Marriage and Husband Leadership

[jman507]

As a woman who’s been married for nearly 17 years and is very happy, I’d have to say that mutual respect and friendship—and not necessarily strict roles within a marriage—are what it’s all about. I grew up and have lived around a lot of “conservative” Catholic couples and can tell you that a lot of times, the ones who are absolutely certain they are living that Bible passage the way it was meant to be lived don’t even LIKE each other all that much. I love my husband more than I ever thought possible, and I ENJOY making him feel like he is “head” of our household. However, I am actually the primary wage-earner in our home. So just what does “head” of the household mean in our home? For us, it means I value his level-headed intelligence and his ability to make decisions in a way I might not be able to when I am pulled in a million different directions by work, childrens’ needs, etc.
Good luck to you!

That makes me laugh. I would not be surprised if that was the whole way it was supposed be. I don’t think the woman needs to be the “head of the household”, because she all ready so tied to it, and doing it. It is the man, who I think is less tied to the family. It in effects gives him a challenge, and makes him think he has a respectable position.

As far as authority and the OP, one must remember not to cross over into being an authoritarian. Also I think one should remember, that the first is last and the last is first; the servant is the master, and the master is the servant. Your mission isn’t to rule everyone, your mission is to put people in a position to where they can rule themselves. If you become an authoritarian, your apparent success in your mission is only superficial, the heart of it is undermined.

Can someone page Whatevergirl, she’s been looking for threads like this to see they are there.

 

[brendan4better]

Sometimes THINKING about a bible verse too much can be a little counter-intuitive, if you know what I mean. Live it by loving each other—in the big ways and in all the little ways that come up every day—and you probably won’t find that discerning your role is such a mystery. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s admirable that you are trying to live your vocation in the best way possible, but don’t get so caught up in the letter that you miss the spirit. Good luck to you!

Hopefully we’ll be as fortunate to get 17 years of marriage under our belt. I agree with the above quote. With this discerning thread, I’m just fleshing out the meaning of it all by hearing other perspectives (since we’re new in our marriage). I’m sure over the years, we’ll learn what works for us within what it means to correctly fulfill our vocation of marriage. But some of that is by seeing good examples of Catholics making it work. It’s nice to read everyone’s take…