are welcomed at Mass (note: your friend is not excommunicated).

There are plenty of times when I cannot receive communion because I didn’t make it to confession.

The inability to receive communion should not be a reason to feel unwelcomed. After all, the Church bars them out of love, to protect their soul from the mortal sin of sacrilege
 
phil19034 said:
Additionally, even if your friend cannot receive Communion, he/she is MORE THAN WELCOMED AT MASS. Even the excommunicated are welcomed at Mass (note: your friend is not excommunicated).

There are plenty of times when I cannot receive communion because I didn’t make it to confession.

The inability to receive communion should not be a reason to feel unwelcomed. After all, the Church bars them out of love, to protect their soul from the mortal sin of sacrilege
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It’s not a case of the excommunicated still being welcomed, it’s a case of the excommunicated still having the obligation to attend Mass on Sunday. They are not thrown out of the Church and still have the responsibilities and obligations of any other Catholic. They are expected to do what they need to do to have the excommunication lifted.
 
Skittles73 said:
I read somewhere when I was researching the subject on marriage and divorce (to receive Communion) that;
If the divorce was through no fault of your own that you can receive through Confession. Does anyone know if this true and if so, what would be considered no fault? Would adultery be among this classification?
I am inquiring about this for a friend that wants to come back to the Church, but is remarried.
Thank you in advance.
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We cannot help your friend. She must make an appointment and seek the advice of a wise and holy priest, who can help her with coming back to the Church and start the paperwork (if needed) for the annulment process. There may be many other factors involved that led to the end of her first marriage, and he will be in the best position to assist her.
 
Phemie said:
It’s not a case of the excommunicated still being welcomed, it’s a case of the excommunicated still having the obligation to attend Mass on Sunday. They are not thrown out of the Church and still have the responsibilities and obligations of any other Catholic. They are expected to do what they need to do to have the excommunication lifted.
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Phemie… Thank you, but my point was that no one is banned from coming to Mass. I was trying to do it in a “welcoming way.”

God Bless
 
Divorced Catholics can still go to the Sacraments provided they don’t remarry…if they remarry, they need an annulment first.

I suggest she go and speak to a pastor. 🙂
 
Annulment is not possible. My friend (male) is remarried, however he and I were wondering what is considered to be “not at fault” divorce. I understand that there are many reasons for divorce, and am aware of the rules for the remarried.
Just wanted to know more about the “no fault” clause. If it can be termed that. I will try to find the source and share it.
 
Skittles73 said:
Annulment is not possible. My friend (male) is remarried, however he and I were wondering what is considered to be “not at fault” divorce. I understand that there are many reasons for divorce, and am aware of the rules for the remarried.
Just wanted to know more about the “no fault” clause. If it can be termed that. I will try to find the source and share it.
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You may be thinking of Canon 2386
“It can happen that one of the spouses is the innocent victim of a divorce decreed by civil law; this spouse therefore has not contravened the moral law. There is a considerable difference between a spouse who has sincerely tried to be faithful to the sacrament of marriage and is unjustly abandoned, and one who through his own grave fault destroys a canonically valid marriage.”

This has to do with the sin that is divorce and has nothing to do with the validity of the marriage. Divorce is a civil matter, his marriage is a divine matter and the civil has no impact on the divine, so while the divorce may not have been his fault, that doesn’t affect the status of his first marriage which is presumed valid and thus still in effect. That makes his second marriage invalid and adultery against his first wife.

Not sure why an annulment is not possible, unless his marriage has already been examined and decreed to be valid. There may be another way for him to resume the sacraments but that is something he would have to discuss face to face with a priest.
 
Skittles73 said:
Annulment is not possible. My friend (male) is remarried, however he and I were wondering what is considered to be “not at fault” divorce. I understand that there are many reasons for divorce, and am aware of the rules for the remarried.
Just wanted to know more about the “no fault” clause. If it can be termed that. I will try to find the source and share it.
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Annulments are issues which can and regularly do cause a good deal, even a great deal, of angst, emotion, and factual inaccuracies. Having dealt with people who are divorced, I understand how widespread misinformation is.

Your friend may have determined that they cannot receive a decree of nullity but unless that is from their meeting with a priest or other individual directly involved with tribunals, it is extremely possible that they are mistaken as to facts and grounds for a decree, or are mistaken as to the actual process (such as a non-cooperative first spouse), or are making a decision based on emotions rather than facts.

I am not asking, nor do I want to know why your friend thinks an annulment is not possible; only to state that I have been down that path more than once with people, and in every single case, they were wrong.

That does not mean that they subsequently received one; but rather that their reasoning was incorrect.

I don’t know if this is any help to you, or to them; again, you have not stated any facts which would substantiate their statement, and it is not anyone’s business on this thread as to why they so feel.

The best advice I could give has already been stated; if they wish to receive Communion, then they need to address this with the pastor. The rules are that if one is married in the Church, that marriage is considered valid until a tribunal has decided otherwise; and if they remarry without a decree of nullity, they are considered to be living in an adulterous state due to the (presumed) validity of the first marriage. Any resolution of those matters has to be between them and their pastor.

Sorry - a bit blunt;, but I hope it helps. The issue of fault in a divorce is one issue that could result in their not being able to receive Communion, but as noted, that can be resolved by Reconciliation. Remarriage, whether they were at fault or not, is an entirely different matter and fault as to the first divorce doesn’t matter - they are considered to be in an adulterous state unless and until a decree of nullity is granted, fault or no fault.
 
I know I am kind of avoiding the specifics and I do apologize. A long story made short…
I recently came back to the Church after many years. I feel so connected again and it feels wonderful. As a result, I got my mother back as well. My father on the other hand, wants to go back as well, but needs to talk to a priest. My parents divorced when I was in my late 20s. My father remarried. I know why they divorced, but I don’t have it in me to discuss it. Kind of a sore topic for me. I am the one to say that an annulment isn’t possible because I don’t want to drudge this up after many years. I also don’t want to start any wars within the family.
I told my father to talk to a priest and he is thinking about it. It was me who did a little research and stumbled on this “no fault” clause and wanted to learn more.
I don’t know what to say at this point. I understand the policies, but am not ready to dig up old memories. I will leave it up to him to decide. I know he wants back, and I can only encourage him to do so.
I thank you all for the information.
 
Skittles73 said:
I know I am kind of avoiding the specifics and I do apologize. A long story made short…
I recently came back to the Church after many years. I feel so connected again and it feels wonderful. As a result, I got my mother back as well. My father on the other hand, wants to go back as well, but needs to talk to a priest. My parents divorced when I was in my late 20s. My father remarried. I know why they divorced, but I don’t have it in me to discuss it. Kind of a sore topic for me. I am the one to say that an annulment isn’t possible because I don’t want to drudge this up after many years. I also don’t want to start any wars within the family.
I told my father to talk to a priest and he is thinking about it. It was me who did a little research and stumbled on this “no fault” clause and wanted to learn more.
I don’t know what to say at this point. I understand the policies, but am not ready to dig up old memories. I will leave it up to him to decide. I know he wants back, and I can only encourage him to do so.
I thank you all for the information.
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Welcome back!

Again - we don’t need to know.

Don’t push; pray lots. I will put him in my prayers.
 
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