Marriage and surnames

[Osage_Orange]

I have a quick question to ask. Recently, while talking with some female friends, the discussion turned towards last names after marriage. Although most women are willing to accept their new husband’s surname, I do know of some that like their name as it is. Is it ok for women to keep their last name after getting married? Is it ok for the husband to take his wife’s last name? I wasn’t sure what (if any) the Catholic position was on this.

 

[LabChick]

There was another thread about this, but I can’t find it.

The wife taking the husband’s surname at marriage is a Western tradition, not a Catholic one. As far as I know, the Church has no position on the issue, though if I’m wrong, somone will quickly correct me.

I know many women who hyphenated or kept their last names at marriage. I also know two couples where the husband took his wife’s name at marriage. One had no problems, but the other guy got a lot of flack from the BMV over changing his driver’s license.

 

[puzzleannie]

there are at least two other threads on this topic. this is not an issue except in some English speaking countries, for myself, I can’t say that it would be better to have a name that identifies me as my father’s chattel, or my husband’s chattel, so what difference does it make?

 

[aspawloski4th]

instead of all this tdoo over surnames, why not just go by tradition and take the husbands last name nad that be the end of it?it worked for many years what so special about now that people sudenly want to do thinks different. I miss the good old days when people didnt question tradition, they just practiced it.

 

[Island_Oak]

for all out there struggling with this issue…please pick one name and stick with it…share it with your kids…put it in the school directory…it makes it so much easier on the rest of us out there checking the lunch schedule or homework assignment…we’re not interested in offending you…just trying to get the info we need.

 

[maendem]

aspawloski4th:

instead of all this tdoo over surnames, why not just go by tradition and take the husbands last name nad that be the end of it?QUOTE]

Uh… whose tradition? Many of us here are from traditions and cultures where the husband’s surname ISN’T taken, or is taken in addition to the wife’s, hence the “to-do” necesitated when these practices encounter the Anglo-Saxon tradition.

 

[cainem]

you could do what my cousins husband did, his wifes family were all girls so no male to carry on name so he took the name and added it into his, he now has double barrelled name, and it doesn’t sound silly

 

[Fitz]

This is not a church matter, but a preference. My niece added her hyphenated name before she had children. However it was so cumbersome that she dropped it and her children only have dad’s surname. All of my husband’s family in Luxembourg use both surnames when getting married. They don’t use if all the time, but it is their formal name.

 

[mssopranolady59]

My husband and I were married in Accapulco, Mexico in a Catholic Church. It is the custom there that woman keep her name, and my husband did and still does not have a problem with this.

when returning back from our honeymoon we asked many people including our priest and found that there was nothing against this.

 

[bapcathluth]

My little kindergarten girl started crying a couple of weeks ago when her brother informed her she would have to change her last name when she got married. She said, “Who will carry on the family name?”

It really touched me, because she already feels how some things are unfair for girls. I took my husband’s name because it is easier to do this, but it isn’t fair.

 

[TreeHugger]

For me, i look at this name change as a sign of the two people made one through God in marriage. It makes sense to me for both to have the same last name. It’s a sign of that unity. Then, it comes down to which name. Why not the husband’s? He is the head of the Catholic household. Of course, a wife plays an equally important role. I’m not going to get into the semantics of each. I’ve heard some women, including my mother, complain about how a woman changing her name takes away f/the professional credentials she may already have acquired. I think someone that dwells on the changing of their last name for this reason may not be ready for marriage to be quite frank. We have to make ourselves small to make God great in our lives, and this means humbling ourselves. If one thinks changing their name is such a sacrifice, wait until they begin married life.